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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Um, what? Parents choose to keep child's gender a secret. And he's 4 mo. old...
Thoughts?
I think it's crazy sauce.
Re: Um, what? Parents choose to keep child's gender a secret. And he's 4 mo. old...
Let me soften that...
I can see where they're coming from by not making their child conform to the "norms" of society. But do you think that they're making their children more of an outcast by doing so? Their oldest son almost seems embarassed even though he doesn't know any different. So bizzare and so sad.
Bio
Slightly on topic....
I have an old school friend (like K-2 in another state!) who just gave birth to her second son. It was a water birth!!!!! And she said, "Maybe he'll have a name by June." It just sounds so bizarre.
Water births are becoming more and more normal, but for me, hospitals all the way.
But not having a name... that's odd.
Bio
I sure hope that someone doesn't take offense to this but....
My mom used to call her parents quacks because they were chiropractors and she's one too. We were apparently BFFs in elementary school and she was so excited to find me last summer. Really, she's a sweet girl and I'm glad to have a few people I used to go to school with in my life.
I'm with you: hospital. Not at home and not in a tub. Also, probably not standing up.
I agree crazy sauce. I get not making your child conform to certain gender roles if they dont want to but to not acknowledge their gender at all is a little strange.
Also, Julie I agree the name thing is weird, but I wouldnt say chiropractors are quacks.
Um, I think it's pretty odd and those poor kids. They have no idea what is to come in their lives if it continues like it is.
Like I said, that's what my mom called them. I never really understood what that meant (chiropractor). I was five.
I think it's a little strange.
But, that's the beauty of parenting. Everyone has the right to raise their children however they wish.
And even though I think it's strange, and I wouldn't raise my children like that, I think maybe children raised not confined by these social and gender norms would be raised to be more accepting in general. And I think our society as a whole could benefit from more people like that.
With some exceptions (you guys read the news), I am finding that a lot of the kids I am teaching are very accepting as a whole towards people who "aren't the norm".
That's surprising. Our generation isn't.
Each generation becomes more accepting of something that wasn't a norm for the generation before them at least from what I see.
That's probably true. Makes sense.
Um, absolute crazy sauce.
Since when does a 4 month old give a crap what color their room is painted/what color they are wearing, etc? I would imagine the childs gender would be revealed before they were old enough to thoughtfully express it.
I was a psychology minor in college and took several classes on childhood development and things of that nature and I don't think it's that crazy sauce.
I see where they're coming from. As infants their "role" in life is predetermined with their name (that's why I guess they went with a unisex name of Storm) and then reinforced with pink bows and dress or trucks and blue shorts. As children get older they are told be a "good boy" or "girls don't do that" which then again puts this perimeter around how they should be because of sex.
Tiffany, I think you said that girls and boys don't have to be dressed in such gender specific clothes, but how many parents do you know that couldn't wait to dress their little girl up in bows and frilly dresses or boys in cute hats and blue stuff? However, I agree with your point.
When Summer said maybe they'll grow up to be more tolerant and that as parents they have the right to raise their kids the way they want I think she was right on.
The only thing I think as a parent I would be concerned with is the possibly of a lack of identity. With this strong push against the "gender norms" I wonder if it would backfire and lead to a person who doesn't know who they want or are supposed to be.
Does this make sense without offending anyone? I'm not trying to cause drama.
Bows and frilly dresses - GUILTY! However, I don't necessarily think that I am pushing my daughter one way or another. She's a girl, and I dress her as one. When she's old enough to make her own decisions about her clothing, she will be able to make that decision.
I wholeheartedly agree with the identity crisis issue. I fear that these children aren't learning who they are AT ALL with this tactic. For instance, their oldest son obviously is embarrassed by being called a girl, and pulls back from normal social activity; but he isn't sure why it's happening. His parents are doing him a disservice, IMHO.
No drama at all, by the way! I enjoy seeing both sides.
Bio
It make sense Renee. I guess I didn't realize that kids that young really knew or cared about what color their blankets were or what color they are wearing.
ITA. 100%.
I definitely think going that far can backfire though, and that's obvious with their oldest child.
ETA: I took a Women's Studies class at North Texas and we did a whole unit on Gender roles and learned a lot about this stuff, as well as some psych classes and I can't agree with you more about all of that. People often think gender and sex are one in the same.
It makes me think of those children that you hear about that are grown, and say they have always "felt" like they were the opposite gender from a very young age. But, more than likely they were forced into the gender norms because of their sex, so they didn't really have a choice.
Renee,
Cool info!
I will say that, at some point, they're going to identify with a gender and it may be forced on them. When you're a guy, you have to go to the guy's restroom. And at some point, a little boy starts wondering what that is down there and a girl will eventually have a period and that still happens before most even think about having a sex change.