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Moms - biting (long)
So another kid in G's daycare bit her the other day (a 2.5 year old boy). At first I was like, well kids bite and they are going to get bitten and it sucks that he bit my 1 year old out of all the kids there, but whatever. But it bruised really bad and became apparent the he must have bitten her pretty hard. My provider feels horrible and put measures in place so Gianna isn't near the boy when she isn't right there to supervise.
The next day the boy bit one of my provider's kids as well. So my provider talked to the mother and I guess the mother was going to talk to the little boy and they were supposed to work out some plan.
Fast forward to this morning, I drop Gianna off and sit her on the ground and I turn around to grab her lunch bag out of her bag and she starts screaming and that little boy is there kind of pushing her away - I think that little turd bit her again because she might have tried to play with the puzzle he was playing with!
Now I'm mad and worried at the same time. It was all I could do not to like react towards this little boy, but I know he's not my child and it's not my place to discipline him so I didn't do or say anything besides comfort my child. If it was my child doing the biting I'd feel horrified and would have called the parent personally to apologize and explain steps we are taking to prevent it at the first occurence. DH is now at the point to where if she gets bitten again he wants to look into moving her to another daycare and that really saddens me - I LOVE my daycare provider and the environment and it sucks that one child is going to ruin the experience. My provider just feels awful about the whole thing - you can tell - and I feel like she's stuck in a rough place as well.
I mean I know its partially my fault today - next time I won't put her down anywhere near that child, but seriously, shouldn't something more be done to the biting child? Luckily he hasn't broken her skin or anyone elses yet, but what happens when he does? Is G going to learn that biting is how she gets her way? What should I do? What would you do in this situation?
I'm going back and forth between am I over reacting and this is going to happen to am I under-reacting and more action needs to be taken? I don't feel like Gianna should have to be isolated away from the toys and other kids anytime my provider needs to be a few feet away (like getting snack ready or changing another child's diapers or something) because another child can't control themselves - that doesn't seem fair to her - but maybe I'm overreacting.
I need some perspectives.
Re: Moms - biting (long)
biting is normal. I'm not trying to negate your feelings at all, that being said...
you should never have been informed who bit her, that is completely against health, safety & privacy regulations. You absolutely should have been informed of the bite and what was done to care for it though (washed, iced, hugs & love, etc).
The mother could be working with her child at home, or it could be a non-issue at home so she doesn't deal with it. It's not your or your providers place to tell her how to raise/discipline her child, but it is your providers job to keep all the children safe. Since biting is a normal behavior, she should be doing something will all the kids to teach that biting isn't an acceptable behavior. Yes they're all young and won't get it right away, but hearing it often, they start to learn other ways to express themselves - even when frustrated.
Since you saw the bite this morning, something should have been said to the provider, and immediately to the child, you could have said something along the lines of "it really hurts Gianna when you bite her. Please don't bite again" or "we bite food, not friends" and let the provider deal with the rest. I know your focus was on your child and that's 100% understandable, but it's one of those situations where you have to protect & comfort at the same time.
More often than not with bites, you can't see it happen so telling a child minutes/hours after the fact (when the average 2 yo only has a 2.5minute attention span) is moot.
again, I'm not trying to negate your anger, frustration and sadness that your child was hurt. It sucks. It sucks for your dcp, the biter and the biters mother too. I'm sorry she was bitten and I hope this little boy is out of the biting phase soon.
Just so you don't feel like you found out something you shouldn't, the provider didn't violate any rules/regulations in telling you who bit your child. You do have the right to know. (Unless I have missed something). I have handled some of these situations when they become legal actions, and the parents have always been informed of all parties involved. In any event, good luck, hopefully the biter learns other ways to communicate!
Ditto Kelly & Sarah. It sucks, but right now it is probably how that little boy is communicating. I would not change daycares over this.
DS got bitten at daycare. They gave us a little piece of paper telling us about it, and also told us in person when he was picked up. They do not say who the biter was; and, they do not tell the parents of the biter who he/she bit. A few months later, DS bit someone at daycare. I will assure you that the parents of the biter probably feel HORRIBLE about what happened. I know that I did. I was shocked. But, it is a normal stage of toddlers and hopefully the little guy will get over it soon.
Thanks ladies - I completely understand it's normal behavior, which is why I didn't really think it was a big deal and didn't want to over react - I fully imagine one of these days she'll be the biter and we'll be on the flip side of this.
Hopefully he gets over this soon.