Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Good idea? buying property with my inlaws?
My sister in law just finished med school and will be starting her residency in a town about an hour south of where we live. She and her husband don't have a ton of money, because they've both been in school for the last 10 years! However they want to buy a house. My husband and his other sister and dad have been talking about everyone chipping in to buy a house (ideally a duplex) and then using it as a rental property when SIL and her hubby move out. The market is really stable in this town, so I'm not worried that the bottom will fall out (really, how could it AGAIN?).
I am however worried about tying up this much money with family. We are comfortable financially, but there are other things I would rather spend our money on, like saving for a bigger house for us, and for having a baby. DH thinks we could make a lot of money from having a rental property, I worry that it'll be a hassle, and will tie up 10-20,000 of our own money when we are just getting started in our lives together.
Any thoughts on this? I'm trying to not freak out about the fact that he talked to his family about it before asking me...but that's another issue!
Re: Good idea? buying property with my inlaws?
Why are you trying not to freak out about that? I would be fvcking furious if my H discussed something like that with his family without talking to me first.
Money & family do not mix. It is a BAD BAD BAD idea. I would make crystal clear to your H that there isn't a chance in hell of you getting on board with this idea.
Good luck.
Happy, the best dog ever. ~February 1998 - July 22, 2012
I am "deaf-initely" one of a kind.
Follow me on Pinterest
the reason you are asking is because you already know it is a bad idea!!!
BAD BAD BAD
ITA.
Also, seeing how your DH didn't even consult you in the beginning I wouldn't feel comfortable on how he would handle business and family. Doesn't seem like he is giving you much respect or consideration.
Terrible, terrible idea. TERRIBLE.
I love my family and H's family but I would never buy property with either family.
It's a bad idea. Just say no. And talk to your H about why you two didn't discuss it first, before he talked to his family.
RUN AWAY FROM THIS IDEA AS FAST AS YOU CAN. The pp who said money and family do not mix is SO right.
I, too, am not comfortable mixing family and money, so I would stay away from it on that premise only.
However, what is your husband talking about? How does he expect to make a "lot" of money when it involves three individuals? If I'm reading this correctly, him, dad and sister? Would the received rent be split between 3? And would all expenses be split in thirds?
It's one thing if you and your husband decided to purchase a property or decided to invest in real estate, but this proposed situation isn't about making money. It sounds like you are giving money to your SIL so she can can live in a house. If I'm reading this correctly, she won't have any money to contribute to this purchase?
It's one thing if you all wanted to do this for her, but it's not going to be a profitable investment. There are many other ways to invest your money that will make a quicker return on investment than this situation will garner.
I hope your DH listens and understands your perspective.
Maybe my family is different but I always thought that if you want something big like a house, you work for it, you don't try to saddle family with the cost.
I agree with everyone else. Freak out. Run. Use any and every excuse in the book. But whatever you do, do not put a bunch of cash down and move in with them. You will regret it, and resent your husband for trapping you in this. CurlyQ is right, renters can suck. It is hard to find a good landlord but it is even harder to find good tenants. Think about having to redo the place every few months for new tenants only to have them wreck it worse than the deposit. Save yourself the trouble and stick to the saving for a big place of our own plan.
Check us out
I'm very much on the "don't mix money and family" train. Especially as it applies to my inlaws who have an interesting relationship with money.
I'd like to add in the thought of sharing ownership of a rental property three ways - that is an awful lot of cooks in the kitchen for decisions. To me, the thought of being a landlord is not preferable. But then having to work out every decision with two other family units - don't have the time or the patience.
If you have a good relationship with your in-laws, this is a good way to ruin it. (Sorry for the sarcasm, but I've dealt with this issue myself, but on the other end. MIL & FIL wanted to buy us a house for a property investment, we said no, best decision we could've made).
Don't ignore the fact that your husband didn't talk to you first. That's not cool, and if you don't voice your concerns & let him know how upset you are, he'll keep leaving you out of the loop.
