October 2010 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Morbid, but deaths
Tisha's Tracy Wilson (sp?) post below made me wonder, how many of you have lossed a loved one, coworker, school-mate etc?
Re: Morbid, but deaths
My best friend from high school, who I lost touch with after HS (my boyfriend did not like us hanging out together...ugh...one of many regrets there!), passed away in a car accident (drunk driver) when we were in college. That probably was part of what made me grow up in college. I still keep in touch with his mom and sister. It's one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with in my life.
Also, one of the most well-liked, kind, genuine people in my class committed suicide in HS. That was tough on the entire school (and it was a huge school!).
Chris lost both of his parents at separate times in his life - mom when he was seven, and dad when he was sixteen. I just can't imagine. It's made him such an incredibly strong person.
Megan & Chris
Wow, that's incredible for Chris. I truly can't imagine!
I lost my great gma to old age when I was a Soph. in hs and my dad's-side gpa as a result of Parkinson's also my Soph year of hs. Both were sad, but I weren't entirely close to either. The worst part was seeing my dad cry. The first time I ever saw him cry was at my ggma's services.
Junior year of college was awful. My bro had a DW wedding in October in MX. We were there W-Sun. When I got back to O'Hare and turned on my phone, I had several messages and texts asking if I was okay. I called DH and he broke the news to me that one of our close hs friends had committed suicide. I was on the tram to the Marriot hotel uncontrolably crying. I was at least with my parents though. Alex (the friend) and I had grown apart in college, but I still hung out with him occassionally when at home or visiting friends at his college. The worst part was that it had happened on Thursday and the services that Saturday, so I missed all of the services. A lot of my friends were over the initial shock and I think it was painful for them to talk to me about it. I felt like I was ripping off a scab for them when I brought it up. It took a lot of time to try to understand and just let it be. He was such a great guy!
That Spring another old hs friend, from my freshman year, but DH was close to him continually, made the smart choice to walk home from a bar instead of driving since he'd been drinking...but he was hit by another drunk driver while walking. What are the odds? That too was such a sad and awful story.
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I've lost a lot of people in my life. All of my grandparents, Keith's dad, etc. It sucks. They all died too young.
Missing our little turkey.
Estimated Due Date 11/13/12 | Natural Miscarriage 4/17/12
I only have 1 living grandparent - my grandfather on my dad's side. My mom's dad died when I was really young of cancer, and my grandmother moved in with us after he died. I was 4, I think. She and I were incredibly close, and I was devastated when she passed my freshman year of college. My other grandmother passed away a few years later.
I lost a good friend of mine the summer between freshmen and sophomore year of college. We were supposed to be roommates that fall. We never really got a conclusive answer about what happened, but she was 19 and her heart just stopped. Moving in to what was supposed to have been "our" dorm room that fall was one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Meg- I can't imagine losing my parents, I'm seriously in denial about them ever dying. That must have been awful for Chris.
I only have one grandparent left, my grandpa. I had to fly down to FL to say bye to my grandma when she was dying from colon cancer, and I was in the frikkin hospital room when the nurses asked my other grandma if she wanted to stop all meds, she only had about 6 more months to live.
I lost 2 cousins in 2 separate car accidents (both involving DD).
2 of my friends were killed in car accidents (on 2 separate occasions involving DD).
Another friend of mine shot himself
, and a couple summers ago my friend Kevin died from mixing medications and 2 weeks later another friend of mine also named Kevin (must of been a bad luck name) died in a car accident. Not involving drugs or alcohol.
I don't fvck around when I drive, and there's a damn good reason for it.
Yeah, it's pretty devastating to think about. His sister took care of him until he was old enough to live on his own, so at least he still had someone, but still. It makes me really admire him for getting through that.
And I am also in denial about the same thing!
Megan & Chris
I don't have any of my grandparents left. My Dad's dad died when I was 5 so I wasn't terribly close with him. My other grandfather died when I was 7 or 8. He was diagnosed with cancer and died 13 days later, which was a huge shock for everyone.
This isn't death related but my sister was in a horrible car accident when I was 13 and has had to have massive facial reconstructive surgery, but at least she lived (she was a passenger). 6 months later, my grandmother was riding with one of her friends who drove her around town (she never had her license) and her friend forgot which pedal was the break and ran a stop sign. My grandmother passed away a day later from her injuries. My family doesn't seem to do well when we aren't in the driver's seat.
Right after I graduated college, a friend who was rooming with one of my really really good friends lost his fight with depression and hanged himself in the bathroom while she was home. The guy I went on my first date with in HS was shot in the head in a home burglary about 3 months before our wedding, which was a total shock.
On a slightly less morbid note, I have had a ridiculous number of friend (~10) who were hit by cars in their lifetime and survived. My cousin broke her jaw and has a titanium cheekbone from being hit by a car when she was a teenager (ironically the mirror image to my sister's injuries).
I've lost quite a few...
