We screwed up a good thing - LOOOOOONG

AnnieME

Last night, I had a migraine so bad I honestly thought I was dying.   It was worse than giving birth.  So Joe did dinner and our bedtime routine all by himself.  I have been selfish the last 14 months and have rocked Nolan to bed every night.  Obviously when I was nursing, that's just the way it was.  We did the whole Ferber thing when he was about 8 months old knowing that I would be weaning him off nursing and we didn't want him to depend on that.  Ferber was very successful and very easy.  Nolan took to the new routine pretty immediately.  We dropped the final nighttime bottle about 2 weeks ago.  Again, Nolan adjusted pretty easily.   BUT through everything, I've always been the one to take him in his room and rock him for bedtime.    At least half a dozen people have put him down for naps no problem.  I don't know why I thought he'd be able to handle a small switch like Daddy putting him down.  I also don't think it helped that he saw me crying and in such distress with the migraine.  Also, Joe was on edge trying to do it all himself and get Nolan to bed quickly so he could come help me.   Well, the poor kid cried bloody murder, even with Joe in the room with him.  Joe finally came and got me (luckily I was starting to come down the other side of the migraine at his point and could muster up the energy).   Unfortunately at this point, the trauma had already set in.   Nolan was inconsolable.   I could not get him to calm down and he was gripping my shoulders, staring at me and crying hysterically.   It was heart-breaking.   We brought him out to the living room and let him hang out for a little bit.  Then we tried to re-do the routine.  NOPE.  Not buying it.  So again to the living room.   He played and played for at least another hour.  At this point, I decided I would just stick to my guns.   He cried for a few minutes in my lap, then put his puppy in his mouth and fell asleep in my arms. He was just too tired to fight anymore.   I put him in the crib asleep, and he slept fine the rest of the night.   Tonight, we stuck with our normal routine and he was going with the flow right up until we walked through his door.   He immediately started crying.   I rocked him and rocked him and he would not calm down.  But I was not leaving the room this time.  I didn't want him to start thinking he can just leave whenever he throws a fit.  So he cried in my arms for almost 45 minutes before finally laying his head on my shoulder and conking out.  Again he was asleep when I put him in the crib.   And his cry is nothing I've ever heard before.  You can tell that he's terrified, absolutely terrified.  I am so sad for him.   He's been falling asleep on his own for 6 months and now it's worse than it's ever been.   I feel like right now, while he's so fragile, I'm not doing another Ferber routine.   But at the same time, I feel like rocking to sleep again is a big step back.    PLUS we are going away Thursday for almost a week!  And I know that's going to throw him off even more.  I know there's a phase toddlers go through with sleep disturbances, but  I thought it was more around 18 months and this would be entirely coincidental.  I also know eventually, we will have to try switching up our bedtime routine again with Daddy putting him to bed, but not right now.  I feel like we need to get through this first.   ANY advice on how to proceed????  Anyone ever have an issue with anything like this?    Thanks, girls!  

katsblaze

I have  not advice, but wanted to let you know you are NOT alone. I am right there with you.  One of my boys will only STTN if he is in my bed, next to me.  He screams bloody murder when you put him in his crib.  I am going to be trying sleep training again with him, as his brother sleeps just fine.  That would be the only suggestion I have for you, is keep trying.  Sorry I am not much help.

grahamsm3

no advice, but it sounds like you have had a horrible 2 nights. I can't imagine a distressed crying baby and a migraine together.