Having issues with a close friend

MegPlusFive

I met my best friend a few years ago, and since then we've become really close. We've been through hell and high water together, and are always there to help each other out.

She recently became more involved in a friendship with another person, and that of course doesn't bother me at all. What does bother me is the fact that I have really needed her input recently (my daughter is having surgery and I'm trying to make some difficult decisions) and she's often too busy skyping with this new friend to even have a conversation about it. She canceled plans with me so she can stay at home and skype, she never calls me anymore (and we used to speak to each other multiple times a day). I guess I'm just feeling ignored here. And since I have always been willing to drop what I'm doing to come help her, this is hurting my feelings.

Yeah, I know. I need to suck it up. And I will - I haven't said a word to her about this. But I'm closer to her than I am to nearly anyone else in my life.  Am I being totally unreasonable here? It would be nice if you guys would put this in perspective for me.

ZestofLime

You have a lot on your plate, if I remember correctly. 

It's ok to feel a little dejected about this, especially her cancelling plans on you. There's nothing wrong with having a conversation with her.

"Jen, I really miss hanging out with you and I always value your ability to listen or help me through a tough time and I was a bit hurt the time you changed our plans at the last minute. Have I done something to hurt your feelings or am I just unloading too many things off on you each time we talk?" 

Or something similar... 

EastCoastBride

I agree w/ Zest.  Find a time to talk to her. If she is your best friend, you should be able to do that!  I don't see why this is something to suck up. If you do suck it up, I htink it will only eventually make things worse.

heartlyric

ECB and Zest are right. You aren't being unreasonable with you have so much going on, need some support and your best friend isn't around so much but you want her to be. I don't think there is anything wrong with talking to her about it. She may not even realize she is doing it or might be waiting for you to come to her about it. Either way I don't think that sucking it up should be an option, at worse if she doesn't agree with you or continues to not be there, I think you should think about finding other people that can help you through this difficult time.

MegPlusFive

Thank you all. I appreciate the advice.

julie324

Make sure you talk to her.  Some people don't know how to react when kids have medical issues and they distance themselves.  I hope your daughter's surgery goes well.

MegPlusFive

julie324:

Make sure you talk to her.  Some people don't know how to react when kids have medical issues and they distance themselves.  I hope your daughter's surgery goes well.

 Thank you. Everything should be fine with DD, but she does have chronic health issues, so even relatively easy procedures can be risky. My friend is actually in nursing school, and has a medically fragile child as well. I know she can handle dealing with it, I think she's just preoccupied with her new friendship.

As weird as it may seem, I don't feel comfortable openly discussing this issue with her. It makes me feel vulnerable and needy, and I hate feeling that way. I feel as though she will look down on me if I confess how much these small things bother me. I don't know if that's true or if it's just my hangup, but there you have it.

I'm so much better at sucking it up, even if it's not the healthiest long-term option.

casmgn

I don't think that what ZestofLime wrote sounds needy at all.