Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Still Pissed Off
So my father is a royal piece of crap. Always has been. I decided at the young age of 13 that if he didn't want to be a father to me, I didn't want him in my life! Well, my grandparents stepped in and provided for me since he didn't. My paw paw knows and realizes he's a deadbeat, but my maw maw thinks he walks on water. She didn't speak to me for a few weeks when I announce I was getting married and he wouldn't be walking me down the aisle. Well, she called me yesterday (and when I answered she told me she was probably going to piss me off) and requested that I call him to wish him a Happy Father's Day. It took everything in me not to respond with 'did you tell him to call me on my birthday the last 2 years, because I sure as hell did not receive a phone call'. She blames my mother and I for the lack of a relationship. I have always bit my tongue when this subject arises, but I'm getting tired of it, and I am afraid that I will lose it on her one day. Out of 'respect for my elders', I have not yet. Just had to get that out!
Re: Still Pissed Off
Why blame the cause of the problem when you can blame everyone else around 'em?
But then, of course, you don't have to face reality and your own insecurities about failing to raise a child to adulthood. I mean you can fill-in as parents for years, but it never lets you shake the feeling that you failed to raise a son to be a father. That you're a huge failure. And it's everyone else's fault, too.
I'm of the opinion that someone doesn't deserve unconditional respect simply because they are older than you.
She is going to continue to push this until you stand up to her.
"Grandma, I am choosing as an adult to not have a relationship with my father. You don't have to like it, but you do have to respect it."
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
All of this, but I wanted to include that someone doesn't deserve unconditional respect just because they are family too. You earn that with your family as well.
"Mawmaw, I love you, but that doesn't mean that I will choose to have a relationship with your son. Please respect my choice, or I will be forced to limit contact with you."
Just b/c your grandparents provided for you when you are a child doesn't mean that you owe them a relationship between you and their toxic son.