Question

BoyMom21

What would you expect of a babysitter that was staying with your three year old from 7-12 in the evening?

tjlovesthepokes

Since I don't have kids, my opinion probably doesn't matter much, but I would probably expect the babysitter to feed him (assuming he hadn't eaten earlier), play with him, clean up their messes, and put the kid to bed and bedtime/a decent hour. Other than that, I probably wouldn't expect much. I would think the babysitter would be sleeping, given the get-home time, but I'd be fine with that as long as the kid wasn't awake and running around.

SunnyDaze31

Fresh baked cookies waiting me when I got home. She should have plenty of time to make them after she puts your son to bed.

Seriously, don't ask me! I have dogs, not kids. 

Temp856430000003146

Well, I've never hired a babysitter to stay with DS that long... but if I did...

I would expect dinner (maybe, depending on usual dinner time) play time, brush teeth (I probably wouldn't want the babysitter to give him a bath because I'm weird like that), bed time. Then I wouldn't really care what the babysitter did until we got home as long as she stayed at the house, didn't have other people over and cleaned up after herself.

What's the story?

tbvenable

I would expect her to feed him if he hadn't already eaten. Play/entertain the child. Put him to bed at normal bedtime. Once he is in bed I would expect her to clean up the dinner mess and the toys that they played with. But like pp's I don't have kids so my opinion probably doesn't matter.

Steven&Jamie

I would expect her to feed him, play with him, and put him to bed. I would hope bedtime would include the usual bedtime routine (which I would give her a play by play of so she knows what he's accustomed to), except bath time. I wouldn't want/expect a babysitter to bathe him. Once he's asleep I would expect her to clean up any messes from the evening, and no visitors, etc.

BoyMom21

I had already fed him dinner. I requested a bath if she wanted to give him one and his teeth brushed. I came home to a dry tooth brush, the tv still on and him on the couch (at midnight), and his toys were in the same spot in the living room as when we left. I'm pretty sure he watched tv for 5 hours. The bath tub was dry too. This girl is my age and has nanny experience. I told her probably the only way he would sleep was if she laid in bed with him and that if he put up a fight that she could just lay him down on the couch while she read/watched tv. She knew where his coloring stuff was and the big craft box we do activities from (I didn't expect a craft, but it was available. It's stickers and simple things though...nothing extremely messy or difficult). I'm trying to make sure I'm not expecting more than I should be. My kid was safe, acted happy and every time I text her she said he was doing great and playing with toys. She came highly recommended from another mom, and I'm good friends with her BFF.

Steven&Jamie

BoyMom21:

I had already fed him dinner. I requested a bath if she wanted to give him one and his teeth brushed. I came home to a dry tooth brush, the tv still on and him on the couch (at midnight), and his toys were in the same spot in the living room as when we left. I'm pretty sure he watched tv for 5 hours. The bath tub was dry too. This girl is my age and has nanny experience. I told her probably the only way he would sleep was if she laid in bed with him and that if he put up a fight that she could just lay him down on the couch while she read/watched tv. She knew where his coloring stuff was and the big craft box we do activities from (I didn't expect a craft, but it was available. It's stickers and simple things though...nothing extremely messy or difficult). I'm trying to make sure I'm not expecting more than I should be. My kid was safe, acted happy and every time I text her she said he was doing great and playing with toys. She came highly recommended from another mom, and I'm good friends with her BFF.

I would be pissed if my 3 yr old hadn't had his teeth brushed and was up watching tv at midnight. Yes, he was safe and happy, but how hard is it to color or get some stickers out while babysitting? I would not be happy about the fact that, apparently, he watched tv for 5 hours. You're definitely not expecting too much, IMO.

OSUWifey09

If my kid was still up at midnight, I would be pissed. The bath thing, I'd probably let slide - but the whole not brushing his teeth and putting him to bed at a decent hour would get to me. I'd want to know why my kiddo was still awake, if she even tried to put him to bed, and why she didn't contact me if he wouldn't sleep. I know he was happy and all, but all that plus the watching TV all night/not cleaning up would've made me just a tad bit upset.

