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how to help my dad?

So, while he's no longer delirious, he's still really sick.  There are several antibiotic resistant infections in his abdominal cavity that they're having a hard time containing and treating.  His pancreas is still super inflamed, so he's not allowed to eat or drink anything (they even have to limit his ice chips).

I went to see him by myself today for the first time (every other time, I'd been with my mom or DH).  He's so depressed.  He got really teary eyed when he was on the phone with my mom (I had to help him--he can't use it on his own yet), then started crying off and on for the rest of the visit.  

My dad is the strongest person I know--but he's not himself.  He's been in the hospital for 2 months now, and is definitely depressed.

I just don't know how to help.  I'm so down after I visit because I just don't know what to do.

 

Re: how to help my dad?

  • When my dad was ill, I brought music to him (made sure his roomate was ok with it first).  You could bring some comforting things from home (a favorite blanket, robe, picture to put on his table, books/magazines to read).  You could decorate the room with balloons, bring dvds if he has a player.  He may need some chapstick or lotion.  I'm sorry he;s going through this, and I know this has to be hard on you too.

     

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  • Does have a TV or DVD player? Maybe you bring him a few of his favorites movies or TV shows - especially frow when he was a kid. Or sports stuff? IDK - I doubt much will really help, except for time and knowing he has your love and support. Sorry
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  • imageglittergal73:

    When my dad was ill, I brought music to him (made sure his roomate was ok with it first).  You could bring some comforting things from home (a favorite blanket, robe, picture to put on his table, books/magazines to read).  You could decorate the room with balloons, bring dvds if he has a player.  He may need some chapstick or lotion.  I'm sorry he;s going through this, and I know this has to be hard on you too.

     

    The problem with bringing stuff from home like blankets, robe, slippers, etc, is that he is super contagious.  We have to gown up (smocks, gloves--the whole nine yards) each time we enter the room, and scrub down before we leave.  So anything that we bring in would have to be thrown away.

    He has a TV, but is having a hard time with figuring out the channels, so he's not watching it.  He doesn't have a DVD player.  

     Chapstick is a great idea--his mouth is getting really dry (he has a naso-gastric tube in, and it really irritates the skin in his nose, mouth, and his lips dry out).  I'll have to see if he would like some music (he doesn't have a roommate because he's contagious).

     

    Thanks for the suggestions :)

  • buy him a DVD player and figure out the channels for him.

    I would still bring some stuff from home even if you can't bring it back.  Having his own stuff at least one or two things would mean alot I'll bet. 

    If you can't bring him "his" stuff, but him some new stuff - like comfortable socks, fleece jacket, etc.

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  • I agree with Kathryn, bring him a few things from home that are familiar, but easy to replace.  Sometimes just having a few tiny things to remind you of home can really make a sterile hospital room feel more relaxing, maybe  picture or two if you can, they dont even need to be framed, maybe they will allow you to tape them to the rails on the bed near his head so all he needs to do is turn is head to see them.

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  • imageCooper81:

    I agree with Kathryn, bring him a few things from home that are familiar, but easy to replace.  Sometimes just having a few tiny things to remind you of home can really make a sterile hospital room feel more relaxing, maybe  picture or two if you can, they dont even need to be framed, maybe they will allow you to tape them to the rails on the bed near his head so all he needs to do is turn is head to see them.

    I think pictures would be great, either just prints that can be taped up, or a cheap photo album, etc.  My dad had spinal surgery in the fall and was in the hospital/rehab for a month and I took him pics of my kids and he showed them to every nurse, phys. therapist, etc. who came in his room.  

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  • I dont really have anything to add to what the other ladies said. i just wanted to say i am sorry to hear about your dad. I know what you are going through. My dad was just diagnosed with Stage 4 Esophageal Cancer. It has just come and hit us out of no where. Like you i dont have any idea what to do to make him feel better. All we can do it hope and pray that they both recover as quickly as possible. T&Ps to your dad and family!
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