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how to turn down something politely so no one is hurt?
My husband gave me a heads up that today when we go over to his parents for father's day his mom is going to ask if I want to go see this touristy place that's a couple of hours from our house with her and my husband's sister, girls day out. He was over at their house and I guess she had asked him if I had seen that city before...
I have a great relationship with my MIL and SIL (and her 3 year old daughter), never had any problems with them, but we're not like friends if that makes sense? We're respectful of each other and have never walked on each others toes or hurt each other in anyway and I enjoy occasional dinners or parties with them but we're not buddy buddy type is that makes sense?
Anyway, I'm puzzled how to tell them no politely so they don't get hurt. To be honest, since I've been unemployed for 4 months, I am going through a rough patch emotionally and don't really want to hang out with anyone outside my husband and immediate family members. My husband says just tell them you don't want to do it, but I am afraid they might get hurt.
Re: how to turn down something politely so no one is hurt?
Craft Blog
I agree with your H.
"Thanks for thinking of me, but I am afraid I am going to have to decline. Have a great time."
Don't elaborate or give a reason.
Yeah just say you can't make it or have plans. No details, just be vague.
However, the way to become closer to people is by spending time with them.
But... yeah, at the same time, if you want to perhaps get closer to them, this could be a great opportunity to do so.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Either suck it up and go ( you may be surprised and have a nice time) or politely say "thank you for thinking of me, but no thank you".
DO NOT make up an excuse or say you are busy that day. They may ask you when a better time for you would be and change it to accommodate your schedule.
This.
If you are consistently feeling down in the dumps you may want to speak to a professional once or twice. You could be suffering from a mild bout of depression. I would suggest honestly, getting out and seeing if it makes you feel better. After a hit to the emotions/ego like unemployment often its best to force yourself to get out of the house every now and then.
If its been a while since you've gotten out and tried something new, then it might help you. I hope you feel better.
Every person is different so take it for what it is worth but I totally understand the feeling blue part of being laid off. I was totally there too. You have to give yourself time to feel sorry for yourself but I know for me, getting out and doing things rather than staying at the house throwing myself a pity party all day made a huge difference!
Perhaps they asked you to come because they know how tough things have been? Perhaps they want to get to know you better because they like you! If you really don't want to go, nobody is forcing you but it could end up being fun.
I think you should go for several reasons - 1) because it sounds like they are making a nice attempt to spend time with you and since you generally like them, it would be nice of you to accept and 2) because you need to get out of the house.
It does sound like you are suffering from depression, and I would advise you to talk to someone about it. If your husband has an EAP at his job, you might be able to talk to someone for free through that.
Just a super negative Nancy that day.
But I sucked it up, got my a$$ moving, and went over to my friends house. As soon as I walked in, my mood flipped immediately. Seeing my friends made me happy, and we ended up having a really nice afternoon/ evening, and I was so SO happy that i went.
I realized getting up and out was exactly what I needed. If I had stayed home, I would have gone into an even deeper funk.
I said something about this to my friends, and the DH - I wish I could remember exactly what he said- but he made a really spot on comment and it was just in reference to about why it's important to have people in your life who love you - because they will be there for you to help you out even if it's just to cheer you up on a bad day.
So really- it might do you even more good than you realize to go.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I think you should go, because of this
did you stop to think that they might be worried about you and are trying to give you some good time, out of the house, get you out of this mood you are? I guess you would have some fun, we all have those kind of moments but even if you're not buddy buddy with them, it's a good chance for that to happen. If you like them, even though aren't your best-friends, why not to go?
When I'm feeling like this, the only thing I want to do is to talk to my FI, he seems the only one to understand me, and give some support. But weeks ago, one of my best friends asked if she could help me to look at wedding dresses, we went out, we ate pizza, talked about other things, laughed, we did have fun! I was surprised and when I got home and talked to my honey, he got so happy for seeing me like this.
But if you really dont wanna go for other reasons, then say.. ''Thankyou for thinking of me, but I'm not going. ''