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Advice Needed - Wedding Related
It feels like forever since I've included "wedding related" in a topic subject! Though, it's not my wedding I'm talking about this time.
Anyway, here is the dilemma. I was asked to be in my sister's wedding that is taking place next summer (yay!). She asked our 3 other sisters to be in it as well as two of her friends. Over the weekend, she mentioned to two of us that she doesn't want us to plan her shower and have our mom and his mom do it instead! Her reasoning behind this is because my sisters did my shower and our less-than-reliable-sister really stressed the others out (sorry if this gets confusing. I have a lot of sisters!) She wants to make sure that we don't have to go through that again for her shower. I flat out told my bride-to-be sister that she should have no say with anything involving her shower and that she is not supposed to worry about it. She was still pretty persistant.
Question is, do I ignore ettiquette and go with her wishes? Or, should I go ahead and have a part in planning anyway? While the idea of not having to spend the extra money for the shower is nice, I feel like as a BM, it is my responsibility to have a part in her shower and I'll pretty much feel left out if I am not involved in the planning. On the other hand, it is her wedding and while traditionally she should have no say in the shower, if it is her wish for our mom and her FMIL to do all the planning, who am I to refuse that? She is also one who is a bit of a rebel when it comes to tradition and following etiquette. What do you guys think?
Oh, and I probably should mention that her MOH lives on the other side of the country so the chances of her being at the shower are extremely slim.
my read shelf:
Books read in 2011: 32 of 75
Re: Advice Needed - Wedding Related
My
Ditto what Court said. I don't see the problem with letting the moms doing the majority of the planning for the shower. Let them know that you are more than willing to help them out in any way and leave it up to them if they want to take you up on that offer.
FWIW - my shower was completely planned by my MIL and one other bridesmaid. My mom and MOH live in different states (my sister lives accros the country) so they were not able to even be here for the shower let alone try to help plan it.
My mom, sisters and my mom's best friend hosted one shower, my MIL hosted another (different cities). My sisters were not in the bridal party (but all 9 of their kids were).
It sounds like your sister is trying to let you and your other sister off the hook with dealing with the not so helpful one (and maybe sparing all of you and herself unnecessary drama?). I would offer your services to your mom, and the FMIL to help anyway you can.
my read shelf:
Books read in 2011: 32 of 75