Could we possibly add any more stress to my son's wedding this Sunday?

2dBride

My son is getting married on Sunday. I'm thrilled that my son has found someone he loves, who also loves him, and they are getting married. The wedding, though, is going to be incredibly stressful. For an example of a family that puts the fun in dysfunctional, consider the following:

1. The mother from whom I have been estranged since 1994 will be there. She has a tendency to try to disguise our estrangement by running up to me and giving me big hugs, which I cannot escape without causing a scene. And my father (who has been steadily drinking two liters of wine a day for my entire life) will no doubt get drunk and maudlin and start trying to persuade me yet again to reconcile with my mother.
2. Virtually everyone NotFroofy knows will be in the wedding. My ex and I will be escorting the groom. My daughter and her partner are in the wedding party. The only other people from my family who will be there are my parents (see preceding paragraph), and my sister (who is a bit much even for those of us who love her to handle, and who was responsible for the whipped cream fight at our reception). So NotFroofy is likely to end up feeling like a fifth wheel.
3. The bride's father tried to kill my son. Yes, literally. At one point, the bride was having an argument with her parents, and my son tried to defuse things by suggesting that she come over to his apartment to cool down. Apparently, the very suggestion that she might go to a man's apartment was such a blow to her honor that her father pulled a knife on my son. He's also extremely homophobic.
4. The bride's mother seems nice, but she's memorably clueless. See this story of her reaction to our wedding photos.
5. NotFroofy is also stressed out because she got a haircut yesterday in preparation for the wedding, and her hair got completely butchered.
6. Given my other alternatives, I'm thinking that the person I most want to be seated with, aside from NotFroofy, is my ex-husband. And it's not so much that I enjoy his company as that he is the best of a lot of really bad alternatives.

I'm thinking my entertainment at the reception may consist of my beating my head against a wall.

101709lovey

I have to say, you are one strong woman to go and put on a game face through all of this.  I will keep you in my thoughts and hope beyond hope that people can keep their civility long enough to make sure the most important part of this day can go off without a hitch.  Hugs, congratulations, and good luck!!

wittyschaffy

Umm wow - sounds like a drama-rama.    I don't have much advice for you other than maybe partake of your dad's habit for a day??   Cheers!! 

juangela

That is a lot for you to handle! On the positive side, you are clearly a very strong woman and you will get through it. Do you drink? I'd drink just enough to get myself through it without getting so intoxicated I did something I'd regret (which would be likely given the personalities you describe).

I'm really feeling for NotFroofy right now, too...nothing kills confidence like a butchered hair cut. I have a GREAT GREAT GREAT guy in Bethesda if she dares give it another go. He is a good friend of my husband's and he does great work. If he can't see her, he and his 2 brothers own the salon together and they are all awesome. Let me know!

munkii

Number 3 worries me.  I hope you have your cell on hand in case he goes crazy.

kelnyc

Yowzah! Is it wrong that I am SO looking forward to an update from you afterwards? 

Milliechel67

Wow!  Take lots of deep breaths!

2dBride

Well, the good news is, NotFroofy got another haircut today.  Her hair is still a lot shorter than she wanted, but at least it's manageable.  If only the other stresses were as easy to fix!

2dBride

This just keeps getting better and better!  Today, we learn that although the bride's mother has figured out that my marriage is a same-sex one, she has not told the bride's father. She assumes he will just figure it out during the reception. And there will be a "parents' table" for:

• NotFroofy
• Me
• My ex-husband
• The bride's father
• The bride's mother
• My son's old nanny

Umm, ok. So this means I have the prospect of coming out to the bride's virulently homophobic father (whose impulse control is lacking enough that he once tried to knife my son) at the reception, while sitting at the same table as him.

But you know what? I have just reached the blissful state of not giving a flying fork. My son, his wife-to-be, and the bride's mother all had the chance to tell the father beforehand. And they all decided it was ok for him to find out during the reception instead. So if he makes a scene at the reception, it is officially Not My Problem.

Milliechel67

2dBride:

But you know what? I have just reached the blissful state of not giving a flying fork. My son, his wife-to-be, and the bride's mother all had the chance to tell the father beforehand. And they all decided it was ok for him to find out during the reception instead. So if he makes a scene at the reception, it is officially Not My Problem.

It's so freeing when you realize it's not your problem!  Good for you!