Am I crazy for thinking this is too many people?

wweaver0

My friend was discussing her guest list for her baby shower, and she said she's thinking of inviting 100 people.

Am I out of touch for thinking this is an insane amount of people for a shower?

I can't afford that, and will have that discussion with her as soon as I can develop a tactful and loving way to communicate that to her.  I just want to make sure I'm not the only one who thinks this way...

WishesSheCouldCook

yes, that is way too many people. I would suggest offering to do a target group one so that limits the guest list some.

jdbmjm

I am supposed to be co-hosting a baby shower for my brother with my aunt. He gave us a list of 75 people. We told him he needs to figure something else out, cause that's not going to happen. But this is only one of the many, MANY problems we are having with the whole thing. 

BlackDiamond3201

It is a lot of people. How are the numbers broken up - friends, family, coworker, etc...? What is the likelihood that all of those people will show up?

BlackDiamond3201

Is your friend an only child? Does she have any family to throw a family shower and then you can throw a friend shower?

Maybride2

Yes, 100 people for a shower is ridiculous. As a guest, I wouldn't even want to attend such an atrocious giftgrab.

You can't tell me that she seriously has 100 super close female family and friends - sounds like she's inviting every girl she knows.

casmgn

"Friend, my budget only can accommodate x number of guests. Let me know who you want to keep on the guest list."

wweaver0

See, that's the thing--I thought I had narrowed it down already!  Two other girls and I are hosting a church shower for her.  It's only people from church, and she's wanting to invite 100 people!  It seems like gift-grabbing to me, too.

I'm seeing her at church this morning, so I'm going to say something like, "I don't think we'll be able to afford that many people, but let me get together with the other girls to really talk it over."

SBS0628

Is it a big church? One where most of the members are very involved with one another?

It seems like a ridiculous number, but since it's a church shower, I hesitate to call it "gift-grabby" not knowing the girl. A friend of mine was a member of a very large church -- the kind of place where everyone knew everyone (and everyone's business). When she had a church bridal shower, she invited a small group of women. Other women were HIGHLY offended they weren't included; they considered it a slight. Is there a chance she's worried about this? Have you considered how excluding part of a group of people who socialize weekly will impact the party?

I am not suggesting 100 people is normal, nor am I suggesting you should try to make it happen! It's very generous of you to offer to throw this party, and you should do what you can afford. But if it is a situation where non-invited people might get offended, I just caution you to plan accordingly -- mail the invitations rather than handing them out a church; host it somewhere non-church related (someone's home or a restaurant, not the church conference room); etc.

lsgarver

100 people is INSANE.  As a hostess, I can't imagine trying to coordinate and feed 100 guests.  As a guest, I can't think of a more boring party than watching someone open 100 gifts.

Like SBS said, the church thing throws me off a bit--is it the kind of thing where every female member expects to be invited?  If so, can you get away with having it in the church hall with just cake and punch?  If not, I'd just tell her there's no way you can swing that and she can either invite fewer people (give her a max number) or she can decline your offer to host and you'll understand.

wweaver0

It's is a bigger church, but not really the kind where everyone knows everyone.  She has done some work with the youth, though, so maybe that's what is making this so crazy (knowing parents and youth girls, I guess)?

Good idea about just cake and punch--two other girls are helping me with this, so I'm going to get with them and see what they're comfortable with.

Thanks for the input and advice, ladies!

mgfit1

wow...I can't imagine thinking someone hosting a shower for me would pay for 100 people. She is out of touch with reality....a bit selfish or something.  I would be honored to have someone offer to host a shower for me and would ask them what they were comfortable with.  You will need to find a tactful way to tell her that you would like to host a quality shower for her but that won't allow you to host 100 people.  Come up with a number or range you can do reasonably and give that to her.  She needs to understand.....that's nuts..100 people???  Really?

Wine Enthusiast

wweaver0:

It's is a bigger church, but not really the kind where everyone knows everyone.  She has done some work with the youth, though, so maybe that's what is making this so crazy (knowing parents and youth girls, I guess)?

Good idea about just cake and punch--two other girls are helping me with this, so I'm going to get with them and see what they're comfortable with.

Thanks for the input and advice, ladies!

 I can see that excluding church people could offend some people so I would make it a very simple and short shower with that many people.  I would suggest hosting something at the church if there is a room you can use and like pp stated- cake/punch (but would include "refreshments", some additional cookies/muffins/etc).  I would also say something like "help the environment and dont waste wrapping paper; bring your gift unwrapped!" so that she isnt opening gifts for 2-3 hours because noone wants to sit through that.

Kaywill27

I just attened a baby shower for a friend with about 45 people in attendance.  I thought that was way too many.  The mother to be was a little over whelmed with all the gifts.  She opened gifts forever and not many people  were paying  attention to her.  It was more like a LOUD get together than a nice shower.

SusanH.

No,you are not crazy.  That is about 75 people too many in my opinion!

GatorWedsNole

If I understood correctly, the church hall is available to you - so location isn't an issue?

I think 100 people is doable if  you change the type of shower that you're having.

Let's say, you were going to provide a full meal at a 25-woman shower.  How much would you spend on food?  I would venture to say $150 - $200 for a low-cost meal.

Well, I think you can still spend that much on 100 people if you have a refreshments shower.  How about calling it "treats & toasts" or "drinks & dessert" You can serve sparkling apple cider/sparkling flavored water/flavored iced teas and cookies, cupcakes, brownies, candy.  They can be a mix of store-bought, home-made and even pot luck.  I can definitely imagine a bunch of youth girls getting excited about baking cookies for the brides shower.

For decor, a banner, a vase with store-bought flowers, and maybe a pretty table cloth for the dessert table.  I would skip favors altogether and probably skip opening 100 gifts.  I would however suggest "activities" that can be done at individual pace for that shower feel.  Maybe a station for well-wishes, a pool where guests guess the due date and baby weight.

I'm not going to call the bride crazy yet.  But if she wants more than a refreshments shower, then I'd be comfortable calling her crazy.

Hope this helps.  GL!