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My extremely dysfunctional family...
I have a small scattered dysfunctional family. Basically people live all over the country and we are not close by any means. However my grandpa lives in the same town as me and my mom lives about and hour and a half away.
My aunt and her family used to live with my grandpa about 10 years ago. My grandparents have been divorced forever. Probably 25 years. In that whole time my grandpa has never had a girlfriend. I have no idea why he has always been extremely anti social. No friends or girlfriends to speak of.
My aunt has two daughters. At the time they lived with my grandpa they were about 10 years old maybe. While my aunt and uncle worked they spent a lot of time alone with my grandpa. One day my aunt and uncle picked up and moved out of the state. The explanation I got from my mom was that my grandpa tried to molest the girls. They told their mom that he asked them to go in his bed and take their underwear off.
That's pretty much all of the details I have. From the little info I have I gather that nothing actually happened because the girls were smart enough to tell their parents.
Well FF 10 years later they never pressed charges. And basically everyone acts like nothing happened. All of my aunts and uncles and my mom just treat him like nothing happened. Very rarely do I have family parties but when I do my mom usually brings my grandpa a long. Which I guess is ok but I really have not forgiven him like apparently everyone else has and I don't particularly care to have him around. Albeit he is elderly and in poor health. I just don't understand how everyone has just forgiven him. The girls mother was just here from out of state visiting him. She only comes around once in a blue moon but even that surprises me. She has divorced their father and recently remarried so she came with just her and her new husband.
Anyhow, how should/would you act towards your grandpa in this situation?
Re: My extremely dysfunctional family...
But I have to be honest and say that there is a bit of a disconnect w/ your story. this happened 10 years ago and you're NOW wondering what to do/ how to act around your grandfather?
Also, at the same time, you're basing this all on hearsay. Hearsay where even the people affected by him will still come around and be around him....
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I would have investigated more. Found out the truth, and decided then.
But since you didn't, I would keep all kids away from him and I would think twice about ever helping him, and second think letting anyone young help him. My FI had to help his Grandpa in the bathroom at every family get-together when he was getting up there. After he died, his Grandma told everyone he had molested their aunt. To this day, FI is still upset about it about ten years later. Certain family had heard rumors, let him take care of the old deviant, and let his Grandpa be alone with him. But he did say it explained when such an old man had so many toys and new video games.
Thanks ladies. I guess I was just more venting. He is in very poor health and it seems like my mom and sister expect me to worry about him and help him out and like I said I have no interest in hanging out with a child molestor who has never been a real grandfather figure to me.
Yes, I agree I would never leave my children alone with him. Though he is very old and frail now and I would like to think that was an isolated incident. But of course I would never take a chance.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10