Cashing wedding checks

unionbay7

My DH's best man got married to DH's cousin last month and we did not go to the wedding (long story) but we mailed them a card and a check.  His best man gave us an overgenerous gift for our wedding so we sent back the same amount to him.  The wedding was May 14th and we mailed it the day before the wedding.  I know they were on their honeymoon for a week after the wedding, but it has been over a month since and the check has still not been cashed.

 I just remember after our wedding making it a priority to deposit any checks because a lot of people like to balance their checkbooks.  Every time I say something to DH about it he just says to relax but I am concerned that maybe they didn't get the card in the mail.  If it wasn't lost, I am kind of annoyed that every time I look at our bank account I have to remember that check is still outstanding.  But I am not exactly on speaking terms with his cousin and DH refuses to call her or his friend to ask about it.

Long post short, in your opinion, what is a realistic amount of time to expect someone to deposit checks after a wedding?  Thanks!

Joanis018

DH and I deposited everything a couple days after we got back from our HM.  I have one friend who doesn't deposit checks until she sends out thank you notes, but then never gets around to sending out TYs, so she never deposits the checks...

I think some people just don't realize that other people are waiting for them and it's not a top priority.

jcsntms06

I would of normally cash the check as soon as I got them. Our wedding was on a Saturday and we didn't leave for our Honeymoon until Monday, so most likely we cashed them probably the week after our honeymoon. I would probably give them a little more time, then have your DH call his cousin/his friend.

KathrynMD

LOL - I feel like it looks greedy if I cash a check right away.  So. .. yeah, I don't think a month is that long. 

Can neither of you pick up the phone or email them to see if they got the check? 

gracie2762

It's only been a month so I wouldn't worry about it yet. I'm sure they're probably waiting to send out their thank you cards first before cashing the checks.

jadebaby

I know a lot of banks dont let you deposit checks made out to "Mr & Mrs. Unionbay" until the wife gets her name changed, gets her DL changed to reflect the new name (which I think they require a new SSN card) and the banks require a marriage certificate too. That is to say that the two are on a joint account. They probably wont allow just Mr. Unionbay to deposit checks made out to both into an account that just he is on. And vice versa.

So it may take time for people to get to the SSA, then to the MVA, then to their bank. Just a thought.

unionbay7

KathrynMD:

LOL - I feel like it looks greedy if I cash a check right away.  So. .. yeah, I don't think a month is that long. 

Can neither of you pick up the phone or email them to see if they got the check? 

I've asked DH about it and he thinks we should just keep waiting.  We kinda do the whole "You deal with your family and I'll deal with mine" so I'm trying to wait patiently.  If the check was smaller, honestly, it probably wouldn't bother me so much.  I just hate writing checks for this reason, I am afraid I will forget about it and then not leave enough in there to cover it. 

ucgrad

jadebaby:

I know a lot of banks dont let you deposit checks made out to "Mr & Mrs. Unionbay" until the wife gets her name changed, gets her DL changed to reflect the new name (which I think they require a new SSN card) and the banks require a marriage certificate too. That is to say that the two are on a joint account. They probably wont allow just Mr. Unionbay to deposit checks made out to both into an account that just he is on. And vice versa.

So it may take time for people to get to the SSA, then to the MVA, then to their bank. Just a thought.

This is right. If you made the check out to Mr. and Mrs. Newlastname, then it could be a hold up. You can sometimes get a check through, but the cashier is really supposed to be dilligent about looking at each check.

weezie825

I didn't have any problem cashing the checks and I had no intention of changing my name.  The teller asked me to sign my name the way it was written on the check AND my normal (on file) signature. 

I have been a bank customer for 15 years, so maybe that helped!

lsgarver

I don't think it's weird at all but I also hold on to checks forever.  I personally am one of those people who would think it was rude to cash the check before sending a thank you note and a month is pretty standard for wedding thank yous.

camdenfaithful

lsgarver:

  I personally am one of those people who would think it was rude to cash the check before sending a thank you note and a month is pretty standard for wedding thank yous.

Ditto this.  We didn't cash any checks from our wedding until our TY notes were in the mail.  I even felt strange doing that, but figured people would see the check was cashed and a day or 2 later see the TY note.

AKBrideinMD

I also hate waiting for checks to be cashed and try to do them pretty quickly, but I also try to send out TY notes (at least for checks) pretty quickly so they clear about the same time they receive the card. Our wedding was on a Saturday and we didn't leave for our HM until Thursday, so I think we deposited the checks on a Tuesday or a Wednesday and sent those TY notes around the same time. I would also be annoyed if I were you, but based off of the responses maybe a month isn't abnormal...

blondeintgeragrl

It was about 4 weeks after the wedding that we did ours. I would have liked to sooner - but honestly we just waited to get my whole name and new account thing resolved. I had a hard time being able to physically go to a bank when its open since the hours suck ass but I didn't want to show 50 checks in an atm envelope.

 

 

unionbay7

Thanks for all the responses.  

@Jade - as a previous banker I actually made the check out to just "Mr. Smith" because i know that can cause problems and figured since he wasn't changing his name it would be easiest.  I need to just relax and wait a bit longer.  I guess after my wedding I was just really on top of the banking aspect since, at the time, I worked at a bank. Thanks again ladies.

madladybride

I am in the minority, but we deposited them all the next day. (We were married on a Sunday in Pittsburgh, PA). Our TY's went out 3 weeks later. To be fair, we left for our 2 wk HM on Wednesday. After we  returned, we drove home to North Dakota (which took 2 days). I'd rather have people cash checks right away, as I hate worrying about them. Because of this, I usually just give cash, no matter what the amount.