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I wish I could put a "Don't give me money" sign on my brother
So my brother graduated form high school 2 years ago (he's 20 now). Right after graduation he left for bootcamp (he joined the Army Reserves).
Now I want to say that I have total and complete respect and support for the troops. I take it very seriously that they are leaving their families and sometimes giving their lives to fight for this country.
However, my brother (let's call him K) has been using his Army ID to get beer. He sells the people who work in packies this story about how he's just back from deployment so he didn't get his driver's license renewed and I guess you can't really read his birthday on his military ID. Plus, if someone who was deployed wants a 6-pack, who is really going to say no to that? Well, he was never deployed. He was gotten pulled over for driving drunk (our uncle is a cop so he just name drops to get out of too much trouble).
After his whole deployment story, a lot of times people will give him money in stores. Which he accepts. And to boot, he made up some story about him saving some little girl's life in Iraq while he was deployed. It's quite an intricate story, actually. When we went back to visit, DH and I witnessed this story first hand at a restaurant when he was trying to get beer at 10am. Not only did it work, the waitress got reamed for questioning him by another customer who then complained to the manager.
He's just such a freaking loser. I wish I could do something about this, like report him to someone.
Oh, and did I mention that he still lives with our parents?
ugh.
Sorry for ranting.
Re: I wish I could put a "Don't give me money" sign on my brother
Etsy shop
Wow... your brother should be ashamed of himself. I wish I knew there was a way that you could report him or someone else could.
I have a feeling deep down that this will come back to bite him in the A$$.
Maybe the Military Nestie Board might know some way to report your brothers douche like behavior?
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.
So, why doesn't he just get a fake ID like any other normal 20 year old?
Sigh, the military nesties said there's not much to be done unless he was on duty when it happened. And he wasn't.
And he gets more attention from pretending to be a hero at a time when there happen to be a lot of actual heroes (due to the war) than by being the drunken moron that he actually is.
I call him out on facebook all the time. Every status update about the n-word (which he uses frequently) and his stupid friends come running to his rescue. Sigh.
Etsy shop
Your brother sounds like a loser, to be sure.
However, I do think it is strange that he is old enough to fight for our country (even if he hasn't been deployed), but not old enough to buy a beer on his own. There is something wrong about that.
I thought about telling the paper. He got arrested for something a year ago. I don't want to say exactly what it was because it will be surprisingly easy to identify him (and therefore me, I'm not worried about him), but it destroyed the private property of over 100 people over the course of about 2 weeks. And everyone was very upset about it.
So I thought about telling the papers and seeing if they would run the story. Small, local papers run sh!t like that all the time. But then, I have a very unique maiden name and I don't want my whole family to be embarrassed because he's such a d-bag.
Etsy shop
An American Girl's Travels
Good grief what a winner he is.
OK - you can't change him - but you can make things harder ... when you were in that restaurant, you totally could have spoken up...to the waitress, to the nosey busy-body who reamed her, to her manager...and to your brother and whomever it would be appropriate to in the military.
Your uncle can spread the word around his buddies that name dropping his name is good and valid only for your aunt. Honestly, my DH is an officer, and that's what the entire unit does...and here, if someone name drops, that individual had better be reachable right then.
Wait.
He destroyed private property of over 100 people in the course of 2 weeks and was arrested. I'm assuming that was in the small town papers...I don't get how anything you'd do at that point would cause public embarrassment to your whole family as his personality is already public.
However, what really would be your end game in running a story rather than other, more reasonable routes?
There is no other benefit, which is why I didn't do it. It was more just thinking of ways to make his life harder than something I would actually do.
I didn't say anything at the restaurant because first of all, it was honestly embarassing. I just wanted to freaking leave. And secondly, I was worried about getting in trouble. When you're with an underage person who is trying to buy alcohol, you can be implicated, can't you? I'm a teacher and if I get in too much trouble then I can lose my license. If I lose my license, I lose my job. I can't afford to lose my job over him being a moron.
I only go back once or twice a year so there really isn't a lot I can do about it. I tell everyone, our family, mutual friends, etc. His bff was arrested a few months ago for beating someone pretty badly with a bat because he thought the guy was homosexual, so everyone is pretty aware of what an all-star baby bro is.
Etsy shop
Check us out
I would do this if I could afford one. Though I have to say, I'd be nervous about what I'd find out...
Etsy shop
I understand. Those aren't cheap, but boy are they good. And yeah I would be nervous what I would find out too. I know more than a few cases of people thinking their spouse is just bad talking about them to others or something, only to find out outrageous things like their spouse is a drug dealer or doing porn on the side.
Even though you know they legally can't do anything about it in the military, have you thought about reporting him anyway? Because the suspicion might make other issues about him come up or cause enough reason to do a basic blanket investigation on him. There are other things that he could be caught for. Like the one I heard yesterday: It is illegal to commit infidelity in a marriage in the eyes of military law.
Check us out
OK - I get that telling the newspaper, then, was really just a bunch of talk to blow off steam. Fine and can appreciate the frustrated thoughts.
You would not have gotten in one bit of difficulty, job wise or legally, if you had alerted the people at the restaurant that your brother was underaged. Sitting there, letting it happen, yes, you can get in trouble by complacency. So watch yourself there.
My husband was in the military and recently seperated from the Air Force. He said you can do something that will prevent him from ever doing something stupid like this again. You can report him to his Chain of Command or Squadron. Basically, this is the unit he belongs to and call into their NQC and make a report. This is taken very seriously by the military and your brother will be held under the UCMJ. Troops who have fasified documentation or even lied about things in this nature have been busted down in rank, lost their pay, restricted to certain duties, or dishonorably discharged.
I'm going to send you a PM about this!
Etsy shop