Did you say anything when you got home?

stripesandspots

In her defense......it is VERY hard to get a kid to go to bed that isn't your kid...if he was happy and the house wasn't destroyed, I would call it a success.

Steven&Jamie

stripesandspots:

In her defense......it is VERY hard to get a kid to go to bed that isn't your kid...if he was happy and the house wasn't destroyed, I would call it a success.

True, but did she at least try to put him to bed? And it's NOT difficult to find something other than tv to keep a 3 yr old entertained for 5 hours.

stripesandspots

Steven&Jamie:

stripesandspots:

In her defense......it is VERY hard to get a kid to go to bed that isn't your kid...if he was happy and the house wasn't destroyed, I would call it a success.

True, but did she at least try to put him to bed? And it's NOT difficult to find something other than tv to keep a 3 yr old entertained for 5 hours.

I disagree. I think it would be very difficult to keep a three year old entertained for five hours - especially a kid that is not your own.

tjlovesthepokes

stripesandspots:

Steven&Jamie:

stripesandspots:

In her defense......it is VERY hard to get a kid to go to bed that isn't your kid...if he was happy and the house wasn't destroyed, I would call it a success.

True, but did she at least try to put him to bed? And it's NOT difficult to find something other than tv to keep a 3 yr old entertained for 5 hours.

I disagree. I think it would be very difficult to keep a three year old entertained for five hours - especially a kid that is not your own.

I think I probably agree with Stripes.

BoyMom21

I don't mind the tv. He watches tv with me. I am not happy with tv for that long, though. There is a lot you can do with a 3 year old...I wouldn't expect five hours. 3 of those hours he should have been in bed. She said she didn't try to lay him down in bed. Only a blanket/pillow on the couch. I'm not upset, I just expected something different.

Steven&Jamie

tjlovesthepokes:

stripesandspots:

Steven&Jamie:

stripesandspots:

In her defense......it is VERY hard to get a kid to go to bed that isn't your kid...if he was happy and the house wasn't destroyed, I would call it a success.

True, but did she at least try to put him to bed? And it's NOT difficult to find something other than tv to keep a 3 yr old entertained for 5 hours.

I disagree. I think it would be very difficult to keep a three year old entertained for five hours - especially a kid that is not your own.

I think I probably agree with Stripes.

This girl came highly recommended, I assume that means she's an experienced babysitter. An experienced babysitter should be able to keep a 3 yr old entertained for a few hours. 5 straight hours? Maybe not. But like BoyMom said, he should've been in bed for part of that time. Bottom line--5 hours of tv watching is ridiculous, IMO.

amidavey06

I don't think you expected too much from her. Plus it's not like you didn't explain to her what needed to be done. I would be pretty pissed that she didn't even try to put him to bed.

Temp856430000003146

BoyMom21:

I had already fed him dinner. I requested a bath if she wanted to give him one and his teeth brushed. I came home to a dry tooth brush, the tv still on and him on the couch (at midnight), and his toys were in the same spot in the living room as when we left. I'm pretty sure he watched tv for 5 hours. The bath tub was dry too. This girl is my age and has nanny experience. I told her probably the only way he would sleep was if she laid in bed with him and that if he put up a fight that she could just lay him down on the couch while she read/watched tv. She knew where his coloring stuff was and the big craft box we do activities from (I didn't expect a craft, but it was available. It's stickers and simple things though...nothing extremely messy or difficult). I'm trying to make sure I'm not expecting more than I should be. My kid was safe, acted happy and every time I text her she said he was doing great and playing with toys. She came highly recommended from another mom, and I'm good friends with her BFF.

I  think your expectations were reasonable, but they may have been a little unclear to her. Did you tell her to play with him and not watch TV all night? That might sound dumb and you shouldn't have to spell it out like that, but some people need that. Maybe the people she babysat for before didn't mind if their child watched TV the whole time she was there, ya know?

