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Mothers day went as planned...
We got up and went to church with the kids, and I called my mom to ask if she could keep the kids for a few hours while DH and I spend some time alone. She agreed, and DH & I had breakfast and went to an early movie "Jump the Broom". It was a an okay movie. It touched alot of things that we are going through in our marriage.
I texted my MIL to wish her a Happy Mothers Day, and moved on with my day. I didn't feel rushed throughout the day, and just enjoyed the time out. DH and I had a chance to talk and communicate about many things.
Later on in the day my SIL came by to pick up DD, and she said that as she left their moms house, and as she was walking out she said that their mom told her that DH hadn't called her all day...So SIL told DH about how he was wrong for not having called or visited his mother for Mothers day. I stayed quiet, and let DH talk. He told her that he was going to call her and stop by on Monday to give her a gift, and they went back and forth for awhile because apparently his answer was not good enough...I didn't want to hear it anymore so I changed the subject and begin to talk about something else. DH called his mom, and told her Happy Mothers Day, and that he planned to drop by on Monday to give her a gift.
After all that I have been through with my inlaws..I just didn't want to be bothered, and maybe that was selfish of me...but these days I have to protect my feelings and start doing the things that make me happy again...I don't feel guilty at all. We are not obligated to do anything that we don't want to do...So I'm glad we didn't change our plans, and go to their house like we would normally do.
I don't believe that my inlaws are bad people. I just feel that they need to let go so that DH and I live our own lives and not vicariously through them.
Re: Mothers day went as planned...
You are right! But its like we tend to think of what we could have done better after the fact. It's a learning experience for the both of us, and what we did yesterday was a big step for the both of us...
I'm not trying to make DH turn againist his mom , because at the end of the day that will always be his mother.
It sounds like most of the day passed without her hearing from her son. As thoughtful as it is that you texted her, maybe it would have been better if he had called, or texted her, earlier in the day. I'm assuming it would have been a quick phone call to wish her a Happy Mothers Day and let her know he would spend time with her Monday.
Did she already know that he was going to connect with her on Monday? I agree with the above poster that a call/text from him would have made for a more positive outcome. That being said, I don't know your back story but I think it's wise for you to stay out of the family back and forth (and fwiw it was considerate of you to text her if, from what I'm picking up, she's been less than kind to you).