wedding question***

kacasey276

This is more of a "what would you do" question.. If someone traveled to your our of town wedding, is it imperative that you do the same?

The reason I ask is this:

Mutual friends of DH and I are having their vow renewal/big wedding in August in Michigan. (We live in the San Diego area). Ive been looking for plane tickets for about 3 months now and havent seen anything for under 500 a pop, plus a hotel room. It turns out that DH wont be able to go with me since he will be in training. This trip would be a Friday to Sunday trip, with travel all day Friday and all day Sunday. I am really trying to makie this work but I dont know if I can justify 700ish+ dollars on a weekend.  What would you guys do? And what do you think is proper protocol?

iluvmytxrgr

I wouldn't be able to do it, if it were me.  If you decide you can't swing it, I would send her a nice gift along with a note to let her know that you really wanted to be there but could not work it out.  I don't think there is any etiquette on it if you can't afford to go. 

kacasey276

Yeah I think you may be right. Its unfortunate because I would love to be there. All of our friends are on the other coast :P  Im hoping there is some ridiculously cheap flight out there that I can find.

mysticl

I don't think I would go.  True friends will understand the situation.  Include a note with with the RSVP, that made me fell way better about the "declines" we got.  By not going you can afford to send a much nicer gift.  

kacasey276

I think the nicer gift is the way to go.. thank you!!

ksrawr

I wouldn't go and just send a nice gift.  We had an out of town wedding this past weekend we couldn't go to.  I am planning on sending them a gift later in the week (or next) once I decide what i want to give them.  I told them last month we couldn't come and they understood. 

kristend33

Another vote for sending a nice gift.

I really hope you can find a cheap flight!  But if you can't afford it, you can't afford it.  I'm sure they'll understand; it's just one of those sucky parts of living away from friends

Good luck!

gumby22c

I had this situation arise just recently. I had a friend who came to our wedding. She lived in the same town as us at the time. She got married this past weekend and invited us. But now we are 2,000 miles away and since we just made a PCS we don't really have the money to fly me home. And I'd be going by myself since H can't really take off to go. I had to decline and sent a nice gift instead. I felt bad but she was really understanding about it, (or at least she acted like it).

sweetface83

I vote for sending a nice gift and explaining about your finances.  Hopefully, the bride and groom will understand, given the times and all.

HPlowman

Many couples today, especially with the economy, understand the financial strain that out of town events place on their guests. If the couple in question are truly your friends, they will most certainly understand your situation. In situations where my husband and I have been unable to attend an event due to the cost of travel, I simply call the couple to give our sincere apology and send a superb gift (Be creative and try a themed gift, for ex: items for a couples night in)! A week before the event, send a heartfelt letter of congratulations saying how much they mean to you and let the couple know they are in your thoughts on their special day and how you wish you could be there. A few days after the event, follow up with a phone call to see how everything went and recommend a get together next time either of you are within a reasonable distance. Being a military family is no easy task, and as much as we wish we could be at everyones special events, it is simply not ascertainable. Good Luck on your decision making