mom leaving the kids???

e_jakiela

One of the hardest things coming to America from another country, was to state your opinions without  being considered judgemental...  I guess some other cultures are more open to being straightforward or brutally honest about some things people do...  I learned quite soon after moving, that you do not ever want to express you TRUE opinions on others' actions. Rather, you should be opinionating on what actions of the other people are not what you would have done, but "you were never in THEIR situation"

So today, i was on Yahoo and saw this: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/the-opposite-of-a-tiger-mother-leaving-your-children-behind-2460982

At as risk of being judgemental, I will say: this woman sounds a 'little' selfish... at first glance at least... I watched this video some three times and I realized... she is probably in her 50s now... meaning, she probably had less choices when she got married than we do nowadays... my mom often says that if she coould choose, she would not get married so soon... or have kids before she was 25

What do you think, ladies????

I am turning 31 this year, and totally ready to have babies... no matter how much my boobs will sag, my hair will go gray, or how much I worry about being a good parent. I don't even think about my career.  I think I am really ready to have a little cazy creature in my belly, whatever it takes once they are born. and , I know I can be successful/happy if that creature is here...

 

tinydancer842

I think being a mother requires balance between your "personal life" and your life as a mother. I think these women didn't strike that balance in their lives so instead they retreated. The one woman was attached to her kids by the hip for so long it seemed like she resented them almost from holding her back so to speak. I think women who have kids older when their lives are more established have an easier time at parenting sometimes. However society does seem to send mixed messages regarding motherhood & it's hard for people to not become totally overbearing as parents & give themselves time alone or time to focus on their careers. I am not going to pretend to know what it's like to be a mother because I don't -- but I think they should realize how it may effect their children to not grow up with both parents 100% of the time. I am sure its hard for their kids to adjust from having mom around all the time then not at all.

jessNlane52804

Um, if you have a baby, motherhood is not optional. I really can't believe this woman. It doesn't really matter whether she "wants" to be a full time mom, if you have a baby it's your responsibility to take care of your kids. 

louieblue

Our culture makes women think they need to be a helicopter parent to be effective.  To give up your own life completely and focus only on the child.  Don't have a life beyond your child.

I can't get behind this mentality.  I want children someday but believe me, I also still want my own identity that doesn't involve "I'm a mom, and that's it".  I wasn't raised this way.  DH wasn't raised this way either.  Our mothers were wives first, moms second, a teacher and nurse third.  I will parent in the same way.

That being said, once a woman gets pregnant and decides to keep the baby (as in not abort or elect for adoption) she is responsible for that tiny human until the child leaves the nest.  Responsible 24/7.  There's no picking and choosing when to be a parent.  If an adult does what these women do, I don't consider that a parent.  These women simply birthed the children, nothing more. 

The mother in the article that says she doesn't miss a parent/teacher conference misses real parenting.  What happens when the child does wrong and must be taught right.  She never has to do that.  She gets to be her childrens' buddy when it's convenient and it's sad the kids grew up that way.