Very close friend of the family (like an older sister) to suicide when I was 15. That one really shook my world up.
College friend fell down a canyon after a party he hosted at his house, was found brain-dead the next morning. I felt so badly for his fianc?e; he was amazing and so loveable, and only 23.
Several classmates (cystic fibrosis, car accidents and suicide) over the years...
And most recently, a good friend of the family on Thursday due to cancer that metastasized to the brain and bone, who was in her 50's.
3 out of my 4 grandparents have died. My Mom?s Dad and my Dad?s Mom both died when I was in 5th grade, one from cancer (he was 82) and one of a stroke (she was 78). My Dad?s Dad, who I was closet to, died when I was in 9th grade from a heart attack (he was 82). I wasn?t extremely close to any of them though; of course I was sad, but moved on pretty quickly from it. A neighbor I grew up with, my Mom was actually in the delivery room when he was born, drowned in a river after a big storm; he was only 15. The next door neighbor at my Dad?s house, where I lived for 5 years, hung himself from the deck right outside my bedroom while I was sleeping. He was a really nice guy, but his wife and 2 little kids had just left him and moved to Canada, so we knew he was depressed. We often saw members of his church going in and out of his house. I wish I would have made more of an effort to talk to him when I saw him in passing. We?d have conversations if we were both outside, but I never went the extra step and feel bad about that. Although I?ve lost people, I feel that I?ve been very lucky because I haven?t lost anyone I was extremely close to. Jason really hasn?t lost anyone in his life other than distant relatives; he was raised by his grandparents though who are in their late 70s and I am so worried about how he?ll handle their deaths when the time comes. I, like many of you, cannot even think about my parents passing away.
On a happier note, my grandmom will be celebrating her 90th birthday on April 24th! I?m pretty sure she?s going to out live us all. We had her a big surprise party for her 87th birthday because we honestly thought it was going to be her last one, but nope, she?s still kicking right along lol.
Family. Lost my grandmother about a month after my 12th birthday. Lost my greatgrandfather at 17. Lost my mom-mom this past September. Lost my greatgrandmother March 13th.
Classmates. In the winter a classmate ODd and her viewing was awful because we were all kids there in line and it was just way too sad. Lost another classmate about a year and half ago but he was sick since birth and was apparently struggling towards the end.
Co-workers. This bothers me. In my last job, there was the clown of the office that could make everyone laugh. He's the guy the makes the borderline perv jokes, but he's so harmless you actually laugh as if your best friend said it. I got super close to him because our offices were right next to each other. One night I was working late and I saw him walk by my office so many times with boxes and taking them outside to the dumpster. It was towards the end of the year so I assumed it was just fourth quarter clean up. I can still picture him walking by me. Anyway. The next day (Dec 12), around lunch time, my manager came over and was totally red-faced and hungup his cell and said "please go to the large conference room immediately and tell anyone you see on the way there to go there immediately". I went, and rounded up a few people in my fluster. My entire agency crammed in the room and everyone was silent. Both my managing directors came in, shut the doors and both were visiable shook up. They announced that F had just commited suicide in a hotel. They said he did it that morning after he called his wife to tell her. He left notes to his two little kids (like 10 and 14 at the time) and his wife. He emailed a few of the advisors and one of the managing directors. We all attended his viewing and we did a memorial run in the spring for him. It still haunts me that I didn't ask him if everything was ok that night, as I somehow think maybe I could have stopped him. It sucks.
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Family: My Mom's dad died when she was 16, my great grandparents on my mom's side all died from the time I was 8-11, one every year and all from lung cancer and emphazema (sp?). My great grandpa was the hardest on me, they wintered in FL and we would go visit every year, I remember my mom telling my 2nd grade teacher that we would be gone for almost 2 weeks because my great grandpa was sick. We spent the whole time in the hospital and when we came back my teacher yelled at me because we were gone longer than she was told and now I was way behind in my work. The dr's thought that grandpa was healthy enough to be flown home and he died about 20 min before they landed. I was crushed, at the funeral they had to drag me out of the private family viewing because I refused to leave. I have both of my dad's parents and my mom's mom still alive.
Friends/classmates: Jake died when we were 19, it was 6 years ago on March 5th, he had been battling cancer since we were 14, he was the nicest kid I have ever met and did so much for the community, truly an amazing person. My sisters best friend died from cancer a few months later at 14. That May a friend of mine shot himself in the head after he got into drugs and he had drug dealers threatening to kill him and his family because he owed them money. Since then I have had 2 classmates OD, I think both from heroin.
I hate cancer, it sucks.
Family: both grandfathers have passed away, one from cancer and one from a heart attack while I was living with him. I was at work when he went to the hospital and he passed away there...took me a while to forgive myself for that. My grandmother on my dad's side died 5 years ago, but it still feels like yesterday. She had a stroke and no one in our family knows how long she was lying on her kitchen floor, unable to help herself, before my dad came to visit and didn't feel right about her not answering the door, broke into the house and found her. She passed away in the hospital 3 days later.
