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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Eating meat at the in-laws?
Ok-I do not by any means consider myself a vegetarian. I probably eat meat on average once a month, and don't really mind eating fish. When I do eat meat, I only eat meat that I buy myself from out local farm. I also eat if I am a guest at someones house.There are two reasons I avoid eating meat: 1. I cannot stand the horrific ecological footprint and inhumane practices of standard meat packing companies, and2. I don't think there is any reason why modern humans eat SO MUCH meat, when we could easily substitute healthier protein and be able to sustain our growing population more efficiently.Now, while our new place is being constructed, DH and I are staying at his parents' for about a month. I love my mother-in-law very much, but she's a fantastic cook (and type A personality) and gets very flustered by anyone with special diet requests. I plan on making my own food the majority of the time, but there are obviously going to be a lot of occasions where we all eat together. DH actually eats the same way I do, but his mom stresses him out so much he begs me just to PLEASE eat whatever she makes and not argue. Needless to say, neither of us want to cause any fights by telling her the way we eat when were on our own. Just trust me-it's not worth the fight. I don't know that there's any way around this, but thanks for listening to me whine....on my way to go eat dinner (brats) and feel sick to my stomach the entire time 
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Re: Eating meat at the in-laws?
I would stay in an extended-stay hotel for a month before I lived with my ILs and ate what they ate.
ETA: H and I feel the same about meat as you do, so we rarely eat meat as well. If I went back to eating meat on a regular basis I'm pretty sure my body would hate me. Is there a reason that you two can't stay elsewhere for the month? This food situation would not be worth it to me for the money saved.
You are an adult, married woman. You are no longer a child that has to clear her plate to make an adult feel 'good'. I see nothing wrong with "I'm changing my eating habits, and I certainly don't expect you to follow my new lifestyle, so I'll continue to cook what I feel comfortable with and we can all share and have dinner together. I appreciate all the wonderful effort and time you put into our meals"
You don't have to try to educate her about why you avoid meat, etc. It's probably going to make her defensive regardless, so you might as well keep it short and sweet, "my meals are a personal choice and I'd love to sit down and have dinner with you all, even if we eat different meals". I do understand where you're coming from- I'm a mostly raw, mostly vegan eater and I married into a meat/Atkins mid-western family- instead of compromising my own values, I gently explained to my ILs that this was the diet that made ME feel best, no judgement, and they actually ask me to cook (or uncook) for them now.
Why not be proud about your dietary changes, instead of try to hide them? You don't have to preach it to others, you just have to be truthful to yourself.
I'd frankly be more concerned that YH wants you to eat whatever she makes just to please her.
I agree with everything apples said.
I am the only vegetarian in my family and the IL's family, including extended family. I also have some food sensitivities and soy and cheese cause havoc with my body. Whenever we go somewhere, I bring something I feel comfortable eating. I don't lecture or push my values on anyone. If they ask questions, I answer and leave it at that. And yeah, I catch hell for sometimes so I get how you feel.
I would be furious if my DH ever asked me to compromise my values because he was too afraid of his mother - or anyone for that matter - to stand up for me or let me to stand up for myself. It would absolutely not happen. Period. If you guys are too afraid to deal with something as trivial as food with the IL's, how are you ever going to deal with them on bigger issues that will inevitably come up? I don't mean to be harsh but if you don't deal with it now, it will only get harder as the years go by.
Tired after a long morning of hiking and swimming.
DH & I are the same about meat. Despite telling my family they are still clueless. I find the best thing is to just offer to bring a vegetarian main dish or substantial side and not make a big deal about it. Sometimes, even if I don't say anything, OTHERS make a big deal about it, so I know the predicament you are in. I just try to deflect the topic. I focus on what I can eat that is tasty ("mmm, fabulous green beans) rand try to stay away from talking about what we're not eating. No matter how polite you are, it seems to make others feel bad about their choices.
As for DH, he's on his own. He's grown and if he chooses to eat or not eat a certain item, that's up to him.
Eh. I see both sides.
I get migraines and have food sensitivities. Luckily MH just told my IL's--"Hey, these are the things FMLB eats and doesn't eat..." and they are so sweet. They ask me all the time if the things they have made are okay or not. They live in a much smaller, more rural place than we do and so..sometimes our food comes directly from their garden (a lot of times) OR sometimes it comes from WalMart..and I realize it's a compromise. They are doing their best. Unless it's an ingredient that is literally going to make me ill, I realize that it's only for a short time.
A month--in the grand scheme of your life isn't that long of a time, and there might be some opportunities for you to go and shop with your MIL and even just gently say, "Hey, I've really enjoyed *this* I'd love to prepare it for you, after all you have done for us." Even if you do this..say once or twice in this next month, that will be a small change.
Ugh, that is not a fun situation, I'm sorry! How about you buy the meat for all the meals from a local farm? Yes, you'll be eating meat more often than you would like, but at least you'll know it was raised humanely. My Farmer's Market has brats, we just had some a few days ago. You could explain it to MIL more like "I really appreciate you taking us in, so I'd like to contribute to your wonderful meals" rather than "the meat you buy makes me
." You could also help her meal plan, and sneak in vegetarian entrees. Like put "enchiladas" on the menu, and Surprise! They're made with beans instead of meat.
I think you are overthinking this.
You are going to be living with them for just a month, and have said you plan on making your own food most of the time. So we are talking about, what, a dozen or so dinners over the course of a month?
If you offer to cook a few of them, you are down to under 10. This isn't a long term thing.
If saying no stresses you out, then just take tiny portions. Just tell MIL that you are cutting meat out for a variety of reasons, but want to try a bite, because she's such a good cook. Leave it at that. Hopefully that will encourage her not to prepare a full portion for you, but if you aren't generally opposed to eating meat when a guest at someone's house, I don't see how you'd be compromising your values by taking a bite or two of meat twice a week for a month.
If your husband wants to eat what his mother has prepared, who cares? He's an adult. That said, I don't think he should be pressuring you to eat it, so long you aren't rude about it.