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Frogs, snails and shower drama advice needed
Anatomy scan yesterday- everything went smoothly and baby looks great.
Sex was confirmed- it's a boy!
I have a question about baby showers. I need to get a list to my sister and I'm cool with "my side," but MIL is posing a challenge. In my family, children are usually not included at bridal and baby showers. SIL, who did not even bother to RSVP to my bridal shower, brought my nieces and that caused some drama. (Not that it's her or anyone's business, but I have a family member who suffers from addiction and untreated bipolar disorder. I choose (for now) to keep this person in my life and invite her to showers, but she is capable of causing some special scenes that children are better off not witnessing).
I spoke to MIL recently, explained why the girls were not invited to the bridal shower and we just disagree on the issue. I was clear about my feelings and thought the issue would not come up for the baby shower. Well, the other day she mentioned how my nieces (sweet 4 and 6 yr olds) are so excited for the shower and what they plan to do there in terms of decorating and helping.
Now that it's time for her to put a list together, what should I do? Reiterate my feelings and say no children? Just have them come, even though it will stress me and some of my family members? Let my sister (who is hosting) deal with it (though she has less patience for the situation than I do)? Another option? DH supports any decision I make and is comfortable addressing it with his mother.
Thanks for your advice!
Re: Frogs, snails and shower drama advice needed
If it will stress YOU out, then they should not come. It will be your day and the last thing you will want is to have to worry about who is getting upset, who is getting stressed..etc.
With that said, if you think it is going to cause problems between you and MIL, maybe your DH should talk to her? I mean, you already said your peace once and it seems like either she (conveniently) forgot, or, she is choosing not to listen. Either way, maybe DH should take a swing at it.
GL!!
I like this suggestion! I would also have DH deal with her. You have done what you can to try to let her know what your wishes are, and she's choosing to ignore them. Your DH needs to get involved now and really put some pressure on her. Maybe you could also talk to BIL/SIL? After hearing your reason's for not wanting the girls at the shower, they may not want the girls at the shower either.
Congrats on having a boy!!
I think you need 2 showers, and your MIL may want to host one to be sure she includes who she wants. Or just one shower with your friends and your side of the family.
I also feel that you are at a very adult point in your life, and it's not up to your MIL to dictate any sort of guest list for a party in your honor that she is not hosting. Yes, it is gracious that you offer it to her, but you don't have to. You and your husband can determine who from your side and that side (friends and family) should or should not be included. Don't ask her, or you'll get a response you know you don't want.
I didn't have a shower for either kid and needed 100+ notecards for the gifts we received, both times. So my point is many people will send a gift whent he baby is born even if they didn't attend a shower.
I like this Idea.
Congrats on your baby boy!!!
Hello. I've waited here for you. Everlong<3<br>
Horray for the official confirmation of boy!!! A is so excited to teach gleek all of his dirty secrets
Here's my take....what if you did a little tea party separately with the girls to celebrate so that you can have time with them and they don't feel left out of not coming to the shower? Not sure if your sis is planning on doing a wishing well for your shower but if she does you could do something with the girls the next day and let them help you open all the stuff from the wishing well.
It is going to stress you out having them there. So I definitely would have D talk to his mom and SIL and explain that the girls should not be there otherwise I fear it will just be a repeat of the bridal shower.
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Exactly what I was thinking! Congrats on the boy!!!
Always missing my Mommy (1954-2010) and Daddy (1943-2012)
TTC since 2009 ; BFP 9/13/10 = MC 10/21/10
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Surprise BFP 8/31/11 while waiting to cycle for IVF
Welcomed our little miracle 5/7/12
this! Have your MIL host another shower. Then she can invite her side in whatever manner she prefers. Also, congrats again on your son!!!!
Sorry for the shower drama but not sure i could say anything different than all pps.
More importantly, CONGRATS ON HAVING A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks, ladies; we are so excited to meet the little guy in a few months!
As for the shower, DH will just have to deal with it. At the end of the day, it's our decision. It just sucks that we were put in this position after we already explained our reasoning for not inviting children (which is the norm for "my side" anyway).