How would you feel about this? (sex related)

law67

I saw this on one of the other boards over the weekend but can't remember which one.

A woman's husband secretly videotaped her while they were having sex. She ended up seeing the camera and got very upset. He told her that because they have sex infrequently, something that she admits to, he wanted to have it to use at his own convenience. She was outraged about the secretive taping and so were many people who responded to her post.

What do you guys think about this?

macdidlyicious

Odd. I wouldnt be okay with that.

MBMcC421

I think I might be in the moral minority here but I don't think it's THAT bad....

Being in a similar position as this woman where sex is infrequent, I know my husband has his personal needs he likes to take care of at his own convenience, and if he would prefer a video tape of us having sex over internet porn, well then, power to him!

The only downside would be the secrecy of the video taping.  Why the husband didn't ask first, I don't know, unless he knew his wife would object for a number of reasons, and by the looks of it we can kinda see why.

Of course, when in the mood, I'd be that woman who would let her husband take pictures of videos for his private use, so take it for what it is...

K-hart

I hate the idea of secrecy/dishonesty and hiding things from your spouse. I would be outraged. However, if my husband asked me prior, I probably would have agreed and been fine with it.

wamozart12

That's creepy. Yay for him for wanting his wife over porn, though? But taping her without telling her is really not cool. How "infrequent" are they, are we talking days or months? He should either just ask her if they can do it more often, or control himself.

Mrs. Mo

I think it's nice that he is choosing to watch them over some strangers on the interwebs but the secrecy is not cool. Did he think she'd object or that it wouldn't look real enough? Maybe he has a voyorism fetish and likes to pretend he's someone else watching his & his wife get it on? No clue. No matter how you put it, I think he should have at least told her about it, even if he said he wanted to do it at one point but not tell her exactly when so that she wouldn't feel like she had to "act" (ex: scream, make crazy faces, etc)

YouandMe912

I saw that post too and as mad as I would be, I wouldn't immediately divorce like many of the responses were suggesting. I believe she said they do it a few times a month so I have to say that that isn't Sooooo infrequent. It's not like they only do it once a year. I would be bothered by the secrecy of it but I don't think I'd go crazy over it either.

law67

I'm definitely in the minority here as well. I personally don't think it's that big of a deal.

1) I would much rather have my husband watch us having sex than porn, although porn doesn't bother me that much either.

2) I do get where people are coming from on the secrecy aspect but here's my thing...if I knew that Jay was videotaping us having sex all I'd be worrying about is how I looked on the tape! I wouldn't be enjoying myself and I'd be really distracted and that just doesn't sound like something you'd get your jollies to if you're by yourself. I think by not telling me it be a more genuine act and a lot sexier to watch later.

My final thought, I trust Jay whole heartedly and I would never worry about anyone else seeing it and while I might be mad for a hot minute after he told me I think I'd be more flattered than anything else!

Catherine- I don't know what the infrequency was but she did mention that she hates having sex(which may have something to do with the tape issue) so they don't do it as often as her H would like.

Diamond_Doll

I think the secrecy of it is kind of creepy. I don't like my husband hiding things from me, but especially if they have to do with our sex life. It's not grounds for divorce by any means, but it's still uncool.

V- If we were taping it, I'd want to know. I'd want to look my best and do some tricks and things. If he secretly taped me and I discovered it was just boring, hair in a pony tail, missionary sex, then I'd be pissed.... and insecure.

amelianguy

The taping wouldn't bother me, it would be the sneaking around that would make me mad.

 Just ASK!

MBMcC421

Diamond_Doll:

V- If we were taping it, I'd want to know. I'd want to look my best and do some tricks and things. If he secretly taped me and I discovered it was just boring, hair in a pony tail, missionary sex, then I'd be pissed.... and insecure.

For some reason I just pictured you doing backflips while jumping on a bed.  LOL

rach83

K-hart:

I hate the idea of secrecy/dishonesty and hiding things from your spouse. I would be outraged. However, if my husband asked me prior, I probably would have agreed and been fine with it.

I'd feel the same.