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dad broke hip 8 days before wedding!

Need help/ suggestions on how to have a father/daughter dance.  My dad broke is hip 8 days before the wedding (im getting married on 4/16/11)... I'm his only child and he is my only dad; my mother is disabled and isn't capable of replacing my father.  Obviously I can't sit on his lap bc I will do more harm than good.  He is already heartbroken enough that he can't "walk" me down the aisle; he is having to be pushed in a wheel chair so getting rid of the dance is NOT an option.  I have heard suggestions of getting another wheel chair so we are both in wheel chairs for the dance and others have suggested me holding his hands and swaying back and forth with the chair... suggestions, comments, any other ideas???
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Re: dad broke hip 8 days before wedding!

  • Suggestions:

    Maybe you can do a video slide show of pictures of you and your dad -- I am sure nobody will mind "another" slide show -- this will be in lieu of a dance.

    You could dedicate a song to your dad and just sit by his side as it plays.

    Hope your dad feels better soon.  Sorry his accident was so untimely -- wishing him a speedy recovery. 

     

  • You could hold his hands and/or move the wheelchair around.  Whatever you and he are comfortable with.  I wish you a wonderful wedding and wish your dad a speedy recovery.
  • You've been offered some great suggestions. Please do not rent another wheelchair and do a wheelchair dance.
  • imageMKESweetie:
    You've been offered some great suggestions. Please do not rent another wheelchair and do a wheelchair dance.

    This. That's just plain tacky.

    I don't know why you are so adamant about having a dance with him. I suggest you find another way to honor him without trying to force it. Be respectful that he feels badly and was already on display being wheeled down the aisle, and probably doesn't want to be turned into a spectacle.

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  • My youngest daughter is in a wheelchair and we dance with her all the time.  We just hold her hands and we dance.  I agree with the others, do not rent a wheelchair for yourself to dance. That is a HORRIBLE choice, I'm sorry, but it is.  Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I hope you have a beautiful day! :)
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  • I would just stand up and make a little speech about how great your dad is.  Maybe do it as a thank you to both of your parents.  Perhaps your FI will want to say a few words about his parents.  Make it a family moment rather than a substitute for a tradition.
  • Hold hands while song plays but then ask MC to announce you'd like to invite other father/daughters out to the floor. (assuming there are other father/ daughters at your wedding)
  • Holding hands and moving around a bit sounds fine. Or do a faster dance and dance around him while he wheels around ... MH's uncle uses a wheelchair and did this, and he was one of the best dancers at our wedding.  

    I would just play it by ear and (depending on how your dad feels) decide what you want to do on the wedding day.

    I would definitely not rent a wheelchair for yourself.

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  • So why cant he still 'walk' you down the aisle?
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  • You should be asking your father and not a bunch of random women on the internet. That said-

    He may be Ok with dancing with you while using his chair. Or he may be very uncomforatbel with using a chair. Or he may have carried the image of dancing with you since he first found out you were a girl and feels terrible about how things turned out. Could he read a poem instead? Could you take a rain check and have your dance later?

  • I didn't like having everyone watch me while I danced, so I had my dad come to the floor with me and then the DJ invited others to join. So we were all dancing. Just hold his hand, even if you are in one place! The thought counts.
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  • I don't think you'll make it an entire song just holding your dad's hands and swaying...I would invite other father/daughters out there (I've even danced with my FIL when weddings give this option)...

    For the walk in, I would have your mom push your dad with you walking daintily beside... at the very least he should be at the front of the aisle ready to give you away

  • I'm an adaptive ski instructor, and we have many clients in wheelchairs.  They all love to dance at our annual fundraising gala!  It's simple, as the others suggested, just hold their hands/chair and dance/spin/push them around the dance floor.

    However, in your case, your dad broke his hip just eight days ago.  It's quite possible he may be in pain and won't be comfortable in his chair, especially not as the focus of everyone's attention.  I agree with whoever said, ask him.  I'm sure your dad loves you so much he may comply with whatever plan you come up with on your own, but if you really want him to be comfortable at your wedding celebration, ask him what he would prefer.

  • Do you sing? You could serenade him. Otherwise, the idea of others joining you on the dance floors sounds nice.
  • This is his dance with you -- why not ask him what HE'D like to do?

    Maybe he can come up with another creative solution. Get his input; see what he thinks.:)

  • I agree with PP, ask him what he wants to do.  You might be surprised what creative solution he comes up with.
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  • First of all I'm very sorry for both of you.  I know how stressful it can be to have to make a big change so close to the time. That being said, Relax and I promise things will work out, and I promise you will both have a moment that the two of you will always remember no matter what you decide on.

    If you can both carry a tune, why don't the two of you sing a song while letting all the other Father and daughter pairs dance. 

    Or you could read a poem to each other. 

    Depending on how formal your wedding is maybe you could play a game with just the fathers/daughters at your reception. 

    If your willing to let it be a funny moment they have this thing on www.JibJab.com, where you can superimpose your faces onto these dancing bodies, if you can set up a projector. and a computer so everyone can watch it.

     

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  • imageTarponMonoxide:

    Suggestions:

    You could dedicate a song to your dad and just sit by his side as it plays.

    I think this is a great idea.  And ditto the "speedy recovery" wishes for your dad.

    Getting a second wheelchair for you and doing a "wheelchair dance" just seems way over the top. 

    I know this is the kind of thing that seems monumental when you're just 8 days away from your wedding.  Try to keep it in perspective, though:  the important thing is that you and your FI will soon be married, your dad will be there to witness it, and life will move on.  In the grand scheme, isn't that what's most important?

  • I would ditto the advice to talk with your dad and do what he feels most comfortable with. It will be obvious to you and your dad, and to everyone around you, how much you love each other and how special the day is, and whatever way you choose to express it at that moment will be just right because of the emotion behind it.  Best wishes to him for a speedy recovery and congratulations on your marriage!
  • imageCaptainSerious:

    However, in your case, your dad broke his hip just eight days ago.  It's quite possible he may be in pain and won't be comfortable in his chair, especially not as the focus of everyone's attention.  I agree with whoever said, ask him.  I'm sure your dad loves you so much he may comply with whatever plan you come up with on your own, but if you really want him to be comfortable at your wedding celebration, ask him what he would prefer.

    I think this (pain) is important to consider. Maybe he's always wanted to do the father/daughter dance but maybe he's only disappointed because he thinks it's important to you.  If you suggest alternatives, perhaps he'll love those ideas just as much?

    I like the idea of a slide show (set to what would have been your dance song). You could even pull a chair onto the dance floor & sit beside him while it plays.  

    I also like the idea of the poem.

    As others have suggested, do NOT get another chair to dance with him.  If you still want to do the dance, just hold his hand & dance.

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