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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
stolen from MM ... splitting restaurant checks
There's a post on MM with a link to this blog post about splitting checks at a restaurant.
What do you think? Is it correct?
What do your friends do - split check evenly (total bill divided by # of people) or have each person pay for what he/she ordered?
Personally, I'm over 25, and my friends always split the check based on what they ordered, so we don't follow the rule as described in the blog.
Mr. Sammy Dog
Re: stolen from MM ... splitting restaurant checks
Judging
If it's more than 2 or 3 people I always ask for separate checks.
I think it is ridiculous "if you're over 25" to just split it evenly. I'm not paying for Suzy's steak if I just had an appetizer. No, no way. And why is 25 the magical cut off age?
I think that article is baloney.
In general, I think the people who say "it'll even out in the end" are the people who order the steak & lobster and a bottle of wine while everyone else gets a salad or soup. So I agree with the others that that's crap. I would (and do) think anyone who would do that is either really dumb or really cheap (or both).
That said, in certain circumstances, I think it depends. If I'm out with friends and what we all order comes within a couple of dollars (including beverages), I'm fine with just splitting it evenly even if I end up having to pay an extra dollar or so because I think it's kind of a pain to figure out the exact price of what everyone ordered. Of course, if the people I'm with want to do it the other way, I'm cool with that, too.
If I'm out with people and we order radically different priced things or I know one of the friends is in a financial place where splitting a similarly-priced check down the middle isn't feasible, I'd either suggest we each pay our own exactly or speak up if someone suggested that "it would just even out in the end."
Also, why is 25 the magic cut-off age?
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For me it depends on the people I'm eating with and the kind of restaurant we're at. I have learned through multiple experiences with one group of friends that we always split the bill down the middle. So after feeling like I was getting jipped a couple times, I started following their lead when it came to ordering drinks, dessert, after dinner drinks. That way I got my fare share.
This is also one of the reasons that I love DH, he can usually figure it out in his head what everyone owes including the tip.
I also feel bad asking the wait staff to split the bill, but am always really glad when they say sure. I figure they may get tipped better this way, rather than everyone trying to figure it out in their head and coming up short. I hate that feeling. Or the feeling that I didn't contribute enough.
I would hate to feel pressure into ordering all these things if I didn't really want to. That seems unfair.
And I won't even touch the use of the word "jipped" (it's actually gypped.)
We tend to split checks evenly when we go out with small-ish groups of friends. And it's not because we usually spend more! I'm vegetarian, so my entree is usually less than the omnivore entrees... We have always been the type to overpay rather than underpay anyway.
We've just reached a point in our lives where it's just not worth it to worry whether we're slightly over-paying, or whether someone else is underpaying. We just don't really care. It's just a few bucks, and it's worth it to us to pay extra to eliminate the hassle of trying to split the check, and avoid ending a pleasant dining experience with unpleasant math
Besides, with our friends, if someone ordered a really expensive meal (compared to other people), they'll generally acknowledge that and offer to throw in extra for the tip, or whatever. Or, if there's a really big imbalance in what people spent, we'll just ask the server to split the check.
It's just such a lovely feeling to end a meal out with friends without worrying about who owes what... if we pay extra for that feeling, I'm totally ok with that.
(Obviously if you went out to eat with friends who consistently abused this arrangement, that wouldn't work so well...)
I knew I was going to get called out on that. I'm really sorry, I honestly did not mean to offend anyone.
I think I became a "everyone should pay for what they ordered person" after some bad experiences with a certain group of friends. Some couples would order appetizers, salads, entrees, desserts, bottles of wine or expensive mixed drinks, etc. while some of us would just order an entree and one drink. The last time this happened, we ended up paying $140 for what should have cost us about $60. I was so mad. If it's an extra $10 bucks or something, I wouldn't care. But that was ridiculous.
I always wonder ... the people who order expensive stuff and want to split the check evenly with people who ordered a lot less ... do they notice that they owe a lot more money and are just trying to weasel their way out of paying their fair share? Or are they completely unaware of what they're doing because they don't pay enough attention to know that the even splitting isn't fair?
Mr. Sammy Dog
It depends where we're eating and who we're eating with, I think. I'm usually one of those "it all evens out in the end" with a certain group of friends. We've all joked that one of us probably owes the others like $50, but we'll never figure out who it is, and we don't care.
If it's a larger group, I'll try to ask for separate checks up front before we order, so the waitstaff has less work later. (My friends who are waitstaff say it helps?) Usually, H and I end up probably paying more than we should, because I hate when people tip low and I hate arguing over $10.
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It depends on the situation. Personally, I think it is more mature (not sure if this is the correct word) to just split it down the middle, or even for one couple to pay for the entire meal. For example, if you go out with a certain couple often, one couple would pay one time, the other couple the next time, and switch off.
In larger groups, we usually ask for separate checks to make it easy. And when we go out with couples that order way more than us, or don't reciprocate.
I guess at this age I feel it is somewhat immature to nitpick over a couple bucks, if you are out with friends. It shouldn't really matter that much.
It depends on the group of friends we are with. With some, we split individually. With others, we divide the check evenly among all of the people at the table, no matter what we each had. Some of our friends order big items, we all pass and share, so it makes sense to share the cost. There isn't a 'norm' for us - it varies greatly depending on which friends we are out with.
We don't mind just splitting down the middle (or in whatever number people we are with) but not all of our friends feel that way so we just don't bother with those friends.
I agree with the person what wrote that it feels immature to nitpick over dollars. I also agree with Flip (surprise!) that as long as you had a great time with your friends, what's the fuss?
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This totally depends on who we are with too - with some friends that are infamous for being horrid horrid tippers, we always ask for separate checks at the beginning to avoid the hassle. With other friends we all split down the middle no matter what we all have because it usually does rotate on who is the most expensive - or we all order roughly the same food. With those types of friends - splitting it up evenly always works because whoever did order the more expensive thing will get the tip, or will buy the bottle of wine and share with the table, etc.
The few times we get to go out to eat with good friends, it just isn't worth it to worry about a money - the one pp that had the major difference I'd be ticked, but up to $20-$30ish +/-, I just don't worry about it. It would cost more than that to have them come to my house for dinner, and at least going out I don't have to clean up the mess afterward - and I still get to see my friends!
Agreed. I'm not paying for someone's lobster when I ordered an appetizer and a diet coke.
we usually split it. most of our friends have plenty of money and it really does seem to even out in the end.
that said, i went out to dinner with some girlfriends a couple weekends ago and ordered a $19 entree. i didn't ask for wine but the server poured me a very small glass. that was all i had (and water).
when the bill came, they all said "let's just split it" and it ended up being $58pp because they had consumed 2 bottles of wine that were over $50 a pop. i was kind of annoyed but not enough to say anything. i think that is the first time that has happened to me in 10+ years so... *shrug*
I waited tables for years, and would try to make it a point to ask a group of people if they wanted separate checks. It really does make the whole process much easier.
We generally only go out in smallish groups (like 2 or 3 couples total). And generally we just split equally because it is so, so much easier. But also among our group of friends, we all generally order the same types of things, so it is all within couple of bucks, and among our friends, it really does come out in the wash. I hate nickeling and diming in a small setting with just a couple other people. And I don't go to dinner with people who just order a side salad. At least not twice.
In a big group, though, this is a recipe for disaster, because people so often are doing different things, so then I ask for separate checks in advance.