Dear (Whomever) You Suck

Jenn is Silly

Yes, I need one of these, and to feel less shameful, invite you to write your "Dear (Whomever) You Suck" letter as well.

Please don't flame me.  In fact this whole post is flame free- ready, set, go!

Jenn is Silly

Dear MIL,

Please respect my parenting style.  I have respected the way you parent BIL (who will be 13 in August) for the last 4 years.  I've not said anything about how you chose to coddle him, or how I feel that your belief that medicine is the devil is absurd.  I have not told you how awful I feel it is of you to deny him the opportunity to treat his allergies so he can be a normal 13 y/o boy playing sports and going to summer camp (and you can even do this with allergy shots- which have no "toxins" or "evil drug manufacturers" lurking in them!)

DD does not need to be covered head to toe 24/7.  In fact, she seems quite content in a onesie and some socks.  She does not need leggings, a jacket, a cap, and to be swaddled.  As I mentioned, she hates being swaddled.  As I mentioned our pediatrician prefers she not be swaddled except for at bed time as it's very important for her self soothing development and overall development to be "free".  She's a very strong little girl and has great arm control, she does not jerk her arms around, she is fine.

Additionally, the ceiling fan is also not the devil.  Please do not turn every ceiling fan in my house off all. day. long.  It is hot outside, in fact it's suppose to be 99 today, it makes my house very hot and I then have to work my AC very hard to cool it down.  

Lastly, I am not an evil parent for vaccinating my child.  I am not an evil person for demanding that your son (DH) get vaccinated.  I am not a horrible person for saying that your other son (who was never vaccinated) is not allowed DD if he's got any illness symptoms (even if you think it's just allergies) or because I require that he shower and change his clothes before seeing DD (because you also believe hand santizer is the devil).  You chose not to vaccinate your children- your choice.  I chose to vaccinate mine.  DD being vaccinated poses a risk to DH because he's not vaccinated and while very few are still live vaccines, it's still very important.  I love my DH and would like to keep him around.  Additionally, your son is a carrier for tons of diseases, and while he may not be sick, he can bring an illness to my daughter.  Please don't ridicule me for my choices.  Yes, I am not as concerned with my parents/sister being around DD- but they are all vaccinated!  In fact, they all just received their pertosis (whooping cough) booster to PROTECT DD. 

Sorry this was long.

Sincerely,

You're horrible, awful, toxic absorbing DIL

CTri17

I'm not going to flame you because your parenting choices are your parenting choices. And I think they are good

Jenn is Silly:

  DD being vaccinated poses a risk to DH because he's not vaccinated and while very few are still live vaccines, it's still very important.

yes, possibly

Jenn is Silly:

  Additionally, your son is a carrier for tons of diseases, and while he may not be sick, he can bring an illness to my daughter. 

probably not. Just because he isn't vaccinated doesn't mean he is spreading diseases around.

If he has illness symptoms, fine don't let him be around. Otherwise I think you are being a little over the top with protecting her. 

I understand as a new mom that you want to protect your child but you also have to keep a relationship with your DH's family.

Maybe he should have titers drawn so you can see what vaccinations he needs.

Jenn is Silly

DH is having blood work as the pediatrician stated that he doesn't need full immunizations at this point and it will let us know what he does need. But he said DH will for sure need MMR as it's still a live vaccine and DD receiving it exposes DH. In regards to his brother, we had 3 different pediatricians who have various opinions on vaccinating state that her exposure to him when sick (due to age and his exposure at school) was risky because while it's likely not to be an issue, we wouldn't know until it presented itself. If that makes me over protective, so be it. I walked through hell and back for this little girl and I'll be damned if I'm going to risk her exposure to something life threatening because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I should have clarified- the pediatrician said this was for the first 9-10 months of her life, at that point her own natural and vaccinated immunity would be stronger.

sandipluschris

Jenn - I think you're doing the right thing.  I have a very good friend who is dealing with something similar.  Her SIL (whom she loves dearly) is not vaccinated.  My friend is pregnant and very nervous (after doing a great deal of research in addition to being on a Nevada Coalition to help parents understand vaccinations) about exposure both while pregnant and after she has the baby. 

It's tough because there is a stretch of time that is so precarious and you have to be very careful!!  

Stand your ground and keep working with your Pedi to have the best information to keep your daughter safe and healthy. 

xxSOMMERxx

I can totally get in on this right now...

  dear boss,

you suck. the fact that you think you can take a break from your postpartum depression meds and make everyones life a living hell is unacceptable. we have been dealing with this for over a year now, and it needs to stop. when you come into work and start crying for no reason or decide to scream at people, we lose respect for you. giving excuses like your p.m.s. ing or have had a bad morning is not our fault, and quite frankly is bullshit. everyone has bad mornings and has pms. from now on, please swallow that damn pill and come into work like a normal human being.

 

sincerely,

employee thats ready to walk out on your ass 

CTri17

Jenn is Silly:

DH is having blood work as the pediatrician stated that he doesn't need full immunizations at this point and it will let us know what he does need. But he said DH will for sure need MMR as it's still a live vaccine and DD receiving it exposes DH. In regards to his brother, we had 3 different pediatricians who have various opinions on vaccinating state that her exposure to him when sick (due to age and his exposure at school) was risky because while it's likely not to be an issue, we wouldn't know until it presented itself. If that makes me over protective, so be it. I walked through hell and back for this little girl and I'll be damned if I'm going to risk her exposure to something life threatening because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I should have clarified- the pediatrician said this was for the first 9-10 months of her life, at that point her own natural and vaccinated immunity would be stronger.

right, which was why I said if he has symptoms then by all means keep him away.

Really I wasn't trying to flame you but you seem awful up in arms about it and stressed out. 

I'm just saying that it is a tricky situation that has to be handled carefully. The likelihood of her picking up something life threatening is VERY very small. 

And I get it, I have a daughter, I understand what you are saying.

Tayrusso

Jenn is Silly:

DD does not need to be covered head to toe 24/7.  In fact, she seems quite content in a onesie and some socks.  She does not need leggings, a jacket, a cap, and to be swaddled.

My mom is so annoyingly weird about this too.  Ugh!  I'm sorry you have to deal with your MIL, believe me, I know the feeling.

CTri17

oh Jenn and FWIW , I totally feel on the whole respecting YOUR parenting style , sometimes parents have the best intentions but hopefully they will be able to do things your way.

If I wasn't sure that things would be done my way I wouldn't be leaving Lucy with them.