So I had an eventful, emotionally exhausting day yesterday.
I met up with my dad and his new GF for breakfast. (They were visiting Boston.) For those of you who don't know, my dad has been married and divorced three times. The most recent divorce was less than a year ago.
So, I was really nervous about meeting #4. We went to breakfast, and upon ordering, I noticed that they were both wearing wedding rings. My dad's was a simple white gold with yellow gold edging. #4's ring was a diamond eternity band...with each diamond probably being at least 1/4 ct. So, needless to say, it was not a cheap ring. So, after I internally have a heart attack, I confront them. I ask why they're wearing wedding bands. They chuckle, tell me I'm observant, and then say that they're not married. They live together. And they claim to be wearing the wedding bands to prevent the gossipy Portuguese from gossiping about them.
I asked "Are you really sure you're not married?" They said they were sure and they wouldn't lie to their kids. So, I put it out of my head and had a nice breakfast with them. I showed them around Boston and we actually had a great time. I actually like #4 as a person, which I really didn't think I would.
But now that I've had some time to reflect on it, I still don't know if I believe them. Who buys a diamond ring that HAD to cost at LEAST $3000 for the sole purpose of shutting up gossipy people?
What are your thoughts on this?
Re: Married...or not??
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What possible motivation could they have for lying to you?
Lots of people exchange rings as a sign of their commitment; lots of people who have been married morer than once don't want to sign up for yet another legal marriage, but want to express their feelings for each other in a public way. Wearing each other's rings is romantic; doesn't mean they're married.
In the county I live in, we can look up public records on-line. Why don't you check and see if anything has been filed? Then you will have your legal answer.
And...I'd be rolling my eyes myself.
That was my first impression, too.
And I've known non-married couples who wear rings.
How do you know he even bought her this ring? maybe she bought it herself. Maybe she's had it for years. Did they tell you they bought these rings for each other or something? It just seems like an odd paring of rings (the inexpensive one with the expensive one) if they bought them together. You know?
It's not that weird to wear rings to keep the gossipers at bay. I wore my wedding ring in Japan before I was married for the same reason. The little town I was living in frowned upon couples living together before marriage--and I was a teacher and had an extra "responsibility" as a public servant and a role model for the kids in my village.
Maybe she carries a loupe around with her.