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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
S/O Godparent Question...
If you have kids, have you selected someone to raise them should something happen? What made you decide that?
If you don't have kids but plan it, have you thought about this? And what is your choice?
Re: S/O Godparent Question...
kinda but not really.
I think my parents. He thinks BIL/SIL. I'd be ok with that.
I think he would be totally ok with my sis/BIL but they don't have any kids yet so think that's the only thing keeping him from that.
Crazy Christmas Kids!
We will be guardians to a couple of our relatives kids if anything ever happens to them. My cousin Jennifer was the first to ask us & they chose us because DH & I are the most like them in personality and have the same values.
We've talked about who will potentially be guardians of our future children, we intend to make up a will before the arrival of our first. We had selected my BIL & SIL without much discussion b/c Megs is so someone who I would trust with my child's life & upbringing. Now that BIL has gone crazy & divorced her, that's not an option anymore, so we're not sure what to do. My cousin & her husband are currently the front-runners, but there's some hesitation there.
If my brother would hurry up & marry a decent girl this problem would be solved.
We decided on my parents. They are younger and in better health than H's, and also not crazy.
If my parents die or are otherwise unable to care for Ian, our backups are either Dan's friend C or my friend J. I am totally comfortable with either. Both of them love Ian to pieces and would parent him in the same style we do, and make sure he had the life we intended to provide for him.
We decided on one of my BIL's and his wife. We could not pick between our parents and wanted them to be able to remain grandparents. My brother was a non-option since he can barely pay the rent and support his 2 kids. We actually have not told the BIL's which one we picked, nor have we told our parents. We didnt want to deal with any hurt feelings. We just approached both brother in laws and said "we are making this decision and want to make sure you are open to it. We don't know who we are picking and arent going to make it public" and they were very understanding.
We ended up picking the one we did because, at the time, we thought they were more like us and were more financially stable. Sometimes I have second thoughts though and I know that after we have baby #2, we might re-evaluate.
We were putting together a will at one time and had to decide. We decided on my sister and BIL. We asked them, they said yes, but we never got around to finalizing the will - so we do need to do that! But at least they know.
We felt our options were my sister and BIL or DH's brother and SIL. Both have children, are very stable, and are great parents. However, DH's bro and SIL don't have a great relationship with DH's stepmom, so they rarely see the grandparents (by choice). We wanted DS to grow up knowing his grandparents (we see them pretty often). Even though my sister does not live in Houston and probably would see DH's parents rarely, too, we wanted a couple that would be open to fostering the relationship, and we knew that my sister and BIL would.
We did not have a lot of options. We chose my Mom and SD for right now. My Mom is in her early 50s so having 2 kids wouldn't be out of the question for her.
My Dad and SM would take over should something happen to Mom. They are also the same age. The reason they aren't front runners is that they live in PA and my Dad's history of problems.
My Sister is only 21, my brother is in Boston and is crazy and can barely handle his own son and live in baby mama. My SIL and BIL would be ok, but they are just so different than DH and I in the way they raise their kids, so we wouldn't be completely comfortable with that.
MIL and FIL are just too old and crazy.
Collin Thayne 10.11.2010
We need to have things written up official still- but we've got 2 amazing options that I would feel more than comfortable with.
First option is my parents. They are young, great health, very active, and would provide a healthy/happy lifestyle for our kiddos.
Now if something were to change (health/financial situation/ etc) then My DH's Brother and his wife would take our kiddo. They are both more than fantastic with kids, they have the same religious issues to deal with as we do and will be raising their kids very similar to how we are planning to raise our own, and although they currently don't have kids- they will soon(ish) and the kiddos would mesh well together (and they have told us that no matter how many kids we have and they have- they would not make us split them up). So they are willing to have a Brady Bunch
We have decided on my brother/SIL. They have 2 of their own and are great parents. My mom is single and in her 60's, so no-go there. DH first wanted his mom, but then he finally realized that while she isn't "old" (late 50's now) she could be down the line. She has raised 4 of her own kids and needs to just be grandma!
We plan to discuss this with my bro/SIL when they come to town in July.
