Oklahoma Nesties
amidavey06
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Is it worth it? (vent)
Recently I've been reevaluating my life desicions. I'm a full time working mom so my child goes to daycare full time. She is very loved and taken care of. Plus we have a DCP that loves our child to death. (we lucked out when found her) but recently I've been feeling like I don't get enough time with M. Our weekday nights are so hectic I just feel exhausted by bedtime. After we pick up M and get home I do some sort of quick meal and eat. Then we play for maybe an hour and then it's time for bath. After bath it's reading books and some songs before bedtime. M has a bedtime around 8 since I wake her up around 6:30 to be out the door on time.
I know this is the choice that was made when we decided to have kids. We knew that I would have to work full time so we would be able to live comfortably they way we want. But it's starting to seem not worth it to me anymore. I feel it's taking my time away from M and that I'm not there for her that much. This has really been plaguing lately and DH just says "well this is the way it has to be".
Thanks for hearing me out. I just needed a place to vent this to.
I know this is the choice that was made when we decided to have kids. We knew that I would have to work full time so we would be able to live comfortably they way we want. But it's starting to seem not worth it to me anymore. I feel it's taking my time away from M and that I'm not there for her that much. This has really been plaguing lately and DH just says "well this is the way it has to be".
Thanks for hearing me out. I just needed a place to vent this to.
Re: Is it worth it? (vent)
I feel the same way. I know this is the way it has to be, but it sucks. It really makes me appreciate the time I have with JJ - especially our weekends. JJ stays up an hour later than M though, so I have a little more time with him during the week than you do with her.
I'm hoping that when we move, if we can take care of things, I can stop working for awhile and stay home with JJ for a year or two before he hits preschool. We do plan on having more kids soon [trying to, at least], and it'd be nice to stay home...but if I can't, I can't. I know it sucks, but just hang in there. Maybe you guys can work something out to where, in the future, you can stay home. *hugs*
Several times on here you have commented that you wish you could stay at home - what would it take for you to do that? How much extra money do you actually bring in by working after you pay daycare? I have quite a few friends that stay at home because they figured out after they paid for daycare they were only bringing in a couple hundred bucks extra a month and so it wasn't worth it. If that isn't the case....would you be willing to sacrifice, as far as fixed expenses to stay at home? Could you move to a smaller home? It seems like you all live in a newer house in a nicer neighborhood, would you be able to sacrifice that to live in a less nice house (and for the record, Norman has some great older neighborhoods with some gorgeous older homes that are good sized and that are priced well).
Do you know other moms that work? Would you want to have your own in home childcare facility so you could stay at home with M as well as pull in some extra cash?
Also, is there a way you could work part time somewhere? I feel like that gives me the best of both worlds. Sorry you're struggling with this
Recently DH and I sat down tallied up all of fixed finances. We have cut back a lot on some of the (bundling our phone, Internet ,and cable and also paying off debt). Even with that we still need my income. We do live in a newer house but we knew exactly how much wanted to spend on our mortgage so we would not be living outside of our means. Daycare actually doesn't take up too much of my paycheck so it's not really that aspect it's just the time. I have been looking for a pt job but not very many options open right now. The search is still on though. Thanks for the advice ladies! Really appreciate it!
Oh, I hope you didn't think I implied that you were living outside your means, because that is not what I intended to say. A mortgage is usually a household's biggest expense and I just wondered if that didn't decrease if that would enable you to stay at home. Sorry!
I send big hugs your way! I was really dreading going back to a full time position after B was born. We looked at our bills and our savings goals and didn't see anyway around it, even cutting everything extra there was just no way.
Keep your head up high and keep your eyes and ears open, something great will happen for your family that will allow for more time with M!
I will say that I have loads of respect for you and other full time working moms, I don't know how you guys do it! There are not enough hours in my days and I am home 3 out of the 5!