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we're moving ::sadface:: (aka me pouring my little heart out on the board in a super long post)
Some of you have been checking in and wondering about Huz's job, so I figured I'd give an update:
So, we find out soon if Huz keeps his job or not. It's been such a roller coaster, and I've hated every second of these "will he, won't he" shenanigans. If we hear bad news, Huz gets laid off next month. If we hear "good news", Huz will keep his job for another year (and we'll go through this again next year) and have to take a pay cut. That cut, combined with the cut he got last year, fewer opportunities for pay jobs, and me not having a job means that it wouldn't be practical or smart to keep living where we do. We did the math, and it just won't work. Either way, we have to move.
So, we're moving in with my inlaws. Both of us, and three bunnies in his tiny little childhood bedroom. Probably by the end of the summer. It's definitely going to be a challenge. We'll have to get rid of almost everything we own except the necessities and our "treasures" (those things that hold a lot of senitmental value). And, it's just really hard on us emotionally to leave our first home together. We got married while living here, and spent our newlywed life here. We brought all the Buns home here. It's our little kingdom.
I've been keeping a list of the positives that will come from this in my head. We'll get to spend more time with my ILs's (whom I love). If Huz keeps his job, we'll be able to help out my IL's financially (since they refuse to charge us rent, we can take on some bills to help.) FIL is a truck driver, and has glaucoma, so he's getting fewer and fewer assignments. MIL is a supervisor at a store and they're cutting her hours too. They're really struggling, and if we don't have all of our living expenses, we'll be able to help them as well as pay off our debt and save. We should also be able to save up to buy a house faster than we can living here and paying rent.
Also, Huz's Grandma lives with my IL's. She is almost 90 and her health is failing. It's such a relief to IL's that one of us will always be home with her (Huz sleeps during the day, and I take classes from home). It will be really great that she'll have company and help during the day, and someone to take her to Dr. appointments. I really love spending time with her, so this is a bonus for me.
We'll be able to help cook, clean, and make improvements around the house. With my IL's health not always the greatest, it will really help them out a lot when Huz and I are there to see what can be done, and then step up and do it.
One of the things that I'm dreading is not having my kitchen (I love my cupcake kitchen! And I love having my own space to bake and experiment). It will take some getting used to for three women to share one kitchen, when we all have our own methods. We won't really be guests, and they want me to feel at home, so it will take time for us to develop our own system.
My biggest concerns are for my Huz and my Bunnies. I hate that The Buns won't have as much space to run and play as they do now. It makes me so sad. They'll have to stay in our little room b/c IL's have an indoor cat and outside dog that will not be bunny friendly. I feel so bad for uprooting them from the only real home they've ever known and giving them a tiny little space to live, when they have no choice in the matter. And, I feel like Huz feels like a failure (even though absolutely none of this is his fault), and there's nothing I can do to help. I'm trying to have a positive attitude, and let him know that, aside from my concerns for him and the Buns, I really don't mind it. But, I can tell that he feels really bad, and it's a big blow to his pride, even though there's nothing he could have done differently. It breaks my heart. I wish there was something I could do.
I've been praying and asking for strength to make the absolute best of the situation. It will be good for us to live more simply. It will be good for us to be surrounded by family instead of stuff. Even though I know the road ahead is going to be a struggle, I am so thankful I have an amazing Huz, and wonderful family who will take us in. Even though the circumstances suck, I'm glad for the opportunity to reflect on what is really important to us, and live it out.
I am trying my best not to be bitter toward the city leaders. I know their decisions are not a personal attack against us. But, with all of this going on, it sometimes really feels like they don't value what my husband does. It makes him feel disposable. And that's a really crappy way to feel about the city and people you risk your life for every night. I have faith, and I know we'll be okay. We know that it's God, not the city who is our Sustainer and Provider. But, there are a lot of families out there who may not feel comforted by that. And there are a lot of famillies who are losing relatives and loved ones (and not just jobs) because of the escalating violence. I'm so very thankful that this is the situation we have to deal with (it's really just money), and I pray for those who are dealing with the fallout of an increasingly unsafe city.
So, that's all. Thanks for letting me get it all out. If you read all of that craziness, you deserve a thousand-times-over-pinned-on-Pinterest-super-impressive-cupcake.
Re: we're moving ::sadface:: (aka me pouring my little heart out on the board in a super long post)
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Thanks H! I really hope I get to see you too! I can't believe you guys are moving so fast! (Well, I guess it seems fast and like time totally flew by!)
And, I have to say, being a part of this community, and having a peek into the lives of other nesties has really taught me to be thankful for what I have, and to believe that everything will be okay eventually. You guys handle each crisis and difficult situation with such grace and class, and it's been such an inspiration to me. There have been lost homes, jobs, pets, SO's, babies, and parents, as well as big moves, sickness and natural disasters, and I've seen everyone be so strong through it all. I've prayed for you guys and seen you all come through so many different situations, that it's definitely built up my faith. I've gained such insight from all of your experiences, and I really appreciate it. I love that this is a wonderful place to give and receive support from some amazing women.
I totally agree! It really does make you realize that everyone goes through tragedy and difficult situations. It's so important to feel like you aren't alone. I've said it before but I don't know how I would have gotten through our engagement time without the Knot/Nest ladies.
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I'm so sorry, Moosie.
