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vent about mom
So anyway, My aunt is 81 (mom's older sister) and she lost her husband this summer. They had no children and had moved to FL about 30 years ago. My mom is 71 and has gone to visit a number of times (They are like oil and water, but I'll get to that). My mom has been noticing a lot of issues w/ my aunt (i.e. forgetting things, strange angry outbursts etc.) So my mom is down in FL for another visit, where of course she's miserable the whole time and calls everyday to vent about my aunt. My mom is the extremely subservient, never can speak up for herself type of person. So she starts telling me that my aunt has been taking these pain pills that aren't even prescribed to her (belonged to my dead uncle) and she passes out for long periods of time. So I say "Look ,mom, you really shouldn't be driving with someone who is taking pills like that" and my mom answers "Well she said she'd never hurt me..." and I said "Mom, just tell her YOU will drive or you're not going" and my mom laughs and says "well that's one way to put it" then she just changes the subject.
So last night my mom calls again at 8:30 (around the time Josie and I go to bed) and says "Oh, I know you're busy right now, I just wanted to tell you I had it out with (aunt). I told her YOU are very upset with her and you don't want me driving with her"
speechless.
Then she adds "So I just wanted to tell you that you probably shouldn't call me this week unless you really have to, y'know, because you are not her favorite person right now"
Wow. Way to freakin' throw me under the bus, mom. Is this a generational thing? A legion of women who go through life waiting for someone to save them, so they can preface every single sentence with "My brother told me to" or "My friend says not to?" I am seriously so livid with my mom. My only crime here is letting her call everyday and listening to her vent.
UGGGHH
Thanks for listening
Re: vent about mom
that was very uncool, i'd be pissed too. though i'd also be relieved that she's not driving with your aunt. could you have a talk with your mom about how it was not ok for her to throw you under the bus instead of having some backbone?
my mom is totally a doormat and i find it infuriating even though i live far away. i have had a few stern conversations with her over the past few years about doing what is best for her and not letting others walk all over her. it has worked to some extent but due to the dynamics of our family, she will always be a people-pleaser on some level.