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How to pry the food out of MOB's control?
So, I posted on here a couple week's ago that I'm the MOH in my cousin's wedding. Well, the MOB (mother of the bride) used to own a catering company and looooves to cook. Now our family does large gatherings all the time, so we all kind of know what we do best, and do it. My aunt loves coordinating all of these things and making most of the food for these events.
Well, we're planning the bridal shower, and everyone (except the MOB) has agreed that we don't want her doing anything. We want her to relax and enjoy this special event for her only daughter. We have tried very nicely to tell her that we are doing the food and she doesn't have to worry about it. She asked my mom what kind of food we're having, and my mom (who had already discussed with the bride) told her not to worry about it, that we have it covered. But nothing seems to get her to relax. She's not being mean, she fully says she trusts us to do it. She just doesn't know how to not handle the food.
Any advice on how to get her to relax and enjoy the day without worrying about the food? The food really is the only thing she won't let go of, so I guess that's good. But we'd rather her let go of everything and just relax.
Re: How to pry the food out of MOB's control?
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I see your point about it not being a chore for her. We just know she loves doing it, but also has a ton of other stressers going on right now (whole wedding is being planned in 3 months). But you're right, for her it might be more of a relaxing thing. And I like the idea of assigning her a dish and letting her contribute. That way she could contribute without stressing about everything. Thanks for the advice!
This exactly.
Maybe you can sugges that she make something that she can make ahead of time - so she doesn't have to feel rushed on the day-of. I would let her know what the menu is so she can make something that fits.
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My mom is an event planner also. When I got married, she did almost everything. She would have been miserable if she hadn't been able to contribute, because it is her passion and talent. You may actually be taking away her relaxation/enjoyment by preventing her from doing this.
I agree with everyone else -- show her the menu you've created and ask her if there's a dish she'd like to make in order to add/compliment the work you've already done. If she decides she doesn't want to after all, it won't be a big deal since you already were planning on her not cooking. But, if she does want to, you'll be making her very happy and feel included, which is important.
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This exactly. As a caterer/chef myself, if I'd definitely would want to contribute to my child's day because it's what I do for a living and in this case, something the MOB probably does best. Why not let her help or at least feel like she's involved and contributing? Regardless of whatever stresses she has going on, having some involvement in the food may relax her.
I'm the family "cook" for most events and I love it. It is my niche, it is something I am really good at, and it's more like a gift I can give others than a chore.
I'm a MOB and while I think your intentions are sweet, I'd be pretty upset if I couldn't do the food for my last DD's shower. Ask the MOB what dish she would like to bring rather than assigning her one. I'm guessing this is something that is really important to her.
I am hosting my niece's bridal shower in August and she would like a Mexican theme. I just sat down here to take a break after my first try at churros for the dessert buffet. I totally get where the MOB is coming from. Let her help.