And on the morning after the city's 27th homicide of the year. Does the city really think now's a good time to be cutting police services? ... I know I'm preaching to the choir though. Just wanted to say that it makes me angry too, even though I don't live or work in that area.
I know things will work out for you guys in the long run. It sounds like things may be challenging for awhile, but hopefully this will open up some amazing doors for you guys that you wouldn't have had otherwise.
If your DH is at all interested, I know BART is hiring laterals. I'd be happy to put your DH in touch with mine if he'd like to explore it at all.
And let me know if there's anything else I can do!
(((Hugs M))) I know you'll have a positive attitude throughout this change and I commend you for that. I'm going through some stuff right now too, and my outlook will eventually be positive, but I had a pity party this weekend. You're entitled. If you bottle up your negative feelings about the situation then that's all you'll feel once it happens. I wish you all the luck in the world that this works out for you, and you get in to your dream house for you, hubby and buns soon.
Ugh, I am sorry you are going through this. Just remember-this is a temporary and what you are doing is to better yourselves. It will be tough to get through but you and the Huz and the Buns will be fine. You are in a loving environment.
Good luck and if you ever need to get out of the house, let me know. We can meet up for some coffee or just hang out.
((hugs))
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Oh Moosie, I'm sorry you and your little family is going through such a hard times. I can definitely relate. My husband and I were married for just one year when we had to move out of our first home together and back into the "guest apartment" in his parents' garage. It was such a struggle, but we were able to really get a hold of our finances.
We're all here supporting you through this journey. Lots of good wishes for you.
awwww M, i'm so so sorry. i'm praying for you guys, i know things will work out for you.
hugs my dear
xoxo
I had no idea you had all of this going on. I am so impressed and humbled by your attitude towards all of this--you are amazing. I'm sending good thoughts that your husband will get to keep his job and everything works out for you and your family.
I was so glad to read that you get along with all your ILs. With that much love in the family, you guys will find a way to make things work. The bunnies will be grateful to still be with you and not in a shelter somewhere; they'll understand that you're doing the best you can and will love you for it.
Big hugs.
I personally think it is OK to be angry with the city leaders. A little anger at them might do a little good since nothing else seems to be working.
I dunno if your DH has caught wind of the rumors about the "found money" to save jobs. BS. if they really have the money to save the jobs they have had it the whole time and just wanted deeper cuts to an already severely depleted department that is not even standing on both legs...more like one leg with about 3 toes cut off.
Your DH is in Tier 2, so he should be safe this year, and he should spend the rest of this year he has finding a new city/county/gov to work for. Seriously.
Do you read the Vangard? If not, pick up this month's copy and read Beattie's letter. He needs to leave because this city is not going to be there for him. Period.
I realize that my words should be taken with a grain of salt as I have a mix of emotions myself, I am angry that all of my classmates will be out of jobs (in theory) and yet I will still be getting my "paychecks" (workers comp disability pay). That hardly seems fair. My huz keeps bringing home less and less pay. it is hard.
We are all going through this together and you know I am always here for you. Always.
If your huz needs help finding a new job, hit up Dani about her huz's agency, or you can call me if he wants out of PD all together....and if he wants to stay in it then I can txt you the agencies that are hiring when I hear about it (I know people at multiple agencies and they always notify me if their agency or an agency they know of is hiring). Also, consider federal. If you request the Bay Area you pretty much get it because they always need people willing to work here, the pay is not as good, but there is PAID OVER-TIME! Something we dont get here. I can put him in contact with a bunch of agents who can talk to him about their jobs if he wants.
Ok, I will shut up now, you have my number and email. I am here, even if you just need to feel sorry or angry for a few minutes to burn that steam.
Money Matters The other half's blog.
EJ is growing up too fast!
I'm so sorry that it's come to this for you guys M. You do have an amazing attitude towards it, and I know it wont be forever, but I can still imagine how tough it must be. Reading about how A is feeling broke my heart a little bit. So unfair. I know you guys are strong and will get through it.
When will you be moving? There's no room for furniture or anything like that, but you are more than welcome to use the room and closet I'm staying in at my mom's house while I'm there to store some of your things if you need the space. I won't have any stuff at all, so there will be plenty of room. Let me know.
Hang in there, I'm thinking of you guys and hoping for the best.
Ok, selfish moment: I was sooo worried that you meant moving far away. Like to another state, and I was sad!
I'm sorry that you guys are going through this. I really admire your positive attitude through all of this. It will be a good thing to help H's family, and to save some for yourselves also. In these uncertain times I really don't think it's a bad thing that we are relying more on our families, it gets us back to a much more grounded place IMO. I hope that staying with them is short lived and that your city gets their act together soon! I'm glad we'll still have you here, and remember that you have us to lean on as you guys adjust to your new life!
PS: You can certainly bring the buns to my house for some yard time :-)
Oh my goodness, thank you all so much for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers! You guys totally blow me away. You rock!
ETA: Dani and K, once the shock wears off from all this, I'll make sure to mention your suggestions and offers to Huz. I think he'll be less stressed, and a little more open and receptive if I let him know about these options a little later. Thanks you so much though for keeping us in mind!
I have very little advice, but lots and lots of hugs.
And to say that downsizing the amount of stuff you own can be liberating. And maybe you can find a way to incorporate some of your cupcake-kitchenery into your ILs kitchen?
Good luck!