One of my cousins, ironically, died in very much the same way as my grandma, except that she collapsed in the bathroom at her job and passed away later that day at the hospital. She was 34 years old when she died, and had been a Type I diabetic all her life. She had had a kidney transplant and lost 3 of her toes, but it was a stroke that took her in the end.
Another cousin lost her baby at full-term delivery because the medical staff didn't take her seriously when she said she thought something was wrong with the baby because she was having extreme pelvic pain. The doctors told her it was normal for young moms during childbirth (she was 17), and didn't bother to follow up. Her baby's head was too large to fit through her pelvis, and the little girl suffocated before they did anything about it. They had to break my cousin's pelvis to remove her already-dead daughter. Yeah, there was definitely a lawsuit.
Friends: I lost a number of classmates to various illnesses and accidents over the years: a girl who died from cancer in 8th grade, another from cystic fibrosis junior year, and a third girl who jumped from a moving car on the highway during a fight with her boyfriend. Her head hit the pavement and shattered her skull.
But there are 2 that stand out: one was a kid who was the "good kid" in a really bad family. He was a gun collector, and he was downstairs cleaning one of his guns when cops showed up at his house to arrest his brother. He came upstairs with the gun in his hand and the cop shot him, thinking it was loaded. The sad part was, the gun wasn't even in working condition. He was 15 years old.
The other was a kid I didn't know well, but his death rocked the whole school. We have a vocational/technical school program in our district, where kids who want to get a jump on learning a trade can be bussed to another school in the area 2-3 times a week to study whatever they're wanting to learn. He was on the bus coming home from that program when the bus was hit by a truck carrying concrete beams. One of the beams came loose and went through the window next to his head. It broke his neck and he died on impact, 4 days before his 18th birthday.
A girl I grew up with lost her 17-year-old son in a freak car accident on his way to the local mall with his girlfriend to shop for her prom dress. For no apparent reason, his girlfriend lost control of her car, and it flipped over the guard cables, landing on the opposite side of the highway loop in the path of oncoming traffic. No one else was seriously injured, but Tanner was killed. This was one of the saddest things I've ever heard about. His girlfriend is still having a hard time coping with it 2 years later.
My dad's best friend died in the early 90s from cystic fibrosis at 42. At the time, he was the oldest living man in the US with the disease, and...get this...a 2-time marathon runner. There's a marathon in his honor here in our hometown every year now.
Coworkers: We had 2 coworkers at one of my old jobs pass away within months of one another. One was the founder of the company. He was a hobby pilot, and his plane malfunctioned and crashed, killing him and one passenger.
The other was "that guy" in the office that everyone loved. You never saw him without a smile, and he was always helpful and so kind and friendly. He was dating one of the other girls in the office and he was headed home from her house when another car went into his lane and clipped his front bumper, sending him spinning across 2 lanes of traffic and coming to rest in a ditch, upside down. He died from a severely lacerated liver that went toxic before a donor match could be found for a transplant. He had lost his 18-year-old son the previous year from complications of cerebral palsy, and everyone said he went to be with him. It was incredibly sad to lose him so quickly like that.
I lost 2 great great friends & 1 of their moms in 2 winter car accidents 6 days apart 3 years ago. (Can't believe it's been so long).
I don't want to talk to much about it, & it all is a long & ironic story. But it still hurts me all the time.
I lost four people all on one day, and found out about their deaths one at a time over the past three weeks: one friend, two junior high school students I taught, and one coworker. I went to see a grief counsellor on Friday, and feel a lot better now.
Before this, I lost my paternal grandmother when I was 3 (so I don't remember), a friend in elementary school, and my maternal grandfather when I was 13. I wasn't close to either of my grandparents though. A few acquaintances commit suicide or died tragically in high school, but I wasn't close to them either.
< hug > so sorry for your losses. That's a horrible thing to go through.
*sigh*
I had a group of friends.....one of them lost her grandmother....there was this big falling out....she turned to drugs.....kicked us all out of her life. brought me back time and time again, kicking me out at the end of each summer before i went back to school one year telling her parents i brought acid into their home when they found it, another year blaming me for other things, weaving our friend nicole into the equation. in 2005 I said enough is enough....nicole went behind my back and started spending time with her....and started trying to pull me back in....I ended up giving an ultimatum to nicole.....(note this whole thing is way worse than i've put down here....I just dont have the strength nor the time to really tell you all about it)
Nicole picked Liz...(her name was always beth, but when her grandmother died and she went crazy she changed it to liz) Nicole moved to worcester, drank, took weight loss pills, drank energy drinks with her adderol, lost insane amounts of weight and finally passed away in her sleep Memorial day weekend 2008. Its never come out why she died....
It took a LONG time for me to eventually be ok....im still not totally....i gave an ultimatum to someone who i was very close to at the time...walked away...and they died.....with out knowing that i wasnt mad at them.....
Getting fit for IVF!