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whiney sad post
I'm feeling a little down here. My mom and dad finally had to put my Mawmaw and uncle into a nursing home. I just need to voice my feelings a little and get this emotion out. It's been a rough day with the kids and J is at work and yeah... I just need someone to hear me.
Back story: my mawmaw has Alzheimer's and my uncle (her son, my mom's younger brother) is mentally handicapped - he is 50 or so years old and has lived with my mawmaw his entire life obviously. When my mawmaw was diagnosed with Alzheimer's my mom and dad moved her and my uncle from their apartment here in LA up to Missouri with them. After a year of her slipping further away and even becoming dependent on my mom to bathe her and dress her, they finally said they couldn't handle it anymore. My mom's siblings, who both live down here, can't take on the responsibility of caring for them either and having the two of them live with them so it's left up to my parents.
I know my mom has been having a very hard time with this. It's been mentally and physically taxing on her, but I am thankfull that she finally gave in (and gave up?). I feel it will for sure extend her own life. She often said how caring for them was like having two full grown adult-toddlers. The home they are both in is literally two blocks from my parents' house - I google-earthed it. Ha. So they are close, and they have 24 hour access, etc and have been to visit often. But nonetheless it's very sad.
My mom sent me pictures of my mawmaw and my uncle today in their rooms at the home. I was astounded at how my mawmaw looked... it just didn't look like her. I'm sad that if I were to visit, she wouldn't know me. She wouldn't know my children. She doesn't even know my mom most days. Or my uncle. I just, I don't know, ache for them right now. I grew up in my mawmaw's house - I mean we all (my cousins and I) did. That's who babysat us, that's the house we gathered in on Sunday's and holidays. My brother lived with her for several years (of course he's been gone for nearly six years now) and I don't know. It just sucks growing up right? Getting older... losing family. I'm terrified of getting the call from my mom, hearing that my mawmaw has passed away, but I know it's coming. I haven't had to deal with death much. My brother's death was not expected - it was sudden and I still don't feel closure with it. But this whole waiting and expecting it thing...
Bllaaahhh this just sucks. I know my mom meant well by sending the pictures, but I really wish she hadn't. I was kind of removed from it all, you know? Being down here, away from them, not seeing my mawmaw slip away. 
I'm gonna go take a shower, cry it out, and have a glass (oh hell more like two) of wine.
Re: whiney sad post
That's so very difficult-- for everyone... you, your Mom, the family. I know from my own grandmother's last years, the nursing home route is just dreadfully hard. But sometimes it really is the right thing-- full time, healthy, professional caregivers. I'm sure your Mom struggled w/ the decision, but it sounds like she made the right choice for everyone, close and a good facility. Doesn't make it easy though. I'm sorry.
Wish you and your family the best during this difficult time.
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
I know exactly how you feel though because this VERY similar to what I went through with my dad. I've also been in the position your parents are and let me tell you it's one of the hardest things I will have ever done in my life. I was 18 when my dad need that kind of help and I definitely had that adult-toddler experience.
If you ever need to talk about things, you can always talk to me. *hugs*
Blog!
i'm so sorry...that sounds like a really rough situation. <<hugs>> hang in there.