Would you guys be hurt..

brittjoy84

or not, I need you to tell me if I'm overreacting.

Go to ILs yesterday (DH has a very small family, they do everything together- always) They announce, not ask, that family vacation is July 4th weekend. We tell them that doesn't work for us since we have a wedding the week prior and DH cannot take two weekends in a row off of work. They basically shrug their shoulders and get all excited about booking the trip (which they do right then and there online) without making the most minimal effort to include us whatsoever.

Maybe I'm just PMSy but that pissed me off royally.

Temp103605875001677

Do you typically have a family vacation? I would be pissed too. What does your DH think about it?

luckyinlove11902

That would have annoyed me. My family tends to do the same thing. Announce, not ask. Is everyone usually expected to attend these vacations? Did they book as though they still expected you guys to show up or were they just saying "oh well" and booking anyway?

LXLX

I understand your feelings and that's incredibly rude and inconsiderate of them to book it right there in front of you (what kind of host does that?), but any feelings I had of hurt would be outweighed by my overwhelming feelings of sheer joy and relief that I didn't have to go on vacation with my ILs

jacmdb

I would be upset if it were my parents because we vacation with them for a week every year. But we always coordinate to see what is a good week for everyone.

 

brittjoy84

Lucille Bluth:

I understand your feelings and that's incredibly rude and inconsiderate of them to book it right there in front of you (what kind of host does that?), but any feelings I had of hurt would be outweighed by my overwhelming feelings of sheer joy and relief that I didn't have to go on vacation with my ILs

LOL Those are my thoughts as well about my FIL but I love my SILs, so I was a bit disappointed.

brittjoy84

luckyinlove11902:

That would have annoyed me. My family tends to do the same thing. Announce, not ask. Is everyone usually expected to attend these vacations? Did they book as though they still expected you guys to show up or were they just saying "oh well" and booking anyway?

They expected us to go and then when we couldn't it was "oh well." As a sidenote, they also took a family vacation last year to Europe that we did not get invited to and were told later on that they knew we couldn't afford it. Yes, I understand that line of thinking, but I still think it's rude to not at least ask.

ClaireDunphy

If you're normally a part of the trip, I'd be annoyed that everything was set in stone without even asking you...

Kristin&Adam

Pretty much ditto LB.

I'd be hurt and annoyed, especially given what you said happened last year with the Europe trip.  

ashleemw

I'd be annoyed that they didn't even talk about dates, just decided. In my family, we all get our calendars out and try to find something that works for everyone. If it's just not going to work for someone, it's fine, but we try to get everyone included. 

I think it was pretty rude that they went ahead and planned with you still there. Is his family not all together often and it was the only time they could decide things? That's how ours is, we're so rarely together that when we decide, we have to plan right away, but if everyone lives close by and it's not something they could decide over email or phone, I'd be a little pissed they took MD and turned it into vacation planning day. 

brittjoy84

Thanks guys, I'm glad to know I'm not being irrational. I don't know why I'm shocked to discover that people with a history of being rude and inconsiderate are yet again...rude and inconsiderate. Such is life with my ILs.