I babysat for one particular family somewhat regularly when I first got married (before DS was born). She was adamant we NOT watch TV and if we did it only be for 30 minutes. She told me she didn't hire a babysitter to watch TV with her child, she hired one to play with and entertain her child. I understand that and I did what she said.

I don't know.. I would expect a normal person to know that watching TV for 5 hours is unacceptable, but maybe to her it was acceptable and she needed you to tell her exactly what your expectations are. I don't think your thinking is out of line.

stripesandspots

If he doesn't watch a lot of tv normally, I just I don't see what the big deal is for him to have watched it while you were gone.

Hell, when I was in daycare I watched soap operas all day, everyday and I am still a reasonably intelligent human being.

oklagirl

I'm not at all a kid person, and I don't really have experience baby-sitting. I baby-sat a few times last year from maybe 6pm-10pm for a certain 2 year old and managed to feed him, play with him, watch Sesame Street, get PJs on and get him to bed on time with no trouble at all. I didn't brush his teeth (sorry, Wendy ). I guess my point is, if she is experienced and knew what you wanted, you should be able to expect her to do it.

bluekid

oklagirl:

I'm not at all a kid person, and I don't really have experience baby-sitting. I baby-sat a few times last year from maybe 6pm-10pm for a certain 2 year old and managed to feed him, play with him, watch Sesame Street, get PJs on and get him to bed on time with no trouble at all. I didn't brush his teeth (sorry, Wendy ). I guess my point is, if she is experienced and knew what you wanted, you should be able to expect her to do it.

This is kind of my thought as well. When you get right down to it, you hired her for a service, and it sounds like she minimally delivered.  

BoyMom21

bluekid:

oklagirl:

I'm not at all a kid person, and I don't really have experience baby-sitting. I baby-sat a few times last year from maybe 6pm-10pm for a certain 2 year old and managed to feed him, play with him, watch Sesame Street, get PJs on and get him to bed on time with no trouble at all. I didn't brush his teeth (sorry, Wendy ). I guess my point is, if she is experienced and knew what you wanted, you should be able to expect her to do it.

This is kind of my thought as well. When you get right down to it, you hired her for a service, and it sounds like she minimally delivered.  

Yes, I feel like that sums it up well! And as Tavia suggested, I'll leave clear instructions on things I want him to do/not to do while she's there. But I'll be honest--I was extremely happy with a 16 year old that watched him several months ago, so I will probably be calling her instead. She played outside with B, fed him snacks, they colored, and when I came home all of the toys were put up and he was in his pj's with teeth brushed already. I don't get how a 16yo was more knowledgable about being a sitter than a 26yo with years of experience.

Temp856430000003146

Whew! This was quite the hot topic. Someone needs to kick our board in the butt!

ShansBride

I'd be really pissed if my kid was still up at midnight and she didn't even try to put him to sleep.  He would be so overtired and cranky the next day.

I think that your expectations were reasonable though.  And I agree that you should be able to expect from a 226 year old at least what you get from a 16 year old.

kayleeb

ShansBride:

I'd be really pissed if my kid was still up at midnight and she didn't even try to put him to sleep.  He would be so overtired and cranky the next day.

I think that your expectations were reasonable though.  And I agree that you should be able to expect from a 226 year old at least what you get from a 16 year old.

I don't think I'd ever want a 226 year old to watch my kids...

OUKap

I babysat a few time. I probably wasn't very good.The last time was for a 5 year old boy that wouldn't stop playing with his male parts.

At the minimum, she should have followed or attempted to follow your directions about bedtime routine. It is very hard to get a child that is not your own in bed. The activities should be focused around the child - playing games, reading a book, watching a movie. What is on TV from 7-12 that is kid appropriate? 

jesseandbri

I think your expectations are within the normal range.  I think that younger babysitters have more energy and are a bit more eager to please, I know I was a better sitter at 14 than 18.  I had better things to do when I was 18 (or now) than entertain a child, whether I am getting paid or not.