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How to Survive Family Reunion!? (long rant)
Ok.. So we said we'd go to FIL's family reunion. I was totally on board & happy to meet the family members I haven't met yet, plus it's held in a place I haven't been before, so what the heck? It's only for one weekend, how bad could it be?
Well, the more I find out about this shendig, the more I regret saying yes to going. At this point, I'm daydreaming about inducing illnesses to get out of going, sneaking bottles of wine into my luggage to get though it, etc. lol.
Let's see. First, I planned on booking our hotel/flights ahead of time & DH and I had no problem footing the bill, but MIL & FIL insisted on paying for all of it. After some research, I figured out that this town has a total of 2 small motels and is a 3 hour drive from the [tiny] airport. In-laws were taking care of everything, so I relaxed & left it up to them. HUGE mistake.
MIL booked our flights so that we arrive at the earliest possible time on the Friday and the latest possible time on the Monday, causing DH to miss half of his classes at school Friday and half the day Monday. He's in med school, and he's never missed class before. Ever. Also, I found out that my grandmother-in-law booked the hotels for us, and there aren't enough rooms. She booked 4 rooms for 15 people. And now, all the rooms in the entire town are booked and already booking 2 towns over, so we have no options. Her plan is for all the girls stay in the rooms and the boys stay in someone's camper. There are 8 women/girls and 7 guys. First of all, I don't know any of these people and the ONLY reason I'm spending my 4th of July weekend flying to the middle of nowhere to play card games with strangers is that I'm married to this guy. I should at least get to sleep in the same room as him. Second of all, I can't imagine anyone else being happy about this room situation because 7 guys will be cramped in a camper while the women will be 2 to a room and stuck taking care of the kids by themselves.
It just pisses me off because I could have booked our flights and rooms a long time ago and they insisted on "helping" us, and all they've done is make this weekend more inconvenient & uncomfortable than it needed to be. Now I have to either be the *** who complains about everything, or get stuck with a grumpy husband and a room with my overbearing MIL. Help!
Re: How to Survive Family Reunion!? (long rant)
There must be some hotel options less than three hours away. I'm sure you're resourceful - - do a little research find something maybe 45 minutes away. That's close enough for the trip, far enough that you can leave as an "excuse." Also, you can thank grandma for booking the rooms anyway, b/c you can use the facilities (bath, pool) while you are there. I would not stay with "the girls." Married couples shouldn't be expected to sleep apart, esp. with strangers.
If your H is that concerned about missing class, find out if you can re-book your airfare, and pay your ILS the switch fee. You'll still come out ahead (probably). Let your H tell them he can't miss school (what kind of parents would book flights so that their kid could miss a few days of MED school?)
And, consider this a lesson learned - - don't allow your ILS to "help" you anymore.
Everything Wahoo said.
OR....
You can just go with it, think of it as an adventurous experience, and come back and fill us in on every crazy detail!!!!!
But honestly you never know - for as F'd up as the situation may sound to you right now, you just might hit it off really well with those women and have a great time bonding with them. (I'm trying to be positive for you, LOL)
But I'm another one with a big question mark over my head as to why they purposely booked a flight for their son to miss 2 days of med school classes.... ???
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I wouldn't be going, I'd just be telling H that he can go without me.
I'd also be giving H the side eye for not speaking up to his parents about any of the planning. I feel like he could have said something to his parents about the fact that he cannot miss classes on the Monday and HAS to be back on Sunday instead (or whatever the case is)
I would just deal with it, suck it up and try to make the best of things. Who knows, you might have fun. But bring along a book and an iPod so you can have some private time if need be. (Silly as it sounds, I might also bring along a small blanket and pillow if you can, because I've been stuck without them in similar situations and it just adds to the crankiness. ETA: the other poster's suggestion of an air mattress is also good. MH and I have a queen from Target that was $20 and it's quite comfortable.)
If it's really a hardship for your husband to miss school, ditto the PPs who said to rebook the flight and pay your in-laws back. And look around for another hotel or B&B while you're at it. Ask the Nest local board for that location if they know of a place to stay, and also try Yelp.com and TripAdvisor.com.
And take it as a lesson for next time - "Thanks so much for the offer, but we'll arrange for our own travel and accommodations."
Ideas:
1) Insist on making the plane changes so your DH does not miss class. By not doing so, creates a precedent that his Parents do not have to take your schedules into account. By doing so creates the precedent that you two are adults who can calmly fix issues like this.
2) This allows you to have your own car. From personal experiences, I will never ever visit family (mine included) without free access to my own vehicle PEIRIOD.
3) Look for a Bed and Breakfast. You will probably find a handful of them.
4) If all else fails, bring your own blow-up mattresses, blanket and pillow. Coleman sells battery run blow up SINGLE mattresses for about $35. That way, you can have your own bedspace at night if necessary.
5) Drink. A lot.
LOL that's just nuts!! i dont blame you for wanting to skip it.
do a search for hotels within the area-there are generally ones near airports. rent a car and just deal for the weekend. when you get into bed at night, with only you and dh you'l be SO much happier than having him in a camper (WTF?!) and you in a room wtih 8 strangers. that's another question-there's 2 beds ina room. that's 4 people. where are the other 4 sleeping? get your own room now.
As far as H missing classes, his mom kept bugging him asking when he'd be in class, but he hadn't gotten his schedule yet. She went ahead and booked the flights anyway without giving him time to get his schedule in. Since it's 4th of July weekend, he is off of school on the Monday, so he's really only missing half of his classes on Friday & that's it. However, the guy is glued to his books from the time he gets home until we go to bed. He studies A LOT and this is going to cut into his studying, which is his main concern. But if he doesn't care enough to speak up to his mom, I'm not going to take on that battle for him. Whatever. lol.
We are having dinner with MIL tonight, so if the reunion comes up, I'm going to just go for it & ask if H can be in whatever room I'm in. If it's just me & SIL and a cousin in a room, for example, H can join in & not inconvenience anyone. It's 2 double beds to a room, 4 rooms for 8 girls.... so that means we all have a bed to ourselves anyway, there's no harm in my husband sleeping in my bed with me. I just don't know how in the f'ing world that idea popped into my GMIL's brain. It's really crazy to expect all the married couples to be apart (and for 7 guys to stay in a damn camper...) If they say no for some reason, we'll just get a room 2 towns over & although they'll be pissed, I can at least say I tried to compromise.
I do like the air mattress idea! Maybe I'll pack one just in case.
FYI: I am not expecting any sympathy from my MIL. She and FIL have spent 6 or 7 nights together since January. He works offshore & is NEVER home. And when he is, they don't sleep in the same room anyway because he snores. Apparently we're the only couple in this reunion who still like each other enough to want to be in the same room! lol
And I will be packing at least 2 bottles of wine with me.
How are you planning on phrasing this question? No way should you be asking his mother's permission to sleep in the same bed together, as you are a married couple. If you have already decided as a couple that you will be sleeping together as a couple, you don't have to ask MIL or GMIL anything. If the topic comes up, I think that your H should politely inform her that the the pre-set sleeping arrangements will not work for the two of you, and if you can't share a bed at that hotel, you will be booking a room elsewhere.
This. Just get two Queen beds.