Hudson Valley Nesties
Hello. I've waited here for you. Everlong<3<br>
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
how involved are your parents/il?
i was just curious on how involved are your parents and ils once the baby arrived???
we plan on included my parents/family and ils in alot. it helps because our parents are good friends. where do you draw the line???
Hello. I've waited here for you. Everlong<3<br>
Re: how involved are your parents/il?
My parents are involved but they know their boundaries. I talk to my Mom about 2x a day on the phone... I can't tell you how many times I text/FB my older sister all day long, haha. When LO is born, my family will be over BUT they only live 5 minutes down the road so I don't have to worry about them crowding me.
My MIL is another story. I'm sure she will attempt to stay at our one bedroom apartment but I need my space. She hasn't brought up her plans for when he's born in just a few weeks but I plan on asking her to stay in a hotel (she's retired so she has way too much time on her hands). My FIL and StepMIL aren't too involved so I don't have to worry about them.
Both a lot.
Mom/Dad watches every Friday and keeps him Thursday night to make it easier on her and us. She is very attached. We usually eat there on nights DH is working also and will sleep there together too. He has a room for his pnp and toys since my sister is at school. He has been doing this since he was 4 months when I went back to work.
ILs have him also 1 night a week to be fair (this started when he was 7 months old). MIL watches him 1-2 days a week for us depending on her schedule and DH's schedule.
We now only use a sitter 1x every 2 weeks it seems.
My parents have a lot more baby stuff around and made their house more baby friendly it seems and well they are my parents so I prefer.
At birth my whole family visited- my bro was home for a few days from St. Louis and my sister dropped everything and drove down from school even though she graduated that weekend. I had him Friday night, my parents ran up to Albany Saturday and Sunday for graduation and came home early Sunday. DH's side had a dance recital and stopped in a few times. I was annoyed but tons of his aunt/uncles came. One of the reasons I did choose NWH was because of location of family.
my MIL is totally awesome and actually lived with us 5 days a week while i was working to watch sue, when she lives 45 minutes away. (and i'll admit as awesome as she was this was hard for all of us. for no reason other than who wants to live with a parent when you're in your 30s? one day i flipped out on her for cooking us dinner- like you are not the mom, i am. yeah, it was ridiculous.) nowadays, all i have to do is say i have a headache and she volunteers to drive up here and watch her. she is totally awesome. in addition to taking excellent care of sue, she is more than willing to do anything i say while watching her. i have to say she is the person i feel most comfortable with watching her beside DH or myself, even above my own mother- although i would never admit this to mom. my FIL is a bit of a control freak and i was always worried about how he would be, but he is older so he doesnt see her much and we havent had any problems. but if i ever said i needed a thing he would be here in a minute. all that said, they talk to DH every single day, sometimes more than once a day- this is their way of having control. i dont care about that as long as they dont expect to talk to me. i dont even like to talk to DH that much, lol, kidding of course.
my father has very little involvement. he has lots of 6 kids and lots of grandkids and is busy living his own life. he see's sue about once every 2 or 3 months. it's kind of sad, because he lives closer than any other parent. my mother see's susie about once every 3 weeks. it's funny we were never close prebaby and now she calls all the time. she is good with her but not high on patience sometimes nor as mobile as my MIL so i dont like to leave sue with her for too long. both my parents are the type to say "we'll watch her anytime, just say the word" and when you ask they are generally busy. i guess my IL's have more time cause they are retired but it's frustrating sometimes, b/c the truth is they are closer to my daughter. something i never expected.
My MIL watches D 3 days a week. She is really great with him and he loves being with her.
My parents and my FIL are no longer alive.
my parents are part of everything.
my ILs are whenit's convenient or interesting to them.
MIL and FIL are both deceased so they are not here to be included, which I find sad.
My mom was in the room with me when I gave birth and even held my right leg while i pushed. She still cries that watching her grandson being born was the most amazing thing she's ever seen. I'm so glad she is a big part of things. Last week when i was in the hospital she didn't think twice to take Mj. My stepfather is also a big part of Mj's life but that's also because he is more dad than stepdad to me.
My line is anything that goes against how i'd like MJ to be raised. Yes my mom drives me crazy that I do not have him dressed warm enough.. no mom he did not need a snow suit on when the temp was almost 60... but I shrug it off.
Mom was in the room wth DH and I when A was born. My Mom and Dad love spending time with A, but both work Full time jobs still and so they really only get to see her on weekends. On weekends they usually have a lot going on, but will usually make some time to stop by and see her, or I'll bring her over there house for a few hours if I can. My Mom is sometimes available to babysit on weekends too if I need her too.
MIL takes A every Wednesday so I can get my errands and food shopping done. I also try to make all my appt.s on Wednesdays too. It REALLY helps to have 1 day every week to myself. My "battery recharges" so to speak. She is also available to help out and babysit if they are around but they travel a lot on weekends.
My parents - hardly at all, sadly. They live 2.5 hours away so, we only see them about once a month and sometimes less.
IL's - almost daily (they live 2 blocks from us). MIL watches G two days a week and we have dinner with them those evenings. Then, we see them a few other times during the week. We have a very close relationship and they have rarely crossed any lines. They always call before coming over and respect our boundaries.
Canon 50D, Canon 50mm f/1.4, Tamron 28-75mm f/2.8, Speedlite 430EX II