One more invitation post

PBJ63010

How does this wording sound?

"Come to my party and celebrate a bit,
see my first cake I'll be wearing it.

Brynn's First Birthday Party
Sunday July 3rd
4:00PM
G___ House (address on back)
Please RSVP to Paige By June 25th
Phone or email"

 

The back says

"Our address
I80 is under construction an alternate route may be best

No Gifts Please - Your presence is present enough"

 

Then we have an insert that says

"Please feel free to stay after the birthday festivites for a Bonfire and Fireworks."

Does everything sound ok? Can you see anything that I should change?

TIA ladies! I have to get these ordered tonight so I can get them out the day after she turns 11 months!

HOW IS MY BABY ALMOST 1???????

Mrs.Cammie

I get hung up a little on the "your presence is present enough" part. It just feels funny to say. I think just saying no gifts please would be just fine or saying no gifts please your presence is enough. Otherwise, it sounds great! How do the babies get so big so fast?!?!

marytini

This is just a punctuation issue, so you can ignore if you just didn't include it above. I feel like there should be a comma or semi colon after cake and before I'll. Because there is a natural pause when you read it out loud. And I might agree with cammie about the presence for presents!

terpchristy

marytini:

This is just a punctuation issue, so you can ignore if you just didn't include it above. I feel like there should be a comma or semi colon after cake and before I'll. Because there is a natural pause when you read it out loud. And I might agree with cammie about the presence for presents!

Yup! Semi colon or even a dash (-  that's just because I type that way)....

PBJ63010

Thanks ladies!

The actual invite did have the comma. I just forgot it here of course!

reps14

I actually like the presence is present enough part, I think it's cute and I like the wordplay.  But that's just my opinion.