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Eliana's Birth Story (long)
Hello,
I wanted to get this written down before I forgot it! Obviously, our story is a bit different from the adoptive parent side, but I am so grateful for the relationship we had with our birth mother, as it allowed us to be very active participants in Eliana's birth.
Our birth mother was scheduled for induction on Tuesday March 29th, at 7:00am. Prior to Tuesday her attorney had sent in a letter informing the hospital of an adoption plan as well as a medical release so hospital staff could inform DH & I of medical information, etc (this becomes important later). We all showed up at Paradise Valley hospital together at 7:00am.
Our main L&D nurse was...abrupt (that's putting it nicely). She understood the birth mothers requests but was very resistant to them. For example, our birth mother did not want to see or hear Eliana after delivery. The L&D nurse said this was almost impossible as she would have to be in the delivery room for 5-10 minutes afterwards for evaluation. Upon hearing this, I immediately called the lawyer (she had informed us that not all nurses are adoption friendly, and it really just takes one to make an experience much more difficult). Our attorney called the hospital social worker who was WONDERFUL. She came up straight away and spoke with the nurse and they devised a much better plan. Basically, after Eliana was born, the doctor cut her cord, handed her to a nursery nurse in the delivery room, who immediately brought her into the room next door, where Aaron and I were, and did all evaluations there.
After our birthmother had her epidural, labor was very smooth. She honestly napped through most of her labor, waking up here and there, but was very relaxed and calm. Around 4:30pm the nurse woke her up as she was fully dilated, effaced, and she only had to insert her fingertip to feel the babies head- it was time to push. She started pushing around 5:00, which is when Aaron and I moved into the room next door to await our baby. We sat there watching the fetal heart rate/contraction monitor on the screen in our room, and it was like a ripple effect- we saw the heart rate flat line (so she was out), heard her cry, and instantly she was in our room with us. The nursery nurses were FANTASTIC. They allowed us to play active roles, be with her, take photo's of her, and just really were so kind to us. After they finished her assessments, we got to hold her/give her a bottle and just be with her for about an hour before I headed to the nursery with her, and Aaron to our room to wait while she was bathed/warmed/etc.
I wish I could say that our hospital experience was amazing. Truthfully, at times it was. Our overnight/grave yard nurse was FANTASTIC. She truly made us so welcome and treated us as I assume she would any other parent. Aaron didn't have a hospital band for the baby (you only get 2, and one HAS to go on the person she came out of no matter what) so he technically couldn't be alone with the baby, but our night nurse never cared- if I ran down to see the birth mother or what not she would just let Aaron be with her.
Unfortunately, we had a few nurses who were just plain rude to us. I understand that they are a patient advocate, and have probably seen adoptive parents railroad birth mothers for their babies- but that's not everyone. They all had copies of her adoption plan/letters from her attorney's/and her words when we weren't there all stating that she was positive in her adoption plan- but for some that wasn't enough. They were rude to us, taking the baby and not allowing us to go (at first, until they met Mama Jenn), not being forthcoming with information, telling us bluntly we weren't her parents, etc.
We ended up HAVING to stay for the full 48 hours because Eliana's birth mother was strep B positive (so they run babies cultures for a full 48 hours to make sure they're clear) and because Eliana was Coombs positive (she has a different blood type then her birth mother, and their blood mixed). However, I am happy to say that she is a happy, healthy baby, and just as sweet as can be!
She was born at 5:36pm, at 6lb's 15oz. At 24 hours after birth she weighed 6lb's, 11oz, and this is what she weighed at her well baby Saturday as well (they wanted to check her on day 4/5 to make sure she wasn't jaundice).
Regardless of our hospital experience, it was all 100% worth it, she's absolutely beautiful and even though she's only 6 days old, I couldn't imagine my life without her!
Re: Eliana's Birth Story (long)
Thank you for sharing your story with us Jenn. I am sorry to hear that some fo the nurses were not kind to you and Aaron. But like you said at the end of it you have a beautiful baby girl who is healthy and happy and in a home that is so filled with love for her! Congrats again! I have very happy for you and your family.
ETA: I meant to put this the first time around, I love her name it is beautiful and I think from the pictures you have shared so far fits her prefectly!
You know how I feel about you and your little one. Now I understand that text message you sent too. Glad you ended up with some amazing nurses and your experience was great and I hope they treated the birth mother just the same. She is sooo cute and I can?t wait to meet her. Congrats again Jenn and Aaron!
Click Me
Thanks for sharing, Jenn!
She is absolutely perfect, and I am over the moon happy for you guys!
congrats on your beautiful daughter! I'm glad you ended up having a positive experience despite the couple of rude nurses you endured.
Love the name you chose BTW.
<a href="http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y126/wayfastwhitegirl/?action=view
Congrats on mommyhood!
m/c 12/25/09 (5w5d) mm/c D&C 4/9/10 (11w1d) Take home baby 2/22/11
My boobies belong to cour10e