help with invite wording...Please

krste78

We are throwing a dinner couples shower for a relative and we are having it at a local restaurant in their banquet room.  We will purchase appetizers and of course dessert/cake, but guests will be responsible for paying for their own entree.  Any advice on wording the invitation appropriatly so guests know they will be paying for their own meals?

 Please and thank you for your help!!

6fsn

You want people to come to an event with a gift AND pay for their own meal?  I don't have wording advice, but I would advise you to rethink this plan.  Either do a happy hour or a dessert party at a non-meal time or have it in someone's home and have a meal you can afford.

GatorWedsNole

I would just suggest ask you to double check with a relative/friend who is attending to double check that this is something that's been done in the past and expected.

I've been to many showers where you pay for your own meal, so this doesn't offend me.  But I know it's a shock to others.

Can you make it an electronic invite?  So people can see that it's a bit less-formal.  Does the restaurant have a website that you can link to?

I would suggest something along the lines of:
"You're invited to a couples shower in honor of Bride & Groom at X restaurant on saturday, 1/1/2011
If you'd like to check out the dinner & drinks menu, go to xrestaurant.com
Please RSVP to Jane at jane@yahoo by 1/1/2011
The happy couple is registered at Bed Bath & Beyond.
Appetizers and dessert will be provided by John & Jane"

 Hope this helps.  GL!

lsgarver

6fsn:

You want people to come to an event with a gift AND pay for their own meal?  I don't have wording advice, but I would advise you to rethink this plan.  Either do a happy hour or a dessert party at a non-meal time or have it in someone's home and have a meal you can afford.

I gotta go with this. You're asking people to come to the event, bring a gift, pay for drinks and pay for meal.  That's a lot.

But, it's also a lot for you to pay for so I'd suggest happy hour.  I've been to "happy hour" parties at restaurants where the host provided an appetizer buffet and the drinks were the responsibility of the guests--that went over well enough.

krste78

Thank you.  I should have provided a few more details.  This is very casual and mainly close friends family, approximately 10-15 couples.  The mother to be wanted a couples shower, however her hubby works odd hrs and on weekends.  She doesn't want a traditional shower and she said a weekend BBQ wouldn't work.  So we thought a quick dinner at a restuarant on a weeknight would be a better option.  However it could be very expensive if we paid for all the entrees.  So thought we'd offer appetizers and dessert/cake and guests could pick up their own entree tab.  I don't think this will be taken as rude as the guest list is primarily close friends and family - I believe they would understand totally.  We're trying to make an odd situation work so this couple can receive great baby gifts.  Especially since she was insisting her husband be there.

6fsn

Something else that is bugging me- Since you are providing apps and dessert, you are essentially forcing people to buy dinner to attend.  A three course meal plus opening presents can't really be faster than dinner in a home or just a cocktail hour somewhere.  Can you skip apps and dessert and see about a fixed menu that you can afford?

SBS0628

What time are you thinking of having it at? Will it absolutely be dinner time (meaning people don't really have a choice but to order) or can it be a little early (5:30 p.m.?) or late (8:00 p.m.?) -- in either of those situations, I think providing appetizers and desserts would be plenty; people might not even want a meal. But if it's between 6:00-7:30, it's really forcing people to buy their own dinner (IMO). So, even for close family/friends, I'm agreeing with 6fsn on this one. I'd be more likely to swing by at another time and/or just send a gift so not to be forced to pay for dinner also.

If you can finagle the time, I might word it like this:

Join Us for a [Happy Hour/Late Night Snack, depending on time] Honoring [Couple's Names] at [Location]. Appetizers and Dessert will be served; Drinks are at each guest's discretion.

If you really want/need to do it at dinner time, I think the other wording about checking out the dinner/drinks menu would get the point across just fine. You may want to run this idea by a few of the potential invitees and/or the guest(s) of honor just to be sure. It would be unfortunate for you to plan the event and have people not show up because they essentially are having to pay to attend. (Or, alternatively, buy something cheaper and/or not provide a gift because they have to pay to attend).  

Maybride2

I'm sorry, but this whole thing seems so incredibly rude. I'm not offended by cash bars at receptions, but even I'd be pretty offended at a cash food shower.

If the guests of honor can't do anything but this, I'd decline hosting a shower at all. Or rather than having it in a restaurant at dinner time, have it at your house in the evening after dinner time.

SusanH.

Rude. period.

Only throw a party you can afford to host. Asking guests to pay for anything is unacceptable to me. 

laurabb

SusanH.:

Rude. period.

Only throw a party you can afford to host. Asking guests to pay for anything is unacceptable to me. 

this

krste78

I guess I was asking for invite wording suggestions, not opinoins on the decision that was made.  Forget I asked.

Maybride2

krste78:

I guess I was asking for invite wording suggestions, not opinoins on the decision that was made.  Forget I asked.

Ok, here:

Please join us for a baby shower honoring Tim and Suzy. Please bring plenty of cash and/or your credit card, because you'll need to pay for your own dinner (but there will be free cake). And please don't forget to bring a present!