Do your friends do this?

Passanie

From Ask Amy recently. We have a friend who does this and it drives me up the wall. Ever experienced this?

Dear Amy: I have a very close and caring friend. "Susan" is wonderful and generous but does one thing that drives me crazy. Whenever I invite her and her husband to our house, she always asks who else will be there.

She does this before giving her response (which is "yes" 99 percent of the time). She asks this in emails, so I cannot quickly parry her question verbally with: "Who are you interested in seeing?"

What is a proper way to stop this question? I feel that it is none of her business who else I invited. If I am invited to someone's home, I don't ask about other guests ? I give the host an answer about us and that's it.

I feel it is rude to ask this question every time. It's as if she is more interested in seeing my other guests than me and my husband.

Please help. I don't want to lose her friendship but this has been building up for too long. I end up either ignoring this question in my response email or saying I don't have others confirmed yet.

Read her answer and the rest of this here.

Mrs.BoomBoom

I agree with her, honesty's the best policy

hannikan

I'd be more likely to ask in case it's someone I don't want to see and/or I know doesn't like me/my DH. I have asked this before with that intention. I wouldn't ask every time but sometimes it will impact whether I want to go or not. But then I would set up something with my friend separately so he/she knows I still want to spend time with them.

wldktz10

I think I ask this sometimes of people, but it's never meant to mean that I wouldn't go if certain people were there, it's more like I have no filters and that tends to come out before I say yes.

 Btw, I read the other questions and the last one is super cute.

sm23

I never thought to ask that... And I can't think of any of my friends who do this. Usually I have a pretty good idea of who else is coming, and there's no one I dislike enough to cause me not to show up.

amyfelice

I would probably say, "me! that's all that matters"  Yes that would annoy me. 

Passanie

amyfelice:

I would probably say, "me! that's all that matters"  Yes that would annoy me. 

Yeah, seriously! Our friend likes to gauge if there's going to be single women there. I think he should come because he wants to spend time with his friends. It's so freaking rude.

annaandersen

I have never thought about this, but I don't think it would bother me. I think I might do this sometimes, oops. I don't ask it for any particular reason, just out of curiosity I guess.

Roni.Cedra

I have friends that will ask specifics... will X be there? Is X bringing Y? Are there going to be a lot of single men/women? And will there be other people with young children? But not just a random guest list. Generally I am sympathetic to the concerns. 

sm23

Passanie:

amyfelice:

I would probably say, "me! that's all that matters"  Yes that would annoy me. 

Yeah, seriously! Our friend likes to gauge if there's going to be single women there. I think he should come because he wants to spend time with his friends. It's so freaking rude.

That is annoying and rude. You could just not invite him  :-/