May 2008 Weddings
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So....annoyed

I had a shoot scheduled today with a friend who's been begging for a shoot. 20 minutes before she has to show up, she cancels via text. I had told her that she was free to bring her son, since the shoot is at a high school track and he'd have fun, but she insisted upon dropping her son off with her cousin. The reason for cancelling? She just got to her cousin's house and she feels like it would be rude to just show up and run.

Um...aren't you dropping your son off with your cousin specifically so you can do this shoot? Wouldn't they know and understand that?

 So because I was all motivated to do this shoot, I decided to call my neighbor who's been begging me for maternity photos. I ask if she's free, and she says she is, that she's been free all day. When I tell her the situation, she tells me, "can't you find anyone else? I'm tired."

I can understand that, she's pregnant, it's fine. But part of me was annoyed because she uses the tired excuse a lot, even before she was pregnant, and she's been begging me for photos for months. And lately I've been feeling neglected by her (I help planned her shower a few weeks ago, and the day I graduate she bails out on my party the morning of, and more stuff like that). 

I'm trying to be understanding, but feeling kind of neglected by friends at the moment. And it isn't me going to them and wanting to do it, it's them wanting photos done. And I feel like I'm always doing things for them, but then they have little regard for me. :(

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Re: So....annoyed

  • that sucks.  Hopefully it was just an "off day" and it just so happens that both were not able to follow through on their request for the pictures.  I'd give it another try and if they blow you off again, then I'd mention it to them.  And maybe bring up (in a soft way) that you're time is important too and you had put some time aside for them...and it was disappointing when she cancelled at the last minute. 

    Altho, honestly, it does sound fishy that all of a sudden she thought it was rude to leave her son with her cousin, since that's supposedly why she was stopping by there in the first place. Huh?  I think that one needs a little more investigating or probing to see what the real issue was there.

    Good luck, and hopefully it was just a fluke and that you have a better day today.

  • so true but nice guys finish last. it sucks but it's true - i say this all teh time to my coworkers - it sucks being nice. i'm sorry that you're feeling neglected. b/c you're taking your personal time to do these photos, maybe your friends are thinking they are helping you, instead of you helping them. (even though it seems like your clientelle is growing without needing a portfolio). i hope this feeling passes for you and that people start to appreciate your services when you're offering them for free.

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  • Thanks guys. :)

    There was a glimmer of positives yesterday. I found a friend who was willing to come up and just take pics for fun. Since I had my equipment all set to go and in the mindset, I didn't want to waste it. So at least there was someone willing to do that with me. :)

    And yes, being nice does suck. And I really do want to talk to friend #2 about the countless times I've done things for her without feeling any love for it or in return, but she's the personality type to not be able to handle confrontation, and will just stop talking to me all together for it. She's not a good communicator. 

     

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