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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
***MIT***
I saw your post about ferber and Weisblut and hope you can help me. I'm having trouble seeing the difference between Ferber's wait and check method and Weisblut's gradual extinction. I thought we should try one on Felix bc he sleeps fine in his crib at night, but he has been braking out of his swaddle at 4am and then can't get himself back to sleep. Now he seems to be developing a 4am habit. And during the day he won't sleep anywhere but his swing. I thought I would try to wean him from sawddling first and that doing that might help with naps in the crib. We have both books, and I've more closely read Weisblut, but their approaches seem so similar. Confused.
Re: ***MIT***
Hey there. I agree that there are a lot of similarities between the two books, and I think the gradual extinction and Ferber methods are very similar - I'm not really sure of the differences. When I said Weissbluth worked for us, it's because we found that his rapid extinction was what worked best - meaning no periodic checks. We started out doing the gradual extinction and DD would scream her freaking head off every time we went in the room, so we decided to stop doing that and it worked so much better. We had a video monitor, though, so that really helped because I could still see that she was okay. We also found his "don't go to them before 6am" rule to really help DD learn to "sleep in" (as in, she usually doesn't wake up before 5 anymore).
The other thing that Weissbluth really helped with was choosing bed and nap times.
I will say that we did use Ferber's method for night weaning (he has a whole chapter on this) and it worked fabulously. And I read the chapter on naps and followed to the "T" to try to get DD to nap well in the crib - and that did not work, but Ferber also acknowledges that it might not work. DD STILL naps in her swing!
So, in your case, I agree with your plan - I would work on night sleep first because that is (usually) easier because their drive to sleep is much greater than it is during the day. DD was sleeping only her swing for both naps and night sleep, and we just decided, at four months, to put her in the bassinet for the night. She cried for a half hour and then went to sleep on her own. So hopefully it will be similar for you when you drop the swaddle!
As far as which method to use, that is so family/child dependent! I guess you have to pick one, do it, and adjust if you feel it's necessary. Gradual extinction did work when we did it in the beginning, but she was way more upset than she was after we decided to switch to rapid extinction.
Thank you thank you thank you!
We set our bed times based on Weissbluth and that was really helpful. I have a feeling the rapid extinction would work better. I might try that when he does his new 430ish wake and then just wait until 6am to go in -- we have teh video monitor too so maybe that will make me feel better (although last night all I felt was terrible when he flailed his arms!)
Isn't it funny that they'll sleep in the crib at night but not during the day?
Good luck! I will say, with the morning wakenings, we don't always follow W. completely and sometimes go get her before 6 - it depends on when she wakes up and how upset she is. Sometimes (after we travel especially) we have to work our way up to 6:00.
And I agree on how it's funny how they won't sleep in the crib during the day! I've already tried to get her napping in the crib two times, and it sucked, so I'm probably going to wait until she's down to one nap to try again. I'm glad she's small and can still fit in the swing!