I personally don't think it's a good idea to mix family & business. You guys and the other family members are all expecting to make a profit, but what if everything doesn't turn out the way you planned? I'd say trust your gut, have an honest conversation with your husband, decide what to do together and then talk it out with the family.
No, it's not a good idea. You and your husband have your own lives to worry about, and you're not obligated to help his siblings out just because they want to buy a house NOW. If they don't have the money to do it on their own, they can do what everyone else does and rent for a few years while they save up the money for a downpayment. I don't think it's a good idea to let your relatives know too much about your financial situation, let alone go in on a significant investment together.
Also, being a landlord is a serious responsibility, and it's perfectly understandable if you don't want to commit to something like that, especially for an indefinite time period. My husband and I are renting out our previous home because we couldn't sell it in this market. It hasn't been horrible, but I would rather just wash my hands of the whole thing. I've had to take time off work to go over there and wait for the plumber or the HVAC guy. Our tenant is often late with the rent. Again, it's not the worst experience I've ever had, but sometimes it seems like it's more trouble than it's worth for the $30 we make in profit every month.
ETA: You SHOULD be freaking out over the fact that he didn't talk to you first. HUGE red flag.
Rental properties are a huge pain in the a$$ to someone who cant commit a lot of time to it. My dad/his siblings have 9 homes as rental properties and they are huge money pits. Sure they bought them cheap and will essentially make money off them when they sell them but renters constantly trash these home, dont pay and cause LOTS of problems. In almost every house the renter doesnt pay, then they have to pay $ to go to court and evict them. Then the renter leaves a ton of shi!t that they now have to pay to dispose of and then they have to revamp the home each time. Then spend lots of time taking calls and showing the home to get it rented again. Honestly, they regret investing in this as its a huge headache and very time consuming. And honestly how much money can you really make split between 3 investors? Its unlikely the housing market is balloon so high like it once did. And you really dont make money when you have a renter... you are lucky to get enough to cover the mortgage/taxes/insurance and home repairs.
As for your H planning this initially behind your back... Time to freak out. I sure as he!! would be.
Ditto on Wine's comment. I owned a rental previously and the tenants burned the bathroom door in the fireplace. They broke tile on the kitchen floor. They stapled plastic sheeting across the beautiful, wooden windows. When they moved after having not paid 4 months rent, they left all their garbage throughout the house and yard. And these were people my then-bf knew and was friends with.
Currently, my H and I own a house with my mother and again it's a huge hassle. There are two houses on that property which suited us while we were there - we were in one and my mother in the other. Since we found another place we loved and my mother didn't want to move, we've had to carry the mortgage for the first place and now pay the second. We do rent out the second house on the property but it's not enough to pay the mortgage (as someone already noted) and the tenant, although a nice, tidy person, does not pay rent on time.
I would never, ever do this again. I think it's much harder to do business with people you have a relationship with. I know in my business life I would never accept the terms that I do accept from my family!
I couldn't possibly agree more with all of this. H and I want to buy a house too, but that desire does not fill our bank account so we have to slowly fill it as we go. They need to save up and take care of this on their own, not rely on their family to do it for them.
Didn't ignore him not talking to me about it first, just didn't want to delve into two issues at once here
In his defense, his dad brought it up the week of our wedding and DH had the good sense NOT to talk to me about it then. He should have said something sooner, but I think the poor guy knew he was between a rock and a hard place either way.
I told him point blank that I did not want to do this, and if he still did after my outlining why I thought it was a bad idea then we needed to rethink how we were handling our money as a couple (we each have small, individual checking / savings, and a larger "community" pool for house / couple stuff). We're not doing it, and I think he feels pretty bad for not talking to me sooner, and for even asking in the first place.
Very proud of myself for not yelling at him, and not talking to my parents about it! We figured it out (mostly, except for y'all) by ourselves!