Am I being a b!tch?

JENFEF21

This is going to be a little long. 

I can't believe it, but Amelia's first birthday is tomorrow!  I'm a perpetual procrastinator so her party isn't until March 13th.  I wanted to have it at my parents' house because I felt that, for many reasons, it was more party-friendly.  DH decided his family wouldn't be comfortable there, so it was out of the question.  (No, my parents don't live in a mansion, or remotely "fancy" house.)  I think DH didn't realize that you don't have a 1-year old's party at Chuck E. Cheese, McD's or where ever.  At one point DH suggested we have two separate parties - one for his family at our house and one for everyone else at my parents'.  Uh, no I am absolutely not starting such a stupid trend!  So, the party is at our house; I'm not thrilled, but whatever.  Shortly after that was decided DH tells me his family is complaining about having to come to the party.  (Quick back story.  DH does not like my brother, sister and their SOs AT.ALL.  He's okay with my parents.  I think he is projecting that on his family.  The two sides got along just fine for the various wedding festivities and my baby shower.) Suddenly it was decided to celebrate my FIL's birthday, DH's birthday and Amelia's sometime this weekend.  Heck no!  Again, I'm not starting that trend.  My neice (on DH's side) gets to have her own birthday parties (with both sides of the family attending) and our daughter will, too.  So, I have decided Amelia is going to be too sick to attend a family outting this weekend (she really is sick just not THAT sick) so she and I will be staying home.  Kind of forces them to buck up and come to the planned birthday party.  So am I wrong anywhere in this whole messed up scenerio?

Five_letter

Slightly passive aggressive, but not a b!tch.

I'd probably do the same thing. 

justrachet

Adults can have combined birthday celebrations, not children. Children need their own special day. So what if she's too young to even know what a birthday is? Amelia absolutely deserves her very own birthday party with both sides of family in attendance. I'm with you. If you do go to the combined birthday thing, they will definitely not come to Amelia's party, so maybe it's a little snotty to not go, but I think you're right.

Vikki2pay

Five_letter:

Slightly passive aggressive, but not a b!tch.

I'd probably do the same thing. 

ITA

mlveynar

I agree with Marcy.  Just stand your ground.

Good luck!

OSUWifey09

Good heavens. That sounds like my family - we've had JJ's parties at my parents' house since it's in our hometown, but H's family wasn't happy about it because they thought I was pushing Joe to have it in "my territory." Um, none of you volunteered your place to host a party, so get over it.

I'm with Marcy - it's passive aggressive in a way, but you are NOT being a b!tch. Stand your ground and have your little girl's birthday when you want it. Hope it all works out!

the domesticated newlywed

I agree with Marcy, uber passive agressive - but I would do the same thing.

Stay home, they can suck it up -- they are adults. 

Cutiepie811

Nope. I would do the same thing!

aligator423uf

Sounds like his family needs to grow up. I would absolutely do the same thing. Your daughter deserves her own day, especially for her 1st birthday! That's kind of a big deal!

LarissaAnn

I'm in the passive aggressive but do it anyway camp.  It's bull that these alleged adults can't get over their crap for a baby's birthday.  Seriously?