Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
SMIL vent (very long)
Ugh, I am so frustrated w/ SMIL. This is really long, I apologize in advance. Here's some backstory... about 3 years ago I was one of the leads at my company for designing a software package for the product I was working on. It was a fairly complicated data analysis package that we contracted to an offshore (Indian) software development company because they could do it for $30,000 - the local company quoted us half a million.
Anyhow, two weekends ago we went over to FIL/SMIL's house for dinner to visit w/ them and DH's uncle who was in town. Right when we got there, I pulled out our latest ultrasound pics to show them (cuz everyone loves their grandchildrens first pics, right?). FIL seemed happy enough, then SMIL came over and literally the first thing she says is 'oh, when <her dog> was pregnant all I could see was a bunch of spines & tails'. No congratulations, no oh that's cute. I, of course, didn't say anything, but was kind of peeved at that.
Fast forward to later in the night. She brings up, pretty much out of the blue, that my company should have come to her to do our software development (she knows a little about programming, but their company doesn't do software development). DH and I just try to laugh it off, but she doesn't quit. I then mention that the reason we went the way we did was because the company did it for only 30 grand vs the half million quoted in the states. Without even having an idea of the scope or purpose of the project she says 'oh I could have done it for less'. To which I respond, I don't think so, it took the company we used over 6 months to do it, it would take more money than that. And then 'oh I could have done it faster'. Me: 'I don't know, its a pretty complicated project, it took them a lot of work'. Her: 'No, I could have done it better'.
DH and I tried to move the conversation elsewhere, and I think it was his uncle that eventually changed the subject. Well, last Friday DH goes into her office to ask her a question (he works at their company). Her retort was 'why would you ask me since you think I'm so stupid'. Apparently she had been holding a grudge because of the dinner the previous weekend. Eventually it turns into a screaming match between smil and DH. At one point she yells at him because we didn't let them give us a honeymoon. Um, we scheduled our honeymoon 6 months before our wedding without even a word that they wanted to give us anything. The think it was preposterous that we didn't want to wait until weeks before the wedding for them to give it to us. And they didn't even offer it! What the hell we were supposed to do!
Ugh, there's a lot more, but this is way too long. I really wish DH didn't work for his dad. Most of the time his dad is pretty reasonable - but his step-mother is just so horrible. I really just want to go over there and yell at her, but of course that won't do anything. She's always right, and anyone who would even insinuate that she's not the best at everything is the wrong one. Ugh!!
Re: SMIL vent (very long)
Holy cow, I would never ever share any information about work with her again!
Annoying. I wouldnt really share anything with her work, baby, or life related.
And they give dogs ultrasounds?
Mommy's little helper
Oh, I haven't ever again. Both DH's sets of parents would give me a hard time about not talking much back in the day, so I tried non-confrontational subjects and it still bites me in the a$$. So I've gone back to trying not to talk at all.
I figured you wouldn't but with it being a family business I wondered how much they would try to suck you into those conversations. Your poor dh!!!
The weather is always a good subject I suppose. LOL
So what you're saying...is that you shared u/s pictures with her who you don't like, but are holding out on your nesties? BOOO!
Also, I can't believe she would be so rude. Throat punch for sure.
Ditto this. Why are MILs in any shape and form so miserable?!
BFP#2: 8/14/11 M/C 8/30/11 6w1d
BFP #3: 10/26/11
Beta #1 @11dpo: 22 Beta #2 @13dpo: 90 Beta #3 @17dpo: 480
Missed m/c 12w3d 12/28/11, d&c 12/30/11
dx Homozygous C677T MTHFR
UGH! Don't get me started on MIL's! I think the Detroit girls could write a book.
go back to being quiet, and just think soon enough you will have a baby, so you'll have an excuse to not show up at things, or if you do, you have an excuse to leave the room all of the time
<<hanging head in shame>> I have no excuse.
This. I know it's easier said than done, but I would definitely maintain the quiet act. It seems like she was looking for a debate. It might be fun to frustrate her when her efforts fail.
I also didn't know they do ultrasounds for dogs....
I agree with Maureen. Just go the quiet route and let that frustrate her. Sorry she's being such a dirty whore.
Ugh - how obnoxious. Ditto PP looks like being the quiet aloof type is the only way to go....or maybe the weather?