Yes.
With the older girls it really isn't an option. Their dad would raise them. This terrifies me.
For Tori we selected the family members that are the most responsible/stable and would raise her in an environment similar to our home.
*Thinking about this makes me want to throw up though.*
No, honestly we haven't, I know we *should* but there's just no good choice. My parents are too old, DH's parents are much younger and better off financially so I suppose they are probably the front runner but my mom would never forgive me if we chose the ILs over her. My sister and BIL, no, just no, they're too different from us. I thought DH's younger sister was a good choice but now I don't know for personal reasons, plus she's single and lives in Fort Worth. I used to think DH's older sister and BIL were too different from us, but currently, I think they're the best choice.
I really wish I had some cousins.
ETA: The only strike agains SIL and BIL is that they live in Austin which would take Cooper away from both sets of grandparents who live here in Houston. He'd still see the ILs a lot but I don't know how much time he'd get w/ my family, though I think SIL would do her best to make it happen.
We choose my parents because they live relatively close (Victoria) and I know they would move in a heartbeat to accommodate the kids. Although right now that is not really a big deal because they are so small, but we figured if we both passed away and they were school - aged - ideally, we would not want them to have to deal with the loss of both parents and then have to move on top of that.
If my parents are not able to do it, then we have selected DH's sister and BIL, who live in New Mexico. Honestly, I would have some small concerns about discipline. BIL and SIL have two girls already(11 and 7), who love my kids and are great with them. DH's sister is a teacher and great with kids, but they tend to be more lax in the area of discipline than we are.
No babies for us yet, but we have some good folks in mind for god parents and legal guardians.
I wouldn't be worried that people would be insulted that they were not chosen, just don't tell them and they can find out when you are dead! (If it even comes up, which hopefully it won't.)
We need to make a will. It's one of those things that keeps coming up and then gets put on the back burner.
I would choose my brother and SIL. They have offered and my SIL actually sounded a little too excited about something possibly happening to us! She has two boys and would love a little girl to spoil.
DH wants it to be his parents (and it probably will be). MIL is young (only 2 yrs. older than SIL). My parents are older and not really an option.
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we are lucky in that the possibility of me+DH+kids' mom all dying at the same time is highly unlikely.
we have, however, discussed what would happen if DH passes away. i am not a legal guardian of the kids, but would adopt them if he were to die. if their mom died, they would simply live with us.
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We had to decide this so we could take care of our wills, especially before we moved. We thought long and hard about it. It was between my sister and her husband, and DH's brother and his wife. DH's brother is definitely more financially able to care for them, but a) he lives on Long Island, and b) they have a spendy lifestyle that we don't necessarily think is best for our kids. They're good people--just different. My sister, on the other hand, doesn't have much money, but she raises her children in much the same manner that we're raising ours. They're more down to earth, and they're in Houston.
We ultimately chose my sister and her husband, especially since we would financially be able to help them provide for them with our estate.
DH and I are listed on 2 seperate family's wills to be the guardians if something should happen to them. Guess that makes us feel good.
When we have kids and something should happen, as of now, I would list my BFF and her DH as guardians. She is like a sister and our children would still be in our families. My sister is crazy and they don't have same views as we do. SIL is doubly crazy, not married and lives with MIL so she's out.
GEAUX TIGERS!!!
1st pregnancy: BFP- 6/28/09 - Found out we lost our little girl on 10/9/09 at 19w 4d - D&E- 10/14/09
June 2010, corrective surgery for Septate Uterus and large fibroids
2nd pregnancy: BFP- 10/18/10 - Slow rising, non-doubling HCGs, no heart beat. Non-viable pregnancy, D&C- 11/12/10
Started Metformin 6/30/11, Started Clomid 7/20/11 - Unsuccessful
HSG and Laparoscopic surgery revealed blocked tubes and lots of scar tissue...IVF here we come!!!
Surprise BFP naturally!!! IT'S A BOY!!!
Ditto!
We have one close friend and his wife who do not have kids yet and would be our first, and really only viable, option. I HATE that this is not done yet but it was set for my parents before they divorced and are no longer an option.