Friend's first anniversary without her husband

jnc5000

My friend recently lost her husband in an accident.  Their wedding anniversary is coming up in a month.  Do I say anything?  Should I offer to come up and spend time with her that day?  I can imagine this will be difficult for her, but I don't want to make her more upset by reminding her that their anniversary is quickly approaching.  What do you think?

ZestofLime

That's terrible, I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. 

I think your offer of spending the day with her is a nice one. She may or may not take you up on it, but my preference would be to have additional support on a tough day. 

FMIL&MOB

Absolutely you should offer to spend the day with her. I would think acting like it was just another day would be more hurtful to her than letting her know you are there for her. You aren't reminding her, she already knows the day is approaching.

Sue_sue

This is really nice of you. And I don't think you'll make her more upset; she knows their anniversary date, and that it's coming up. What'll make her feel better is that someone remembers too, and cares for her.

BlackDiamond3201

I would let your friend know that you are leaving that day open for her in case she wants to do anything. This would leave it open to her, you could ask her again as the day gets closer.

alithebride

i dont think she'd be upset more if you offered to spend time with her. in fact, i think she'd really appreciate it (even if she doesn't take you up on it).

Dragonfly08

I'm so sorry for her loss.

As some pps have said, I'm pretty sure you won't be reminding her of anything.  She's fully aware of the date.  I'd definitely call her up and ask her what you can do for her.  Let her know that whatever she needs, whether it's company or just to be left alone but know she's thought of, you're there for her. 

MammaMia73

Ditto PPs.  You can't reminder of the date more than she'll be reminding herself.  I think she'll be so touched that YOU remembered and are thinking of her.  She may not take you up on your offer but I know she'll appreciate the gesture.

mgfit1

I think I would say something to her and just keep it super simple like "the date" is coming up and I am thinking about you and wanted to know if we could spend some time together that day.   When my BFF mom died and the first anniversary came up, I sent her huge, beautiful flowers saying "I love you and wanted to brighten your day" but I live 5 hours from her.....

jnc5000

Thank you everyone for your advice - I really appreciate it!

JulieRNbride

I think it would be nice to acknowledge her and ask what she would like to do on that day....lunch together or dinner or a movie. Maybe she wants to sit quietly at home and talk about her husband. It doesn't hurt to ask her what she might like to do, and take the lead from there....

You are a good friend for thinking of her.

rdanielleu

Sue_sue:

This is really nice of you. And I don't think you'll make her more upset; she knows their anniversary date, and that it's coming up. What'll make her feel better is that someone remembers too, and cares for her.

 

totally agree. You are a thoughtful friend!