It's not a b!tchy rant, but I am terrified and need to get this out in the open.
You guys, I graduate in two months. I am so excited to finally be done with nursing school, but so scared of being done at the same time. I feel like I'm unprepared. Like I don't know my stuff. My grades have been okay, although they've been a little lower this semester and I am bummed about it. I have two more tests and I need them to be great so I can have something to fall back onto. Problem is, I studied my butt off for the first three and barely made it through. If I fail this semester, I have to start over from the VERY beginning. That's a different story, though.
Right now, there are twelve RN job openings where I am. There are 120 other students in my graduating class, plus all of the students graduating from all of the other schools in the surrounding area. There are even students that graduated LAST May that still don't have jobs. The job market is ridiculous. And if/when I do get a job, it scares the living daylights out of me that I will actually be a nurse and taking care of my own patients. Yeah, sure, I've had hundreds and hundreds of clinical hours completed, but I am always with an instructor or my preceptor. Most of the time, any skill I perform, whether it be giving meds, inserting an IV, hanging IV fluids, etc, has been with someone. I am scared to do it alone. Like I'll mess something up.
I know it's normal to be nervous because you don't know what to expect, but I have these people's lives in my hands. I need to shake this fear. I'm sorry about this vent, but I needed to talk about it somewhere.
Re: I need to vent
October 11, 2008
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