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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What would you do...
If you had been married to someone for 20+ years and found out they had a love child while you were married??
Re: What would you do...
Cheating is really tough to deal with. I can only imagine it'd be even tougher if you had a physical reminder running around.
I would be open to counseling to get through it, but he would have to work d@mn hard to fix things. I don't know that I could ever be okay with something like that, but I guess it depends on the rest of the relationship.
Talking about Maria and Arnold? If so, I can't believe the kid is more than 10 years old...wow. What a secret to keep for so long.
But I digress. At that point in my relationship, I don't know if I'd leave or just leave things the way they are. Obviously, you can't be oblivious anymore to the fact that your husband cheated on you, got another woman pregnant and never said anything about it until now...
I'd be torn. My heart says I'd drop the man and leave. How could I trust him again?
Ack! I hadn't heard this (not that I'm *that* surprised). I'm way behind on the gossip blogs these days.
Not buying that Maria had no clue of Arnold's extramarital activities... seriously. Not blaming her but just not buying her being completely in dark.
With that being said, infidelity is a huge issue for me (as I am sure most women) and I can never say what I would do if presented with the information. Given the longevity of the incident and the child that it produced, that would surely be grounds for some serious change.
I completely agree with this!
I don't think I could be with a man that was unfaithful and then kept a HUGE secret like a love child from me for 10 years. I wouldn't be able to get past it. Even with counseling. Infidelity is one thing that I could not let go.
I truly do not understand how these women have no idea their husbands are cheating. Elin, Eva, etc etc. For one thing - it kind of comes with the territory of being with someone that has so much money. If I were super famous, I am not sure I would ever get married or I wouldn't get married expecting that my partner is going to be faithful. I know that's bad but look at history.....
I feel bad for Maria, obviously, but....man.
I feel the same way. I really don't know what I would do if I were to ever find out that H had been unfaithful to me. Obviously, it would seriously damage our relationship, but I don't think I could ever know until I was actually there if a repair would be possible or if I would try to make it work.
I'm thinking she had to know. How else was this kept quiet for 10 years. I'm thinking she was paid and paid well. Wouldn't Maria had known if her husband was taking a large sum of cash out each month?
I heard something on NPR about this after reading about it here, and I think it is plausible that she didn't know. Not saying that I completely believe her, but it could happen.
I think the fact that the woman was on staff makes it easier to cover up. If Maria ever saw payments going to the baby mama, Arnold could explain by saying she's on staff, and it's part of her compensation, or she got a raise (no pun intended).
You hear stories like this fairly often. When people screw up, they often go to great lengths to hide it. Pretty sad.
I think I'd actually be able to get through the "love child" thing--especially if it was a one time indiscretion. What I couldn't deal with is the 10 years of lying. I know I'm a weirdo, but I'd much rather my DH stick his peen in someone else one time and tell me about it (though, I doubt this was a one time thing) than lie to me about something this big.
Adding on: obviously, given the choice, I'd choose neither, though