Tipping S/O

jen812

And a little more complaining.  Sorry.

After the wake Friday night, DH & I along with 2 of my cousins & their SOs went to get dinner.  Each couple paid for their own bill.  DH paid cash, while my 2 cousins paid their share with CCs.  The total bill came out to over $100.  Both of my cousins left a $4 tip.  DH was grumbling b/c he had to leave more than our share in order for the waitress to have a decent tip.

Have you been in this situation before?  Would you have said something to your cousin's or do what my DH did?

jjswife08

I would have said something but that is because I'm VERY vocal about tipping.  I spent many years waiting tables and bartending and know they deserve their tips.  I have said something many times to people about the tip they leave if I feel it is unfair for the service received. 

ChangeOfPace

Yes, we are in this position almost every time we go out to eat with DH's father or grandfather.  We've never said anything to them.  It's tough because they usually insist on treating so it's hard to bring it up without sounding greedy, kwim?  We just wait until they leave the table and drop more money down.  I'm kind of non-confrontational and it's highly unlikely that either of them are going to change their habits at the age they are.  If it was my cousin I may say something, but maybe not.  Honestly, since you had split the bills, I wouldn't stress about it too much.  The waitress knows who the cheapazzes at the table were.

2008PelicanBride

You are right, by that age saying something is pointless. 

When ever someone insists on treating us to dinner we always try to pay the tip.  So maybe next time you could suggest that & then you don't have to be sneaky about it.

ChangeOfPace:

Yes, we are in this position almost every time we go out to eat with DH's father or grandfather.  We've never said anything to them.  It's tough because they usually insist on treating so it's hard to bring it up without sounding greedy, kwim?  We just wait until they leave the table and drop more money down.  I'm kind of non-confrontational and it's highly unlikely that either of them are going to change their habits at the age they are.  If it was my cousin I may say something, but maybe not.  Honestly, since you had split the bills, I wouldn't stress about it too much.  The waitress knows who the cheapazzes at the table were.

2008PelicanBride

If it were my cousin, who was my age, I might say something, but I'm really not sure cause IDK how I would say it....

But that is pretty funny/sad!  At least your DH did the right thing!

ChangeOfPace

2008PelicanBride:

You are right, by that age saying something is pointless. 

When ever someone insists on treating us to dinner we always try to pay the tip.  So maybe next time you could suggest that & then you don't have to be sneaky about it.

We usually do that, but it doesn't work at DH's grandfather's favorite restaurant- The Golden Corral- because you pay on the way in.  I think he thinks you don't have to tip the waitresses there.  We always just hang back a minute after he's gone a leave some money.

MrsMEW

ChangeOfPace:

Yes, we are in this position almost every time we go out to eat with DH's father or grandfather.  We've never said anything to them.  It's tough because they usually insist on treating so it's hard to bring it up without sounding greedy, kwim?  We just wait until they leave the table and drop more money down.  I'm kind of non-confrontational and it's highly unlikely that either of them are going to change their habits at the age they are.  If it was my cousin I may say something, but maybe not.  Honestly, since you had split the bills, I wouldn't stress about it too much.  The waitress knows who the cheapazzes at the table were.

I have been in this situation with my FIL several times (not only is he a bad tipper, he and his wife often get rather drunk and are rude to waitstaff - all around a good time). As a former server/bartender, I cringe at the way he speaks to servers and at the tips he leaves. We usually just let them head off from the table and then throw down more money for the tip.

However, if it were my cousin, someone my own age, and/or someone I felt comfortable with, I might just say something like "hey, would you guys mind throwing in just a couple more bucks for the tip? We're coming up a little short" or some such thing. 

2008PelicanBride

You've gotta love old people

ChangeOfPace:

2008PelicanBride:

You are right, by that age saying something is pointless. 

When ever someone insists on treating us to dinner we always try to pay the tip.  So maybe next time you could suggest that & then you don't have to be sneaky about it.

We usually do that, but it doesn't work at DH's grandfather's favorite restaurant- The Golden Corral- because you pay on the way in.  I think he thinks you don't have to tip the waitresses there.  We always just hang back a minute after he's gone a leave some money.