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Should we still throw her a grad party?
I need advice and am going to make this as uncomplicated to explain as possible, haha. Everyone I talk about is a close friend and we all go to church together and have known each other for many years.
Beth just graduated Cosmetology school. Justine (her roommate) was going to throw her a graduation party. I think it's kind of silly since she just graduated (aka got her GED) and had a party for it about a year ago, Justine agrees but feels bad not throwing her a party because she feels like Beth expects it. Justine doesn't have much money but is going to try to put something nice together for her, and I agreed to help so she doesn't have the full burden. We just learned today via Facebook that another friend is throwing Beth a party. Beth says that she still wants the party from Justine because it's just a "small gathering" that this other friend is doing. How can a small gathering happen when it's a public invite on FB? Anyways, what would you recommend Justine and I to do? Justine is very passive and is just like "I'm going to do it because I don't want to make a big deal out of it because there is already so much drama". Which there is between them, hence another reason why I don't think she deserves this party.
So, I guess I just need to know if I'm in the right thinking this way or not. I don't know if there is anything I can do to stop Justine from throwing the party. Maybe if enough people say that she is crazy to still throw her one. But I just need to know if I need to be changing my thoughts on the matter.
Thanks!
Re: Should we still throw her a grad party?
I think it depends on who is going to attending each party. If it's the same group of people being invited to each one, I would talk to the "other friend" and see if you all can join forces for one gathering.
If it's two different groups being invited to each party, I think it would be bad form to back out of a party you've offered to host--unless there are extreme financial circumstances that would prevent Justine from being able to host it. In that case, I would hope your friend would be understanding.
GL!
I would suggest this even if it's different friends - why not just have one big party? I think I kind of agree with OP anyway about this being overkill. Anyway, I would vote contacting the other person who is throwing a party and do one.
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this is flameworthy but here goes
I don't feel that either occassion was worthy of big party...nowadays the standard is becoming a bachelors degree. Not that it's not a good personal goal/achievement, it just doesn't feel at the level where she feels she should feel she deserves, and make others feel she deserves, a party. A GED is meeting some pretty basic requirement, and barring some exceptional circumstance, makes you wonder why the person dropped out to begin with.
So to actually answer your question and stop being so opinionated, I would throw her a second "small gathering", don't go balls out on a big party, 2 small parties will equal one. You could even do chips/pretzels, cake, and punch. Do what you can and don't stress
Thank you! I feel the exact same way! Haha.
Thank you ladies for your help. In the end it is technically Justine's party and she has decided to throw it. She says it's less work and stress to throw it then to get the cold shoulder from Beth for not throwing it. Plus she wants to prove that she can throw a better party then the other friend. The other friends party was last night, I didn't go, and I'll probably just make an appearance to see if Justine needs me for anything at her party.
I think you need to find new friends.
Yeah. I know. DH and I are very much stuck in the middle of groups right now. All our childhood friends are still single and tend to act like teenagers most of the time. And then all married friends we know are a bit older with kids. I'm just waiting for my single friends to catch up...not that we are super mature but we just have different priorities.