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Wedding gift question

We are just home from two weeks in France.  We flew to there for a friend's wedding.  I haven't sent a gift yet.  She's registered at Bloomingdale's and French department store.

I know what I would normally send as a gift.  A couple of friends who flew in from the states for the wedding suggested that the gift should reflect the fact that they had to fly to France.

Here's the kicker, they had a three hour cocktail hour with an open bar and nothing but pate to eat (which DH won't eat).  Dh and I barely drink since we had DS.  A friend was drinking double vodka on the rocks-which DH had never had before.  He thought it would be a good idea to drink that.  he was pretty drunk by dinner.  We didn't make it to the cake.  I got him out of there because I was afraid of him falling into the cake or something crazy and drunkenness isn't socially acceptable in France.

So my question is......Should I give a gift in my standard price range?  SOmething cheaper because it was in France?  Something more expensive because my DH got drunk and we had to leave?  I don't think he did anything crazier then insult the poor frenchwoman he was sitting next to and I e-mailed her an apology. 

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Re: Wedding gift question

  • imagesmacb:

    So my question is......Should I give a gift in my standard price range?  SOmething cheaper because it was in France?  Something more expensive because my DH got drunk and we had to leave?  I don't think he did anything crazier then insult the poor frenchwoman he was sitting next to and I e-mailed her an apology. 

    You may not find this helpful, but I would give whatever you find appropriate (very vague, I know). I say this b/c with my destination wedding, I had gifts ranging from nothing (not even a card), to the full amount we would have likely gotten if we had the wedding here (money since we're from Jersey and that's what people give at weddings). I didn't think twice about not getting a gift, even without the card, b/c it meant so much that people were able to join us at all. JMO.

    I guess if you're really not sure, I would go with what you would normally give since that seems to be the middle ground between a) traveling to France and b) drunky husband.

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  • imagejustbeachy20:

    I guess if you're really not sure, I would go with what you would normally give since that seems to be the middle ground between a) traveling to France and b) drunky husband.

    Ditto this. We had some pretty drunk people at our wedding - hitting on family members, throwing up on the shuttle bus - but I don't think we weighed their wedding gift against that. 

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  • I would just give what I would have normally given regardless of location or how DH acted.
  • imagejustbeachy20:
    imagesmacb:

    So my question is......Should I give a gift in my standard price range?  SOmething cheaper because it was in France?  Something more expensive because my DH got drunk and we had to leave?  I don't think he did anything crazier then insult the poor frenchwoman he was sitting next to and I e-mailed her an apology. 

    You may not find this helpful, but I would give whatever you find appropriate (very vague, I know). I say this b/c with my destination wedding, I had gifts ranging from nothing (not even a card), to the full amount we would have likely gotten if we had the wedding here (money since we're from Jersey and that's what people give at weddings). I didn't think twice about not getting a gift, even without the card, b/c it meant so much that people were able to join us at all. JMO.

    I guess if you're really not sure, I would go with what you would normally give since that seems to be the middle ground between a) traveling to France and b) drunky husband.

    ditto for our destination wedding.  I would give whatever you find appropriate - I wouldn't count DH in the equation, but I would def understand counting the travel.

  • I grew up in the south, and I'd never heard of the "cover your plate" thing until I got married and was on the Knot.

    My philosophy with wedding gifts has always been - give what you can afford to give. If you can still afford to give your "normal" gift even though you went to France, give that. If you need to cut back because of what you spent on the trip, then cut back. If giving a gift at all will cause you a financial hardship, just send a nice card congratulating the couple. Just because they invited you to their wedding does not mean you are obligated to give them any more than that.

    I had a local wedding and not many people traveled to it. I still got everything from extravagant gifts to nothing, not even a card. I don't feel any differently about the people who gave gifts vs. those that didn't. And, at this point, I'd have to dig out my gift list (that I only have because I'm a pack rat and save everything) to even tell you who the people were that didn't give something.

     

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