I am not typing this to start any kind of drama or anything and a lot of newbies won't even know what I am talking about, but that's OK.
I miss the Nest. I miss the way it was. I miss all the ladies that I had "know" through out my whole engagement and pregnancy. I miss hearing about their lives, their joys, their sorrows, even if we were not close friends, or even friends.
It makes me sad.
I wracked my brain for months wondering how to "bring it all back to the way it once was". Talked to Tom constantly about "how can I fix this?". I know not everyone likes each other or can get along. I know hurtful things may have been said...but we are all adults.
At Austin's baptism this past Sunday, the sermon hit home to me. I know you all may not believe in God or whatever - but pretty much this is what the priest said:
God loves us and we love our spouses and/or children and it is our jobs as parents to teach our children that unconditional love. To love our family, our friends, our spouses, our neighbors and even our enemies and that teaching this love to our children will make them better people in the world.
Re: I have to put this out there.
lots of looks, but no replies yet...i think that is very telling. as a 5+ year vet, i can tell you from my pov what happened. RULES. Cliques. Like you can talk about ANYTHING with REAL w/o watching what you say and being overtly pc. I have turned into a (mostly) lurker, and I wish it wasn't like that. Another issue is, after marriage, people change. They move on to babies, and as a mom I can tell you there is often no time for computer. I don't thing it means people don't care about others they "know" (or not) here, its just easier to not get involved. Many topics here, unless personal to people, is fluff. We older, and deeper than most of what gets chatted about. The world is falling apart around us, and we can't even talk about what really matters out of fear of the old fashioned flame.
I really appreciate what you said about the sermon. It applies outside of virtual group too, and that brings even more meaning. Thanks for sharing it.
Lisa, you already know that I feel the same way. It makes me sad as well.
To everyone else - even though things will obviously never be the same around here, please think about what a wonderful resource this board once was. It was such an enjoyable environment! Would it be so awful to make an attempt at bringing some of that energy back? I realize people have their differences, and maybe it is hard to accept new people who speak their minds, but in the long run, we are all missing out on a little bit of something.
i know personally, I viewed this a few times before I figured out how I wanted to respond. I still don't really know what to say.
I think it's very nice of you to make the post and I'm glad that you had such a positive experience at Austin's baptism. Unfortch, this is the internet. People are going to say/do what they want at any given time. It's the negative part of the "privilege" we have of being members of the message board communities and "meeting" people through the internet. With very few exceptions, you just can't "ban" people or whatever for speaking their mind, being inconsiderate/rude, or being asshats and trolls, etc.
It's easier to be a jerk online. It's easier to disagree with someone and stand by your opinion online, you don't have to look anyone in the eye or anything, so even the shyest of people can be an internet tough guy. Makes for a very interesting dynamic- but you tend to get a higher number of stronger personalities...which is just going to lead to more sh*tstorms of drama and the like. It's sad, but there has to be a negative somewhere in it.
I don't think you will ever see this board return to the way it was before the mass exodus of old schoolers (and some newer ones). I am positive many people do check the boards, but they just seem to have no motivation to post regularly. And that's their prerogative (thanks bobby brown) to do so. It's probably best for some people to NOT post than to post and start or continue drama.
Personally, while it's different now, I still enjoy this board. Sure, it's slow as hell sometimes, but I'd rather have it slow than to have a new piece of drama every single day. I can get plenty of drama in RL, it's not why I come to the internet, that's for sure.
As usual, very well put, Heather. ?
And now, thanks to you, I have that damn Bobby Brown song in my head. ?Poo.?
Seeing as I've looked at this a few times, i guess i should post something.
My only thoughts right now are "it is what it is" ya know! I wont go into if i miss it or not. Those who know me know how i feel. But there is only so much one person can do!
I agree with you & Amye & Heather- it is friendly around here and I do like the new faces! ?It's fun to meet new people. ?That's not to say I don't miss some of the "old" faces, but to each their own. ??
As a newbie I look forward to "meeting" new people. It is, however, hard to do so when not many people are willing to talk or share much... of course I know many of you have been on this board for many years and I know what its like when a new person comes to the board and starts posting, as I was on TK for about 2 years by the time I got married.
I worked hard on the NH board (with the help of a very lovely lady) to get it active and up and running as it died down after spring of 07 when the brides got married and came over here. I know that can be done around here, people just need to be willing to let their guards down a little bit here and there and it will happen. I hope it does because I can tell there are many wonderful women here!
Just wanted to put that out there.
I'm sorry it makes you sad Lisa. I too miss the way it was sometimes. It was fun to read about everyone's lives, but I also got tired of the drama that kept creeping up. I think the board has died down but recently is on an up-swing again. I think it's just the cycle of life, as dumb as that sounds. People have different things going on in their lives and fit the Nest in as they choose. It's always been a great resource, for information and for making friends.
I'm honestly not talking down about anyone- but I'm guessing a lot of the people who chose to leave a while ago made their friends here and moved on, which is cool. I personally have made some great friends IRL from here and look forward to meeting more of the newcomers.
Maybe we need something to bring the community together again- Like a new nestie list again, or nestie birthday or anniversary list, or more polls, or more GTGs... just some ideas!
Thanks ladies for putting things into perspective for me. I heard from a friend today that I hadn't heard from in months and we got to talking and all of these things came to the surface for me, so I just had to get it out KWIM.
Thank you all again - fresh starts are good
I totally agree with you lisa, it is sad that it isnt the same. I started on the knot 4 YEARS AGO, i was pregnant with jae and everyone i talked to were from there. I was planning my wedding ( ok i did everything backwards) Now jae is 3 , it isnt the same.. I still talk to laura thats it.. You know what it is, the others created their own private nest so we do not see them anymore. I dont mean to be the *** about it. Ever since that started it died down.. Sure it was full of drama, cat fights, but thats what brings us closer. We fight becase we care about what each other thought of ..
I think the board drew apart even more after Becky died. thats my opinion. It just quieted down from that point on.. I check almost everyday to keep up with everyone but sadly half the people here i have no idea who they are. I try keep up with who is who.. It doesnt work for me.. I am still greatful that we still have the support system here. Even though it isnt the same,this board still gives support when it is needed!!
Lovin' the outfit too. ?He gets cuter every time I see him!?